


Voices

by Local_Asshole



Category: Supergirl (Comics), Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: "unrequited" love, Ableism, Abuse, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Bullying, F/F, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Slow Burn, blind!Lena, but Kara and Lena get their hokey pokey too, everyone is nice except for Lillian and Mxy, it's very requited and very gay bitches, j fuckin k, meaning Lena and Veronica, some brief sexy times, some violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 17:33:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 46,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11719143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Local_Asshole/pseuds/Local_Asshole
Summary: Lena is not a fan of socializing, since the conversations often lead to her psychopathic brother or the fact that she is blind.Then she meets Kara her first year of high school, but as their friendship overcomes many obstacles throughout the years, Lena's family life continues to drive a wedge between them.But that is not the worst part.Because Lena is also finding herself falling in love with her best friend.





	1. Freshman: Sirens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _A meeting between two very different girls grows into a tentative friendship._
> 
> **TRIGGER WARNING: ABLEISM, ABUSE, AND BULLYING.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Find me on Tumblr at spoopercorp and on FF as Local-Asshole.**
> 
> **Chapter Theme: Sirens by Fleurie.**

# Freshman: Sirens

* * *

Kara Danvers had a plethora of friends to come by.

Or perhaps, more accurately, admirers.

At least that was what Lena heard while navigating the halls, not that she particularly went out of her way to garner information on the student, she just could not escape it; the entirety of the school talked about her, whether it be about appearance or accomplishments or otherwise.

Kara Danvers: artistic, athletic, beautiful, intelligent, has a cool older sister, has cool friends...

Midvale was located on the outskirts of Metropolis, Delaware. It was a small suburban town, and that meant  _everyone_  knew each other whether they liked it or not. There was exactly one elementary school, one middle school, and one high school—students have known each other since kindergarten if not earlier.

Not Lena though, she recently moved from the urban heart of Metropolis after her older brother's atrocious crimes that landed him in federal prison—Stryker's Island Penitentiary, arguably the most protected government facility in the world holding the baddest of the bad and the maddest of the mad, boasting hundreds upon hundreds of highly trained wardens.

Lex scandalized the Luthor name, so they had to move far away, but close enough to maintain LuthorCorp. So Midvale it was, a town sheltered and suburban. Not that Lillian would ever admit that Lex was the cause of their family's downfall, not that she would ever slander her precious little boy—it was just a mountain of stocks falling, millions of dollars lost, numerous holders and board members pulling their loyalties back. It was just thousands of employees walking out following their resignations to join the crowds of protesters surrounding the main building within a six block radius.

No biggie. Easy to fix. Totally.

He was always the favorite.

Then again, Lena was adopted after all, and Lillian never failed to exploit every moment to remind her of that.

_He's in his thirties for fuck's sake. He should be held accountable for his own actions. He's no child._

She fought the overbearing urge to roll her eyes at the thoughts as she weaved her way to class, comfortably sitting down in the back like the rest, isolated.

Maybe she should have been partially thankful for Lex's infractions, it made navigating the school easier. She spent all summer at her mother's command to memorize every single millimeter of the school instead of accepting their offer to guide her and put her in special education classes.

_"Luthors don't need help. From anyone."_

Which, sure, Lena was always irked when people would baby her—treat her as a helpless little girl—she was a genius, honing her hearing within a few weeks of the incident, not that it was good enough for Lillian. She never was.

Even if her listening skills heightened due to her blindness, it did not make it any less frightening thinking about the beginning of freshman year, that she would happen to bump into the wrong person and that the situation would escalate.

The fear was significant, after Lena lost her sight there were several bullies that took advantage of her.

But her worries were quelled the first day.

People actively avoided her, and she was very sure it was more fear than pity judging from the shaky gossip that surrounded her.

"She's that Luthor girl, right? Sister of that lunatic that bombed the Capitol building?"

"Don't forget that he was also behind that massive school shooting at Smallville High."

"Shhh! No one talks about that, it's taboo."

"She's fucking creepy."

"Stay away from her if you know what's good for you."

"That bitch even looks like a psycho."

Being able to hold simple greetings with people was impossible, so making friends...clearly out of the question.

Not that Lena cared anyway, she was always alone, preferred to be by herself.

She was the talk of the entire school day one, but it seemed to ebb away at the arrival of Kara Danvers, her stardom rivalling and eventually overshadowing a Luthor menace's.

Lena startled when a series of quiet, shocked gasps filled her ears.

Then a single melodic voice resonated next to her.

"Is this seat taken?"

Lena short circuited, brows furrowed in confusion, still registering the fact that someone was actually talking to her.

"I don't...believe so?"

"Awesome," the person—the girl—said, and Lena heard a smile in her voice, "Mind if I sit here?"

"I...no, I guess?"

Lena heard some brief shuffling before a creak of the desk next to her told her that she had settled down into her new seat.

_Is this some sort of joke?_

"I'm Kara Danvers by the way," she whispered.

_This is definitely a joke._

"Lena," she returned, "Luthor."

She expected some sort of scoff, anything that hinted at disgust or intimidation that would tell her the girl was successfully chased off.

But no, what rolled off Kara's tongue and slipped out of her mouth was not anti-Luthor vitriol, but something simple, yet unexpected.

"That's a pretty name."

A compliment.

A  _compliment_.

There was another word that Lena added to her vocabulary to describe Midvale High's resident sweetheart.

 _Weird_.

* * *

And ' _insistent_ ' was added onto that list soon after.

And maybe ' _passive_ ' as well.

"Hi, Lena," came the distant informality.

She halted in her tracks.

"Uh. Hello..."

She shuffled through the voices inside her head in an attempt to identify the person.

"It's Kara," the voice greeted, right next to her.

She could not help the jolt her body made at the sudden close proximity.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to scare you. I thought you saw me?"

Lena straightened herself, an annoyed look crossing her features as she snapped, "I don't know if you knew this, but I'm kind of, well,  _blind_? You know,  _unable_ to  _see_ properly?"

She wildly waved a hand in front of her own face as a primitive gesture.

Kara flushed, "Oh no, I thought—well, you...I guess that explains the sunglasses and the fact that you don't really... _look_  at me when we talk, but I mean, most blind people walk with a cane, so I just assumed—I didn't mean to assume that," she huffed, hands fidgeting, "Oh man, this is kind of awkward and I'm probably sounding rudely ignorant right now—"

"Usually outside of school. When I use the canes I mean," Lena provided cautiously, "I've mapped this out, and there's plenty of noise bouncing around in a high school to go off of, not that this one is particularly difficult to navigate anyway."

_Since everyone seems to avoid me._

She shook her head, "I'm heading to class. Goodbye, Kara."

"Uh. Yeah. S-see you later, I guess?"

Lena frowned, she could hear the disappointment in the girl's voice, leaking into something that sounded like anticipation and eagerness, but she opted to ignore it. Associating with Lena, and by extension her family, meant bad business—she would learn soon enough.

Apparently not.

Kara Danvers was now the bane of Lena Luthor's existence, next to her mother.

The greetings and pushes for conversation kept nagging at her at least once day, the annoying voice sending a horrid headache into her brain, and it did not help that they shared biology class together.

It was a few weeks or so into the first term when she finally had enough.

"Hey, Lena!"

" _Seriously_?" she muttered.

"What's up?" Kara asked, quiet now that she was closer.

The Luthor's lips twitched, entertaining the idea of a smile as a warmth inside her chest swelled at the girl's attempt not to startle her.

She shook off the feeling within a fraction of a second.

"What the hell is the deal with you?" she barked.

"I—what?"

Lena immediately regretted the way she snapped once she heard Kara's tiny voice, hurt and surprised.

She groaned, "You're... _you_. Everyone talks about how awesome you are—"

Kara tilted her head, a light blush painting her cheeks, "People say that about me?"

Lena pursed her lips at the naive girl, "That's not really the point. I'm a Luthor. Doesn't that mean anything to you? At all? In the slightest?"

"Why would your last name be important?"

"Do you live under a rock? When was the last time you watched the news?"

Kara chuckled sheepishly, "Forever ago. I'm kind of preoccupied with boy bands and cartoons..."

Lena scoffed, "Yeah, but I'm sure you've heard about the Metropolis High shooting and the Capitol bombing, right? The last one was a few years ago?"

The blonde's expression darkened for a split second, "I, yeah, I heard about it, kind of hard to miss the news about a crazy man murdering hundreds of people."

"I hate to break it to you, but I'm the sister of that crazy man."

"Oh."

_There it is._

The apprehension, the trepidation that everyone succumbed to.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but this entire school kind of hates me. I'm ostracized, and I'm not certain how you missed the memo 'cause I'm pretty sure before you went to sit next to me in biology there was a circle of empty desks."

There was a moment of silence, Kara's jaw dropped in speechlessness.

Lena sighed, not waiting for an answer before walking off to her next class.

* * *

It had been a few days since the standoff she had with the most popular girl in school.

In hindsight, she should have played it out differently.

Now she was paranoid that  _something_  would happen. Positive reputation held influence, and influence held power, and Lena was jittery about what Kara would do to utilize that impact against her.

But it was almost a week's worth of silence from the blonde, and the more time that passed, the more anxious Lena became.

"Hey, kid."

She blinked, "Um, what?"

The man grumbled, "Are you blind  _and_  deaf? I need to see a pass."

She winced at the harsh statement, rummaging through her backpack before she felt dread fill her body at no familiar texture of plastic, "Sorry. I forgot today."

"No pass, no ride."

Lena frowned, desperate, "Please, I can pay double to make up for this next time. It's going to take me forever to walk home."

"Not my problem, kid."

She tried again, "Please, I swear—"

"I said it's not my problem. No pass, no ride. So scurry on off and—"

"I have an extra pass."

Lena's ears twitched at the sound of the familiar voice, footsteps echoing in front of her.

Kara tread up the stairs of the large vehicle and showed the driver two tickets with a tight-lipped smile.

Then she turned to the girl behind her, offering her palm out, "Come on, take my hand."

Lena hesitated, fumbling with her cane before successfully closing it, but the blonde reached out and closed the distance. She brushed her fingers gently against the Luthor's hand, who could not help the way she twitched at the contact.

"I can do it myself."

Kara quickly pulled back, retracting her hand, and Lena found herself longing for the soft touch immediately.

"Watch your step then," she warned, tone delicate.

They filed into the vehicle and sat together in silence.

Kara was the first one to break it.

"That guy's a jerk."

Lena pursed her lips, "Yeah... But there are worse people. And he was just doing his job."

"But you promised to make up for it next time," she countered.

_Promises don't mean anything in real life._

The Luthor sighed, relenting from the argument, avoiding the way Kara actually sounded genuinely upset with the situation even after the problem was taken care of.

"Why'd you help me anyway?" she inquired, her tone slightly snappy.

"Why wouldn't I?"

Her voice sounded so puzzled at the thought that Lena almost laughed before her voice took on a sour taste, "But I'm—"

"I don't care if you're a Luthor," Kara interrupted, "You haven't done anything wrong."

"Of course you care," she bristled, "You didn't annoy me for an entire week once I told you."

She bit her lip, unintentionally implying to the girl that she actually  _noticed_  that she suddenly disappeared.

"You seemed really upset so I thought I'd give you some space," the blonde beamed, "And I see you missed me."

Lena pushed her sunglasses up and folded her arms, huffing an irked grunt, "Don't get so full of yourself, and don't expect me to owe you anything for this."

Her mind buzzed out at the sound of Kara's bright chuckle.

"I don't expect anything back. I just wanted to help. That's all."

Lena was caught off guard, "Really?"

"Why do you sound so surprised?"

"Most people usually want something from me," she murmured.

Kara shrugged, "Well, in that case..."

Lena's shoulders deflated.

 _Of course_.

"How about you actually accept my friendship? That'd be pretty neat to know it's not so one-sided."

"You're weird."

"I get that a lot."

"Why would you want to be friends with  _me_  of all people though?"

"I think you're nice," Kara giggled, "You know, past all that..."

She trailed off.

"Go on, finish that sentence," Lena dared.

She mentally did a double take, surprised at the amount of tease that laced her statement, and that she managed to have a conversation with someone for more than a minute without them scrambling.

It was...a pleasant change, one she was not quite ready to admit.

Kara smiled, concluding her sentence without shame, "Past all that prickliness."

Lena scoffed, "Me? 'Prickliness'? I thought you'd say something more like 'bitchiness' or—"

"No, no, no. Definitely not," Kara shook her head vehemently, "You're prickly. Like a cactus."

"Well, I'm sure you've noticed that I'm not really a people per— _did you just compare me to a cactus_?"

"Yep!" Kara grinned, "You keep others at a distance. It's like you have, you know, um..." she scrunched her nose, looking for the right words before starting over again, "It's like you have..." another pause, "...pokey pokeys."

Lena's expression was one of utter confusion, "What do you mean by pokey po—do you mean  _thorns_?"

Kara snapped her fingers and nodded, "Yes!"

The Luthor was amused, "Well, that was certainly one hell of a mental lapse."

The blonde laughed, "Yeah. My mind is all over the place right now, I'm kind of..."

"Scatterbrained?" Lena suggested, "An airhead?"

"Yes, those," Kara acknowledged, "That sounds about right. You know, you should be my personal dictionary from now on."

"Only if you pay for my fare from now on," Lena shot back with a smirk

"I wouldn't have to if you'd take the school bus—it's free. Why do you take the local one instead?"

"The school bus's jurisdiction can't drop me off close enough to where I live since it's so far, and I stay after school a lot of the time for extracurriculars. Though I could ask the same of you: what exactly brought  _you_ here?"

Kara chuckled, bashful in the spotlight, "I take this way home some of the time, when I want some peace and quiet—school buses are pretty rowdy. And some of the time I have to stay at school longer for practice so..."

"I can imagine," Lena agreed, adjusting her sunglasses, "I'm not a fan of too much noise, I'm more sensitive to sound."

Kara chuckled, "I can see that."

The second she finished her sentence she did a double take, "Or—I meant I can tell. Uh, yeah. I-I didn't mean to insult you by—"

"No offense taken. I don't mind, Kara," Lena reassured, "I'm not bothered by it. You can use visual language around me."

"Noted."

The Luthor's lips moved to make a smile before rising from her seat, "This is my stop."

The next sentence that slipped out of the blonde's mouth was bathed in disappointment, "Oh. How do you know?"

"Buses utilize the same route—I've grown accustomed; the last speed bump is the sixth one and I usually get up around thirty seconds after that 'cause it should— _woah_!"

The vehicle screeched to an abrupt stop, Lena toppling over and landing onto her classmate's lap.

Kara chuckled at the figure sprawled on her, helping the girl find her bearings and aiding her back up, "Don't get too comfy."

Lena shrugged herself off awkwardly.

"Wouldn't dream of it," she muttered out.

* * *

It seemed fate had plans to pit the young Luthor in the most embarrassing of situations with none other than the insufferable blonde. The majority of them were likely due to Lena's nervousness running through her veins and making her sweat at the prospect of the next encounter; she nearly tripped on her way to her desk until a pair of strong arms caught her, she almost fell asleep in her English class and was woken by a gentle tap on the shoulder, she dropped a plethora of her notebooks and they were promptly slipped back into her grip, among other things—all of the altruistic gestures done with a friendly chipper voice and genuine kindness.

They developed a bond that bordered on friendship due to Lena's ' _prickly_ ' nature.

But nothing could compare to the embarrassment of today.

Though she was thankful it was not her own blunder this time.

It was snowy, the particles of icy flakes drifting lazily onto the vast bed of snow outside that was impressively ankle deep considering it had only snowed for a day or two.

The noise in the cafeteria was perhaps the most troubling part of Lena's day. Students ran amok, filing in and out with loud screams and the occasional pop of a snack bag filled with junk food.

She had no idea why today of all days was particularly more dreadful than the rest, maybe it was just the winter effect, but other than that, this day was particularly normal; she would leave her class, walk to the cafeteria, sometimes get in line to retrieve lunch while she heard the mindless droning of the workers in the kitchen asking what toppings the students wanted and them replying with just as much lack of enthusiasm.

And Lena decided to get lunch, but her tray's fate remained the same; she would bring it to an isolated corner, hoping there would be less jeers than usual, and then go on about the break barely eating and picking at her food instead.

However, today was also the day where she was rudely bumped into by some ungraceful buffoon, and the fact that it was winter and obnoxiously loud and that she was already in a grumpy mood did not help the situation whatsoever.

"You're kidding.  _Seriously_?" she growled under her breath before snapping at the offender, "Hey! Watch where you're—"

"Oh my gosh, Lena! I'm so sorry!"

She immediately relented at the sound of Kara's voice and found her own softening slightly at her presence.

"It's...it's fine."

"No, it's not!" she cried, and Lena heard the crinkle of napkins before being bombarded with swipe after swipe against her chest.

The distress in Kara's voice was clearly evident, "I got your food all over you—and oh gosh—your  _food_! Now you don't have anything to eat and I'm—"

"Don't worry about it, it's fine," Lena repeated, probably with more bite than she intended, though not directed at the blonde, more at the snickers of passing spectators that surrounded them—or more herself.

"Good job, Danvers," a voice commended.

The wiping movement on Lena's shirt halted and she felt the hands tense, she could only imagine the angry and very unamused face the girl was making at the commentator.

Kara sighed, resuming her endeavors to clean the unattractive splatter off Lena, "I have a t-shirt you can borrow! It's in my duffel bag for practice and I have a lot more so it doesn't—"

"Look, I appreciate everything you're doing, but—"

"I  _insist_ ," she pouted stubbornly.

Lena did not bother arguing, and for the first time, she felt like she would not win many with this girl, and she was very confident in her debating abilities.

"C'mon," she whispered, taking Lena's hand and leading her towards, what she recognized, was the nearby bathroom.

The Luthor pulled her hand away with pursed lips, "I can walk without you babying me just fine, Ms. Danvers."

Kara winced at the formality, "O-Of course, I-I didn't mean to—I know I can be kind of—"

"Touchy?" Lena finished with an edge to her voice, "I've noticed."

The blonde nodded, unzipping her bag and handing the girl her t-shirt, "I'm sorry. Again."

"I told you that you have nothing to apologize for. It was an accident—unintentional," she shook her head with a scoff, "Or at least I hope so."

"Of course not!"

Lena smirked at the aggressive statement.

Then the blonde's voice eased, "Um. You'll be okay?"

The Luthor tilted her head, "I— _what_? Kara, I'm not dying, or hurt. I just got food all over me. That's it."

" _I_  got food all over you," the girl corrected, "And I'm sorry. You're sure you're fine?"

Lena crossed her arms, "Since you're so persistent, other than my dirty appearance, I think the snowy weather is getting to me."

"Yeah," Kara hummed, as if she was semi-deep in thought, "You've kind of been more... _prickly_  around the edges since I last saw you."

"Are you going to keep comparing me to a cactus?"

"What about a sea urchin?"

"No."

"Porcupine?"

"No."

Kara made a face, pensive in thought, "Um..."

Lena smirked, "Are you done?"

She giggled, "Not really."

The Luthor scoffed, waving her hand, "Yeah. Okay. You can leave now, you can discuss this with me later."

It seemed that Kara was aware of the lighter tone in the dismissal.

"Okay, I'll leave now," she beamed, "See you around."

* * *

And Lena did.

Just not so soon, especially not in the way she was expecting.

She was strolling outside, a leisure walk to her local bus after spending her time being ignored by fellow T.S.A. members, all of which were boys, despite her being an officer. It was probably because they were afraid of Lena, which sure, she understood; they could shun her for being a Luthor, fine, so be it. But ostracizing her because she was a female? That would not fly with Lena, she knew better; they refused to take suggestions from—

 _"A_ girl _?"_

_She rolled her eyes, "Yes, is that a problem for your childish, backward mentality?"_

_"Yeah, it's a problem. For you," another boy sneered, his animosity rising, "Don't think you can keep up with us."_

_"On the contrary," she countered, "I believe it's the other way around. I'm an officer."_

_"Guys, she has a point," another cut in, "She's an officer for a reason."_

_The other boy was dumbfounded, sputtering, "That doesn't mean anything!"_

She ended up sitting in the back in frustration and rolled her eyes under her sunglasses at how base and unprogressive the school was, being in a small suburban and traditional town such as Midvale.

Lena was outnumbered as the only girl in the club, and she could only listen as they all scrambled and cursed for their parts, continuing to screw up their programming with a simple robot.

She absolutely refused to be underestimated and belittled, and certainly showed them all when they gave up. She constructed what they were doing and included a mechanism far more advanced than their puny sexist minds could conjure up, with a smug smirk and crossed arms to top it all off. It was clearly impressive, though if she had her eyesight she probably would have spent a lot less time trying to feel around for wires and counting at the circuit boards.

Lena even left her programming teacher impressed.

_"You should apply for T.S.A. president next year. There's also a convention for girls in the S.T.E.M. field this spring—I think you'd excel and inspire with your skills. Disabilities aren't always limitations."_

Lena was proud of the newfound respect she gained from her teacher, even if the woman still remained wary of the Luthor name.

Though she was unsure of the results with the boys; they could have grown more adamant in their hostility towards her—their jealousy. Or they would eventually come to respect her, as long as she did three times the work they did.

Lena did notice one of the boys that acknowledged her skills before she had to convince all of them. He was timid in his protests and was immediately rebuked for suggesting they should listen to their officer. Winn was the name if she recalled correctly, who glanced at her with utmost reverence at her skills.

It was a start.

Lena grunted, taking a small step back the moment she registered that she had walked straight into a firm body.

There was only quiet and the feeling made her uneasy.

"Kara?"

She yelped when a large stubby hand wrapped around her arms in a savage grip.

_Definitely not Kara._

"What's up, Luthor?"

She was swiftly removed of her jacket, leaving her in Kara's t-shirt from earlier, and shoved to the ground.

"You think you're so smart, don't you?"

She fell in the snow face first, the rest of her body plunged into the cold ice, and she immediately felt her skin freeze from the sting.

Lena attempted to scramble up and away before a punch to the face sent her sunglasses askew and her reeling back into the snow. There would definitely be a bruise on her cheek later, she could feel the tenderness forming as well as the blood of her split lip.

"This your walking stick?"

She registered the second voice coinciding with the sound of her cane snapping and locking into place from its shortened form, and then a whistle as it whipped through the air and landed against her chest.

Lena was flipped onto her back by the force, a fit of coughing hacking out from her throat at her bruised ribs.

She hastily sat up, moved to back away until a third voice called from behind followed by a loud clang of metal that grated against her eardrums; she winced at the high pitch and made to scramble away until a similar series of sounds surrounded her, complemented by the cackles of the three boys.

Lena shook her head violently, plugging her ears, fearing they would bleed if they continued with their actions. She curled herself into a fetal position, no longer minding how cold and wet the snow was—skin numb and an irritated red from prolonged contact.

Tears spilled from her eyes as she whimpered out a futile, "Please stop!"

But they kept on laughing at Lena and worsened the grinding sound of the metal, and she just stayed there, clutching her ears and hoping they would get bored and leave her in the snow.

"Back off! I swear I'll—"

"Shit, scram, guys!"

The boys quickly fled the scene, taking their boisterous giggles with them.

Lena remained, shaking and curled in on herself, soaking from her time in the snow, arm secured around her chest as the sobs continued to wrack her body.

"Hey..."

She flinched, her jaw so frozen she had to speak through clattering teeth, "P-Please, don't h-hurt me."

"No, no. It's me. It's Kara. I saw those... _jerks_  bullying you—here's your coat—and I couldn't  _not_  do something and..."

And suddenly it was not so cold anymore, the fuzzy feeling of the warm fabric draped over Lena's body and heated arms tentatively pulled her up to stand.

She whimpered, "They—my things, they—"

"I've got your backpack," she informed, helping the Luthor don her coat.

"My cane?" she ran a hand over her sunglasses to straighten its position.

She whipped her head around at Kara's voice.

"I can't find your cane," she informed somberly after a moment of quiet, "I think those guys took it with them."

Lena frowned, voice gruff from her sobbing, "Thanks."

She shrugged off the comforting hand that was placed on her shoulder.

"I'm coming with you," Kara proclaimed.

Lena shook her head, drying her tears with her sleeve, "I don't need you to."

"Yes, you do," she countered, "You don't have your cane, you'll get lost. I want to help you; the bus isn't far from here and when we hit your destination I'll walk you to your house and then I'll find a bus back. That's what friends do."

Lena straightened her hunched back, grimacing at how her aching ribs stretched with the movement.

She trembled as she trudged through the frost, unsure if the shivering was the effect of the cold or of the incident.

They traveled in silence to the bus, through the ride, and to her home, where she swore she heard some sort of gasp from Kara—she lived in a mansion after all, there probably were not many of those in Midvale.

And with quiet goodbyes and a quiet thanks, they departed.

* * *

Explaining to Lillian how she slipped on ice in the process of returning home proved to be...difficult, as usual.

But she was able to check up with the doctor and there was only a bruise on her chest and her cheek as well as a split lip, all easy to take care of.

If Lena thought that was difficult though, attempting to reassure Kara Danvers that she was absolutely fine proved near impossible.

"Are you sure? Those guys were jerks."

"They were," Lena agreed, gingerly caressing her bruised cheek, the timidness in her voice unbidden at the memories.

"But you're okay. At least I hope you are. Right?"

"That's literally the eighth time you've asked me that this entire class," Lena shook her head, "You should pay attention."

The blonde scoffed quietly, "Psssh, biology isn't as important as my friends."

"Friends..." Lena repeated.

"Are we not?"

The tone of the question was alarmingly concerned.

"No," she answered, "I mean, of course we're... _friends_ , I'm just...I can't really remember the last time I could call someone that."

Lena could feel Kara frown next to her at the offhand comment.

"Don't worry, you'll have a lot of other friends!" she perked up, "You can meet mine! There's Lucy, James, Mike, and Winn!"

The Luthor's ears perked up at the familiar name.

"Winn? I think I know him? From T.S.A., right?"

Kara grinned, "Yeah! Gosh, he would  _not_  stop talking about how awesome you were last week. He's such a nerd."

"I'm glad to hear you're surrounding yourself with good company."

"Totally!" Kara beamed, "James is awesome at photography—"

"Jimmy Olsen?"

"You've heard of him."

"Who  _hasn't_ heard of him exactly? Everyone says he's the best football player and photographer in the school. And Mike is the M.V.P. of the basketball team, right?"

Kara nodded enthusiastically, "Yeah, and Lucy is in J.R.O.T.C., she's pretty famous in that class since—"

"Her father is General Lane?" Lena mumbled uncomfortably, recalling his horrid slander against her brother, which she agreed with, but the hate in the speech still made her wince at times.

Lucy was polite though, in her physical education class, though she was stuck permanently paired to a blind girl to cater to her every helpless whim—not that Lena actually called nor accepted help from anyone anyway.

But Lucy was there as an option if she needed any, and though the Luthor would not admit it to herself, she did grow somewhat fond of her sassy comments, especially when she disclosed embarrassing little snippets of their mutual blonde friend.

"Yeah, how'd you— _oh_ , yeah..." Kara frowned. Lucy had talked a lot about her father having to go over the Capitol bombing and his reluctance to let her attend the same high school as the madman.

"Class, we're going to be doing a lab today."

Lena released a breath she did not realize she was holding, thankful for the interruption.

The teacher announced, "Frog dissection."

The room erupted into a mixture of groans, cheers, and retches.

Kara was one of the gaggers.

"Gross!"

The Luthor snickered.

"This isn't funny, Lena!" she cried, "It's disgusting!"

"You have a weak stomach, don't you?"

"Well, you would too if—"

Lena raised a brow, "If I could see?"

"I—oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean—"

"Don't worry about it," Lena frowned, "Everyone else walks on glass and eggshells around me, sometimes they take too long to formulate a reply or they don't respond at all 'cause they're afraid I'll unleash some Luthor nonsense on them."

"O-Oh. Well. You're welcome, I guess?"

"Pick your partners and I'll go over the procedures!" the teacher called out, readying the frogs as he dodged the curious students following him, "Or you can opt out and do paperwork instead."

"Urgh!"

Lena nudged Kara, "C'mon, partner, it won't be so bad. Besides, you have me to walk you through everything after all. Unless you prefer to fill out a packet."

The blonde shrugged, "I guess that's true, but I still don't get the point of this."

"Well, if you were listening," she teased, "The layout of the organs in a frog is similar enough to a human's that students would be able to gain insight on how their bodies work, generally."

Kara huffed, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's just get going."

Halfway through the process Lena had second guesses and almost regretted her decision to pair up with the squeamish blonde; more than once the tray was nearly knocked over in Lena's attempts to console Kara.

"I should've done the packet instead," she whined, burying her face into her elbow.

The Luthor shook her head, "You haven't even touched the frog yet. All I need is for you to pin the flaps of the incisions down so we can identify the organs and get this over with."

Kara took a deep breath and reluctantly skewered the frog in place.

"I don't get why you find this so fascinating."

"'Cause it is," Lena chuckled, feeling around the slime of the amphibian.

Then she frowned.

"What's wrong?" Kara asked.

"I'm not sure if I can find all of the parts, they're too small and slippery for me to...and the gloves aren't tight enough," her expression hardened as she listed the anatomy, "Larynx, heart, stomach, lung—"

"That's the liver lobe," Kara corrected.

Lena smirked, "How about  _you_ finish labelling the rest of the frog then?"

"You know what," she started with a playful edge to her voice, "I will. Challenge accepted, and I'll wipe that stupid smug grin off your face while I'm at it too."

Lena did not doubt her abilities for one second, unsurprised when the teacher came around to check them off with a short congratulations before moving on to the next pair.

"Success!" Kara cheered, then she jabbed a finger to her friend's chest, "Take that!"

The Luthor titled her head, "I'm not impressed."

The blonde frowned, but before she could shoot a snarky comeback, Lena was quick to add onto hers.

"If I'm impressed, that'd imply I'm shocked, but I'm not—I was pretty confident you'd pull it off. And you did," she grinned, "You got us full points, I wouldn't have been able to."

"Oh, well..."

Lena heard a shuffle of feet and assumed that Kara was being her flustered self, the sound always followed a compliment.

"I look forward to working with you next lab," she smiled, "You could probably help me study for the A.P. bio exam since I'm..." she waved a hand in front of her face, "...quite inept with some aspects of the subject as you can tell."

Kara beamed at Lena's acknowledgement, removing her gloves and tossing them in the trash, "Don't sell yourself short, you haven't gotten a single 'A-' on a test."

"An 'A' is worthless if it isn't a first place 'A' in my family," she chuckled, "If someone gets a hundred percent, I have to make sure I give at least a hundred ten percent."

The confusion laced in Kara's tone was prominent, "But—that—geez, your family sounds really tough with school."

"Tell me about it," Lena smiled, a tease crinkling her eyes as she waved a hand towards her friend's voice, "You have frog goo on your lab coat by the way."

"Ew!" Kara screeched as she jerked to the side and flailed her arms, frantically spinning in circles trying to remove the cloth, momentarily forgetting that Lena was blind, "What? Where—"

Her sentence was interrupted by a disastrous crash and a wobble of metal where a scream followed soon after.

Lena was dumbfounded, "Kara, did you just...slap the tray and flip it to the other side of the classroom?"

"Uh, yeah..." she admitted sheepishly, "I think some goo splattered on Siobhan when it went soaring and landed. There's also some on Winn and Lyra too. Oops."

Then she grumbled, waving a sorry hand at the hysterically crying students, "And I checked, there's no slime on my lab coat you dummy!"

"It seems you aren't as clever as I thought you were."

"Oh," Kara placed her hands on her hips, "You think you're  _so_  witty, don't you? Well, do I have  _news_ for you—"

"Ms. Danvers!" the teacher shouted angrily, escorting the three students from the lab, "If you would so kindly clean up after yourself..."

"S-Sorry!" came the apology, "I'm on it!"

* * *

The encounters after  _that_  disaster could really not compare to its level of carefreeness and something that felt so genuinely delightful. What followed after were occasional greetings in the cafeteria where Kara would promptly be dragged away by her friends, all of whom gave Lena wary stares and gawked whenever she and her would hold a conversation. Mike was often preoccupied with balancing inanimate objects on his nose, like a pencil or spoon. Perhaps it was the tray itself today. Lucy and Winn were less vigilant compared to James and the other girl who she suspected to be Kara's older sister.

Nothing nor anyone stopped their interactions in class though, and Lena was thankful, else the lectures would have been mind-numbingly boring in English, and to have a partner in biology made it immensely more interesting.

Lena would always savor the little facts about Kara as time quickly passed through their freshman year.

_"What? I'm not some dumb blonde!" she sputtered, crossing her arms defiantly._

_"Let me rephrase," Lena scoffed incredulously, "My shock doesn't come from the fact that you're taking four A.P.s, it comes from the fact that one of them is Chinese Mandarin."_

_Kara shrugged, "So? I like languages."_

_"What do you mean 'so'? Chinese Mandarin is one of the most difficult languages in the world!"_

_She gasped, "Is the great Lena Luthor admitting that she's not good at something?" she chuckled, "First bio and now languages, what else is there?"_

_"I'm fine at bio and geo, but some of the more tactile and visual labs throw me off," she corrected, "Though English isn't my strong suit."_

_The blonde tilted her head, "It isn't?"_

_"You're taking the English literature test, right?" Lena inquired, "I'm taking the English language test."_

_"Oh," Kara caught on, "You don't like analyzing literature?"_

_"Not ones from the nineteenth century. They're irrelevant. I do enjoy them my free time if I happen to select certain texts I like, but I don't want to waste my time trying to read through metaphors and similes for educational purposes," she explained, a hint of annoyance tinging her voice, "I'm more into research documents when it's concerned academically, where they get straight to the point and give facts."_

_"But that's so_ bland  _and_ boring _," Kara cried, "If I want research, I'll just do it myself."_

_"You weren't very active with the frog lab," Lena teased, "So much for 'doing it yourself' I'd say."_

_"Our interests lie on opposite ends of the spectrum," Kara defended, "What other tests are you taking though? Besides bio and English?"_

_"Psych and BC calc."_

_"Yuck."_

_Lena smirked, "I take it you're not a math person?"_

_Kara shrugged, "Math is fine, it just...sucks the life out of me with all the mindless calculations."_

_"What are you bad at exactly then?"_

_"Cooking? Sort of?"_

_Lena did a double take, "You, lover of all things edible—"_

_"A_ good  _edible," she interrupted, "Not all food is created equal."_

_The Luthor rolled her eyes, "You, a lover of all things that are a 'good' edible, can't cook?"_

_"Okay, I_ can  _cook!"_

_"But you're awful at it."_

_"I get distracted."_

_Lena did a double take and shook her head, "By what exactly?"_

_"By the television, by the dogs that walk outside the window, by—"_

_"So pretty much anything? Your attention span might be worse than your cooking."_

_"Hey! I'm—I'm good at sports!" she whined._

_"Well, that makes only one of us then."_

_"You exercise your brain with all the academic clubs you're in. But you know," Kara nudged Lena with her elbow, "Maybe you are athletic, maybe you just need to spend some more time around me so it'll rub off on you?"_

_The Luthor tilted her head curiously, "Why the question at the end of the sentence? Is this an invitation?"_

_Kara nodded enthusiastically, "Yeah! You should come after school today for the scrimmage! I want to introduce you to everyone too."_

_Lena pressed her lips into a grimace, "I'm sure everyone would like to formally meet a_ Luthor _."_

_"Hey," Kara nudged her with her elbow, "They'll adore you, and if not, they'll warm up to you and learn, whether they like it or not. It's March, so spring season is almost starting and you'll be able to hear how much I kick butt at soccer," she paused, scratching her head, "Or, at least I hope I kick butt."_

_"I'm sure you will," Lena assured, "I've heard a great many things about Kara Danvers: highest scoring forward and most protective goalkeeper on the varsity team."_

_Kara flushed and giggled sheepishly, "I only play the goalie when Lucy can't make it 'cause of her J.R.O.T.C. stuff."_

_"People also say that you have the most stamina on the team," Lena added, "Strongest as well."_

_"Don't tell the captain that," she chuckled, "She's pretty confident that she's the best player."_

_"Who's the captain?"_

_"My sister, Alex."_

_"Well, the real question is that_ is  _she the best player? She was elected captain after all."_

 _"Yeah, she's the best,_ for her position as the midfielder _. I'll admit that maybe,_ maybe _, her accuracy is better than mine, but captains aren't the best players—they're captains 'cause they also possess leadership and patience—"_

_"Of which you seem to lack from my observations," Lena hummed, smirking at the huff she heard next to her, "And I'm not quite adept with soccer positions, nor am I so sure your sister will appreciate what you just said."_

_"You'll learn the more you come to the practices and games, it'd be great to have you there for moral support and to have my back when Alex and I discuss who's contributed the most to the team."_

_"'Discuss'?" she repeated._

_"Sisterly banter," Kara rephrased when she cleared her throat and waved her hands._

_"And that euphemism consists of name-calling and temper tantrums?"_

_"Exactly," the blonde laughed, throwing her head back, "How'd you know?"_

_"I had a brother once," Lena smiled, though the tips twitched with uneasiness at the mention of Lex._

Had  _a brother._

_Once upon a time._

* * *

She felt guilty for arriving to the scrimmage late, spent the majority of her time beforehand fussing over whether she should actually go or not—she refused to be subjected to Kara's friends' untrustworthy stares again.

Lena eventually decided to take up the offer, and she made it easier upon herself by resorting to attending the event fashionably late; she would have to spend less time there as opposed to if she was early, but if she was tardy everyone would stare at the newcomer, not to mention the fact that it would be a Luthor.

Her overthinking never ceased even when she strutted her way to the lush field, until a soccer ball slammed into her face.

And the force of the momentum immediately sent her to the ground, disoriented and groaning in pain.

_This was definitely a bad idea._

"Oh my gosh, Lena!"

Kara gently eased her to stand up, and the injured girl shook her head, tilting to the side when it created an instant bout of dizziness, but a pair of strong hands held steadfastly onto her.

"Are you o—you're  _bleeding_!"

Lena could hear the guilt and shame in her voice, speaking through the iron liquid that poured out from her nose, "It's fine. Just another  _accident_ I hope."

"O-Of  _course_ it was," she replied, shoving a handful of napkins into her friend's hands, "I-I  _swear_  I'm not out to get you or anything. You were at the wrong place at the wrong time and I have bad aim—"

"It's  _fine_ ," she repeated, inspecting her nose with her hand before hissing, "That's going to be tender for a while."

"Do you need a nurse?" came a separate voice, immediately answering its own question, "Yeah, you need a nurse."

Lena stiffened at the newcomer.

"Oh! This is Lucy," Kara introduced, "Lucy, this is—"

"Lena Luthor. I'm aware. We've been acquainted already actually."

The blonde tilted her head, her eyes darting from side to side, "You have? Why didn't I hear anything?"

"We have gym together, and the topic never really came up," the Lena supplied, relaxing somewhat.

"P.E.," Lucy corrected with an amused expression, "You know the coach doesn't like it when you refer to his class as gym."

"He's an arrogant child that can't take any form of criticism without whining like a baby."

Lucy snorted, "Very true, I've witnessed it firsthand all thanks to you. Way to make my day more interesting."

"Wait, P.E.?" Kara repeated, "But—"

"Just 'cause I'm blind doesn't mean I'm exempt from a class credit required to graduate."

"I'm also her partner," Lucy smirked, "To help out if she needs it once in awhile," she sneered at Lena teasingly, "Which you refuse to accept anyway, so I don't see the point in my position."

"I don't need a crutch," she shot back, "And you didn't seem very enthusiastic to be partnered up with someone like me anyway, so I don't see why you'd force yourself to offer any help. Nor am I a damsel in distress."

"That you're not," she agreed, "But it's fine to have help once in awhile, it isn't the end of the world. Anyway, we can save the small talk for later 'cause you need to go to the nurse."

"I'm fine," Lena answered, albeit a bit coldly.

Lucy was amused, " _Oh_. I forgot. You're one of  _those_  people."

"'Those' people?" she repeated.

"That say everything is fine when they're clearly not fine. And you're profusely bleeding. Really irritating actually," came the snarky comment, "Your nose could be broken for all we know."

"Well, Lucy," she addressed with pursed lips, "I believe if it  _was_  broken, I'd be writhing on the floor right now."

There was a small pause, and Lena felt like she was being scrutinized by the girl before she responded with a voice that made her think she was smirking.

"Point taken," Lucy jabbed Kara in the ribs, who jolted with a comical squawk, "You're right. I didn't have a term for it, but she  _is_ prickly around the edges. You certainly have a way with words, Danvers."

Lena curled her lips, flashing her gritted teeth in the blonde's direction, " _Prickly_ , huh?"

Kara chuckled nervously, "Uh. Yeah."

"Guys, is everything okay— _oh_."

It took Lena a moment to pinpoint the identity of the voice from the recesses of her mind.

"Winslow Schott."

"Junior," he added, "Um, I go by Winn though. How'd you know..."

"T.S.A.," she explained through the bloody napkin on her face, "You were one of the sexist boys who wasn't with the complete idiots fooling around with the prototype."

"That was  _so_  cool by the way," he commended.

Mike bounced with glee, "Yeah, Winn showed me some photos, it was awesome."

Lena smiled, sincerely.

Meeting Kara's friends was actually off to a great start.

A deep voice caught up to their group, "Hey, guys," there was a pause, and the boy returned with a hostile tone, "Oh. It's  _you_."

Kara gave him a small growl and elbowed him.

"Ow!"

The blonde piped in before he could make any further comments, "This is—"

"Jimmy Olsen," she finished.

The boy folded his arms and gave a rough grunt, "My friends call me James."

Lena tilted her head at the implication, straightening her posture, forcing a tight smile, "Jimmy it is then."

A tenseness swallowed up the entire group, except Mike, who sometimes struggled with social cues and stood on the side the entire time with a beaming grin on his face and occasional nods.

Before the awkwardness could fester, another voice rang out.

"Hey! What are all you dorks doing over there?"

Kara sighed, grateful for the interruption, "I accidently kicked a ball at Lena and now her nose is bleeding. Everyone was just heading back, but I'm going to walk her to the main campus to the nurse."

James shot her an angry expression with a harsh whisper, "I'm not so sure that's a good idea."

He shared a look with Alex, who nodded once.

Kara ignored them, grasping Lena's arm, "Let's go before you bleed out into unconsciousness."

"You might as well take your shit too," Lucy suggested.

"Your guys's practice ends soon anyway. We'll tell Coach Jones," Mike added, who received unhappy glares from Alex and James.

Kara's older sister sighed, rubbing her forehead, "Just get back before curfew, Mom and Dad don't like it when you come home too late."

The blonde pouted, "But this is an  _emergency_ , I have a good excuse if curfew passes! Eliza and Jeremiah won't mind if they knew I was helping someone."

Lena's ears perked up, noting that Kara called her parents by their first names.

Alex frowned, "Whatever. Just..." her eyes darted to her little sister's new friend, "...be careful."

_Around her._

The Luthor fought the urge to scoff and left when Kara nudged her away from the group.

As she walked with Lena, she glanced over her shoulder to give her friends a reassuring smile and an 'okay' gesture with her fingers.

"Are you—"

"I'm fine. It stopped I think. I don't think we need to go to the nurse, it was just a nose bleed."

"Are you sure?"

Lena rolled her eyes, wiping around her face, "I'm not  _dying_ , Kara."

The blonde frowned at the sarcasm, "Oh, then I guess we won't if you don't want to, but I wasn't talking about that..." she elaborated, "The, uh...my friends—"

_Oh._

"Are interesting," Lena provided quickly, "I like Lucy and Winn."

The blonde winced, "Sorry about Alex and James—he and Lucy had a thing. So I had a thing with Mike. Then James and I actually had a thing, but Luce is still one of my best friends. It was kind of a mess. Anyway, I guess he's a bit vigilant sometimes, though he forgets I could easily kick his butt and that I don't need his protection. But yeah, it kind of escalated and got tense, they'll come around eventually."

"Can we just...sit down?" Lena asked, unwilling to think about how her heart stuttered at the idea of her new friend being with someone else, even if it was in the past.

"Yeah, sure," Kara dropped to lean against a large tree, pulling her friend down and patting a patch of grass next to her.

Lena promptly sat down and rubbed her nose gingerly, then faced the blonde, "I got all the blood off, right?"

She grinned, "Yeah," then a frown pulled her lips down, "Your sunglasses are cracked."

The Luthor shook her head with a chuckle and slipped the accessory off before looking back up, "I can always buy new ones."

She heard a sharp intake of breath from Kara.

Half of Lena's smile faltered and she rotated her head for peculiar sounds, "What? What is it?"

"Oh, uh, n-nothing. It's just that you...you have really pretty eyes."

The Luthor smirked, "Were you expecting cataracts or some horrid scar?"

Kara rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly, "Well, I'd be lying if I said I didn't."

"It's all right, the majority of blind people's eyes are still colored, there's nothing different other than the fact that our eyesight is bad or that the optical nerves are defective."

"That sounds like a bit of an oversimplification."

Lena waved her hand casually, "It gets the point across."

A moment passed, rain revealing itself from the sky and dripping, light, onto them through the leaves of the tree.

"They're green."

The Luthor tilted her head in confusion, "What?"

"Like, a really lovely green," she repeated almost breathily, "You should take your sunglasses off more often."

"I—thank you? Is that a good thing? Green that is?"

"Well," Kara chuckled, "I did say they're 'a really lovely green'," she paused, realization dawning on her, "Oh, do you not—"

"I lost my eyesight when I was really little, I don't recall much," Lena frowned, her shoulders sagging as her expression darkened.

_"This is an isolated incident, Lena," Lillian smiled sickeningly, caressing her child's face, "Do you understand?"_

_The girl flinched._

_"Yes, Mother."_

_"Good," the woman smirked, "You don't speak often anyway, but if anyone asks, you'll say what we rehearsed for Mother. Won't you, Dear?"_

_Lena trembled, "Y-Yes, of course. For you...Mother."_

Kara quickly caught onto the lie, but wisely decided not to push.

"I'm surprised the Luthors didn't send me back into foster care when it happened, but..." she shrugged.

Maybe she should not have been all too surprised, she was but a simple centerpiece for the Luthors in the midst of yet another scandal. Lena's job was to lift the burden's weight off of her new family's shoulders with a prim dress and proper table manners and fake politeness at galas. It was regardless of the corruption shadowing her around like she was prey, awaiting her first mistake so it could twist it into some amalgamation. In return she would receive a house under her head and food for an endless generation of kings. She believed that she owed them immensely for taking her in and providing her a place to stay, even if she could not really call it her home.

"You're adopted?" an empathetic smile slowly grew on Kara's face, "I am too."

"Well, it's an often forgotten fact in gossip articles attacking the Luthors. I was adopted when I was four actually, what about you?" she inquired, curious.

The blonde's inflection was somber, "Not too long ago. Maybe twelve, thirteen."

Lena's face morphed into one of aghast sympathy, "I'm sorry, that must've been—"

"Scary? Traumatizing?" Kara laughed, breathless and without mirth, "Yeah. It was."

Lena Luthor was never one to exhibit even the tiniest amount of physical affection, towards anyone, she could not even remember the last time she genuinely laughed or smiled until Kara Danvers came into the picture around seven months ago.

But the forlorn whisper tugged at Lena, made her heart skip a beat and her lungs breathless from the pain that radiated from the usually bright and optimistic voice; she could feel the dreary cloud hover over Kara with such potency that she could only imagine the all too familiar faraway longing in her heart, and it tingled her skin—it itched with the urge to reach out.

And Lena did, brushing her fingers along Kara's forearm, which she swore she could feel tremors in, travelled up to her wrist and then enveloping her hand in a firm grip.

She squeezed once, reassuringly, pressing the droplets of water into soft and supple skin from the drizzle, with half a smile painted on her face.

It was not much, and Lena worried as she was not accustomed to the idea of providing comfort, but the way Kara relaxed into the therapeutic gesture communicated otherwise. It was not an impressive display of intimacy, but it was enough for her, more than enough coming from Lena, knowing she had difficulties with relationships. The amount of tension that drained from Kara's body was so significant that she had the audacity to lean into Lena, resting a cheek comfortably on her nimble shoulder.

She could not help but stiffen, then she felt the jaw on her clench.

"Is this okay?" came the hoarse croak, clearly attempting to hold in tears.

_Yes._

She was an exception.

The answer came to Lena instantly, without hesitation, though the silence she emitted could be perceived as considerably reluctant, but Lena answered before Kara could pull away.

"Yeah. It's okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Constructive criticism appreciated.**


	2. Sophomore: Lovestain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Lena's feelings grow and manifest the more time passes, and Kara's shocking discovery alters the tone of their friendship._
> 
> **TRIGGER WARNING: ABLEISM, ABUSE, BULLYING, AND HOMOPHOBIA.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Notes: Find me on Tumblr at spoopercorp and on FF as Local-Asshole.**
> 
> **Chapter Theme: Lovestain by Jose Gonzalez.**
> 
> **Also, in the comics Mxyzptlk disguised himself as a man named Ben DeRoy, so there's some background information in case anyone gets confused with the dickhead named Ben.**

# Sophomore: Lovestain

* * *

Lena was really hoping to start the new year off on a positive note, not that freshman year was at all awful, other than the fact she kind of missed a certain blonde's presence during summer.

She was absent the first few days of school, much to Kara's dismay, when her mother insisted on attending a business meeting abroad a week prior and she was dragged off with them.

So she promised over the phone that she would come to Kara's first soccer game of the new year against Smallville. The blonde seemed absolutely ecstatic to play against her cousin's alma mater and Lena was enthused to be watching—or more listening to Winn's narrations.

The enthusiasm died in the field forty minutes into the game.

Lena sat in the front, the closest seat to Kara, who occasionally made small talk with her from her position when the ball was at the other end of the field—she was covering for Lucy as the goalkeeper since her J.R.O.T.C. duties called for her presence elsewhere.

Winn was next to her, thankfully blocking off contact with James on the other side, and he relayed all the events that transpired in the most ridiculous anchorman voice possible.

Then his voice fell, faltering with the gasps of the crowd.

Lena's attention was no longer trained on him once a loud bang of metal rattled her chest with its bass and a familiar voice screamed out in agony.

She bolted from her seat and dragged her feet through the grass, dewey and damp from the autumn drizzle a few hours earlier—she followed Kara's string of whimpers, straining her ears to listen through the high pitched whistle of the referee, who quickly flagged down a player.

"Kara?" she called, then more frantically, " _Kara_?"

The blonde let out a sob and Lena made to chase after the sound.

Then a pair of nimble arms pulled her back.

She jerked and shoved, "Get off of me!"

"Lena!" Winn shouted, releasing his grip around her waist before placing them firmly on her shoulders and patting them gently, "You're only going to get in the way, just leave it to them, the ambulance should be here soon—the paramedics can take care of her. She'll be fi—Lena?"

She felt herself hyperventilating, her worried lungs working overdrive to suck in and release an unhealthy amount of air and she could feel herself get lightheaded, tipping over.

"Hey, hey," Winn huffed, helping her back over to the benches, "You're..."

He trailed off with an enlightened 'oh', his shaky voice coming back with a realization that was directed to no one in particular, maybe more to himself, "You're having a panic attack."

In the next five or ten minutes, he managed to calm her down, so expertly it was almost suspicious.

Lena was grateful, most of the time she had to wait for it to ebb, try to figure out the situation by herself, cry until she was exhausted.

But Winn remained with her, even as they made their way to the hospital with the rest of the group to visit Kara hours later. By that time there was no evidence of her tears. She was briefly introduced to the Danvers, though she would have preferred it under better circumstances, but Eliza and Jeremiah were genuine with their kindness, and it baffled Lena how much more stiff Alex was compared.

Maybe it was just the fact that she was a Luthor that made the older Danvers act differently. Definitely.

"Dislocated shoulder and elbow," Winn explained with a grimace, "She also has a nasty bruise on her back from being slammed into the goal post by that dick. She's probably off the entire soccer season."

There was a hesitant pause.

"You okay, Lena? Kara should be out in a few, everyone else is waiting by the door."

"My panic attack. How'd you know what to do?" she inquired curiously, the tremors still slight even after the ordeal, but she insisted they leave it at that, it would go away—her priority was to see Kara.

Winn chuckled sheepishly, "I, uh...I had quite a few of them 'cause of my family, mostly my dad."

He cleared his throat, continuing, "Yeah, maybe you've heard of him. Toyman?"

Lena could not help her eyes widening a fraction at the revelation and she pushed her sunglasses further up to hide them, "I see."

"Yeah," he added with a small smile, "You're not the only one. I have a family with a psychopath too."

She chuckled at the humor they shared.

"But it was easier for me, you know, compared to you," Winn explained with a sincere grin, "Everyone knew me before my dad went insane, even if a few ostracized me, many people still had my back, but it was difficult to make new friends. Then, uh, your brother came along and suddenly my dad's crimes were laughable, forgotten. You though, no one was personally familiar with you."

"I came here without anyone beside me. That was enough for others to start making ignorant assumptions about people and things they didn't know," half of Lena's lips curled up into a smile, "I guess my road is going to be a bit tougher then."

He shrugged, "Definitely, but it gets better."

"Lena!" Kara called out brightly, "Sign my cast!"

Lena short circuited, a cross look flashing through her features.

She poked a finger into her friend's side.

"Eek! That tickles!" she complained with a giggle.

Lena growled, " _Sign_  your cast? You  _idiot_! Be careful next time!"

Lucy joined in, "Yeah, dumbass. I'm gone for  _one_  fucking game and your clumsy self decided to be reckless. This is worse than that time you got stuck in that tree trying to—"

Kara squeaked and slapped her intact hand over Lucy's lips, her eyes alternating between her and Lena, "She doesn't need to know that!"

"What, that you're a complete fool?" the Luthor commented.

"Yeah, you dork," Lucy added, muffled under the hand that pressed her mouth shut.

Kara gasped, retracting her arm, offended, "I am  _not_  a dork."

Lena and Lucy deadpanned.

" _Okay_ ," she admitted with a pout, "I  _am_ a dork."

"But no one needs to know that," she added hastily, "Stop making it look so bad, Luce."

"It  _is_  that bad," she countered, "You got quiche on my kitchen ceiling one time. You know, for someone who's such a food enthusiast, you really can't cook."

" _One_  time!" Kara repeated, muttering, "I feel personally attacked right now."

"Guys! Sorry I'm late!"

They all turned at the voice.

Mike enveloped Kara into a soft embrace, "I'm glad you're okay."

Then he bounded towards Lena and Winn to hug them as well, so strong he lifted them off the floor, "I haven't seen you guys in forever!"

"You too, Lucy! C'mere!"

"I don't think so, Hot Shot."

* * *

"Hey, what's up?"

Lena jumped and stabilized the textbooks in her arms before shutting her locker and resetting the directional lock.

"I don't believe I'm quite familiar with you," she grimaced through clenched teeth.

Of course she was, this asshole had been a nuisance to her for the past week about the autumn dance.

"Awww," the boy's tone was playfully disappointed, "You don't remember me? I'm the guy that asked you out to homecoming."

Lena bristled and finally acknowledged him, "Maxwell Lord."

"So you remember," he grinned.

"And I hope that  _you_  remember that I said  _no_.  _Repeatedly_ ," she reminded him, tightening her arms around her books, "Just 'cause your family's company is affiliated with mine doesn't give you an automatic yes from me for everything."

"You probably didn't hear me right—"

"Didn't hear you right?" she shook her head and scoffed, "You've been pestering me about it in my classes for a week and my statement has always been a simple no, and you don't seem to get that no means no. I'm not even leading you on."

"C'mon, Luthor," he protested.

" _No_ ," she repeated, her knuckles now whitened around the edges of her textbooks, "I need to get to class."

"Just give me a chance."

"I'm not obligated to give you anything. Besides, I'm not interested in," she cut herself off.

_Boys._

"You," she finished instead, her heart racing faster at the fact she almost outed herself due to her frustration.

Lena was exasperated, at this point she was really so irked that she considered pulling the lesbian card out.

Not that it would have driven him off anyway.

"I believe the lady said no, so stop harassing her," Lucy interrupted, joining them with a tight smile, "What's this, like, the hundredth time she rejected you? Take no for an answer and back off already."

The boy shook his head and left with a string of curses.

"Hey, love the new look," Lucy complimented.

"New look?"

"You've been wearing your sunglasses less."

"Oh, yeah, Kara thought I should, said my eyes were... _nice_."

There was a pause, not awkward, but as if her friend was pondering something.

Lena cleared her throat, "Thanks for that. Back there."

"No problem, I love telling off dicks," Lucy smirked, matching her stride with the Luthor's, "That's why I'm debate captain."

"I hope you don't think that everyone who doesn't share the same opinion as you is a dick," Lena smirked back, "And I didn't know you had a thing for debate actually."

"What," Lucy had a playful smile, "Don't look the part?"

The girl shook her head, "You sound too elementary and vulgar for debate captain."

"Well, I'll have you know that I've had a fascination with law for a while. It's something I can fall back on if things don't work out."

"If things don't work out?" Lena repeated, "Is your priority the military?"

"I'm joining the Army right after law school," she shrugged, "I'm a military brat, and I'd imagine it'd be pretty difficult to assimilate back to civilian life anyway, so I might as well stay in the Army from what I've heard."

Lucy chuckled, continuing, "We kind of digressed, I actually wanted you to join the debate team. We could really use some of your snappy wit. You, me, and Kara would have a ton of fun."

Lena grimaced, "That means I have to interact with other students, and I'm much too busy anyway."

Lucy rolled her eyes, "Okay, point taken, but I'm sure being the student gov president, a H.O.S.A. officer, and a T.S.A. officer means you have to socialize too."

"Not if there are other officers," Lena countered.

Lucy narrowed her eyes, "Fine. I guess your attitude means that you rejected Kara's offer for you to join Key Club and Op Smile too."

"I can't do service," Lena frowned, "Volunteering anywhere in Midvale is...everyone will give me dirty looks, and even little children learn not to mess with a Luthor."

"Then why're you in N.H.S.?" Lucy inquired, "They require service hours. And I'm sure tutoring idiots like Max isn't very..."

"Luckily I was able to convince an officer that had a huge crush on Max to tutor him instead."

"And lucky I have physics with you, I swear that entitled asswipe will just swoop in during the middle of class and call you out. He's probably after  _me_  now."

"I wouldn't be surprised. He doesn't like being told no."

"I know the feeling of being stalked by one of  _those_  guys. There's this asshat after Kara and she's politely told him no, but the fact that just one girl won't consider it doesn't sit well with the pissbaby," she shrugged, "Guess it tarnishes his womanizing record."

"That's..." Lena bit her lip, channeling her frustration into the tips of her fingers, pressing them impossibly tighter into the hardcover textbooks she thought they would snap.

"Disturbing?" Lucy suggested with a nod, "Yeah. James cockblocked him the other day, I swore Ben was going to swing at him. You know that guy, right? He has that impossible-to-pronounce surname that looks like someone smashed a keyboard. I think it was Mxy—something."

"I don't believe I've heard of him."

"The teachers say his first and middle name for roll call: Ben DeRoy."

"That sounds a little more familiar, but James is okay though, right?" Lena asked.

The girl gave her a baffled look, "James is fine—he's a big guy  _and_ the football captain, he won't get swayed by a puny ass grunt like Ben. I'm surprised you care enough to ask, after the way James treated you, though I can't really say the same for him to you, but he  _is_  warming up a bit."

Lena shrugged, "Kara's nice, she cares about me getting along with all of you, so..."

Lucy smirked, "She's nice to everyone, but, uh," she furrowed her brows, "To be honest, it's kind of weird to see her associating with you—or, um—that didn't come out quite right."

"It's fine, I get it," she sulked, "I'm used to it—part of the contract of being adopted into the Luthor family."

"No, no," Lucy rushed in, "I mean, after Kara's birth parents got blasted in the Capitol, she was a little... _out of it_  when I first met her."

Lena's heart stopped in her chest and she did a double take, "Her—what..."

She trailed off as the brunt of the information soaked in.

Lucy seemed to panic for a second, "Shit, she...she didn't tell you? You didn't hear about it?"

The Luthor pursed her lips, eyes narrowed, "No. I-I didn't."

"They...her mom was a judge and her dad was a lawyer, they worked against Lex's school shooting case. He's had a vendetta on them since then apparently."

Lena chuckled bitterly, running her fingers through her hair to undo the knots as she sighed heavily, "I can understand even more why Kara's older sister isn't a huge fan of mine, nor James."

"Hey," Lucy whispered, patting a comforting hand on the girl's shoulder, "Don't beat yourself over it. You shouldn't feel guilty for something you didn't do."

"That's it," Lena grit her teeth, "I didn't do anything. I could've prevented it."

"Maybe," Lucy replied, patting her on the back, "But you don't know that."

She shook her head, "Yeah."

The Luthor steeled herself as they neared the class, her expression a blank mask of emotionlessness before entering the room.

* * *

It was late into autumn, the leaves wilting into a spectrum of crisp browns, reds, oranges, yellows...sharply tugged off their branches by the cold wind.

The time around Thanksgiving was always when Lena felt most ungrateful—the blues, greens, and purples on her arms, legs, and torso more prevalent.

But recently, ever since Lionel passed away, ever since Lex was sent to prison, ever since she discovered her daughter was not quite interested in men, her mindset was colder and the anger at her precious boy's incarceration was too much to bear—she was messier, less restricted in punishing Lena, regardless of how trivial the matter was.

It liberated her of the pain of losing the golden boy, and not having Lionel there to awkwardly comfort her furthered her descent into apathy.

As Lillian fell day by day, so did Lena, with every injury that appeared on her skin.

She learned, fast, even if the more violent occurrences were rare to come by; her mother had a tendency to go for the chest, the ribs, the stomach, so she would cover the woman's favorite spots with her arms and legs in a fetal position.

It was usually more erratic, most of the time Lillian's confrontations were with words instead of fists, other than that Lena was left to her own devices. If she decided to go the physical route, it usually made up for the times she decided not to hit her daughter.

Today was different though, maybe a little rougher with the almost hateful tasting words.

 _"Unbelievable. You're blind_ and  _a dyke."_

'Tough love', Lillian had called it, a euphemism Lena utilized to describe what her mother was doing to her. It was to convince herself that, yes, she loved her daughter, just in her own twisted way.

She continued to refer to the happenings with the same term even after learning several words that were more accurate in defining her...predicament: debauchery, injustice, manipulation...

Abuse.

A sadist indulging in another being's pain.

No, no, no. Wrong. All wrong.

It was love. The tougher, the better. The more violent her mother's strikes, the more love her mother held for her.

That was how it was for as long as Lena could remember, even if she subconsciously recognized it for what it actually was.

But she was too desperate, too starved for affection to care, to the point she was knowingly and willfully ignoring her inner turmoil—she was pulling at any string, at any opportunity, convincing herself that Lillian had a unique form of 'affection', of 'care', of 'motherhood' in their conflicts.

Sometimes it left her wondering, reeling back at how poignant her situation was.

_Why adopt me in the first place if you're going to just treat me like a worthless piece of shit?_

But those moments of clarity seemed to only hurt her more, and then she thought that she would really prefer a dark hand-shaped bruise on her arm than think about  _that_  ever again.

It was a part of a routine in her life, daily, most were more calm than others and some were more wild than others. It all depended on Lillian's volatile mood swings.

Lena knew it was bad when her mother went for the face; she would always avoid that part of her daughter, or used to, because she would not risk being charged for child abuse.

But today, Lena knew it was really bad when she spent the majority of her school day sobbing quietly in the restroom.

Lena knew it would only worsen if her mother received a call that she had been absent for her classes, she knew what would come, but she could not help herself—the comfort of the isolation in a stall was too tempting to pass up.

Lena could regret her decision later, when she would come home to be welcomed with the potential of new bruises, all bigger, more painful, increasing in number because she was too weak to go to class looking like such a wreck.

This time it was a split lip, swollen and tender, but the bleeding stopped. This time it was bruised knees when she fell to the floor. This time it was a handprint or two slapped onto her arms and she swore she could still feel the sting. This time it was a dark spot on her cheek that made the bone under sore and her flesh throb with every painful movement of her jaw. This time it was a nasty bruise spanning the left side of her chest, making her skin crawl with every brush and graze of the fabric she wore.

Lena sucked in the occasional painful breath, the intake sudden and sharp with every achy and uncontrolled sob.

She should have expected Kara to arrive, it was only a matter of time for her to see how embarrassingly pathetic the usually controlled Luthor was sitting in the stalls and breaking down.

She was too absorbed in trying to calm herself down that she did not hear the bathroom door click open then shut, as well as the swinging metal of her stall.

"Lena," Kara whispered, a little shocked and maybe a little angry.

She gasped, her long hair acting as a curtain to hide her face, "I-I'm fi— _ngh_!"

She winced, feeling her expanding lungs stinging her ribs and the bruise on her cheek throb. Lena cradled her chest and flinched further into the stall, cornered.

"Hey, hey," Kara placed a tentative hand on her friend's knee, "It's okay, I'm here."

Lena visibly relaxed, her shoulders dropping, but the tension was still there. She ran her hand through her dark locks, quickly alarmed by the gasp that escaped Kara.

"Wh-Who did that to you?" she demanded, her voice raising an octave.

Her eyes softened when her friend twitched at the amplitude and she quickly lowered it into a contained growl.

"Was it those boys from last year?"

"N-No, I—no. She didn't mean to," she rushed out, "M-Mother, she was upset, she needed an outlet again, I helped her..."

Kara seemed to be ignoring the rest of her explanation and burst out to interrupt her, "Your  _mom_? She didn't  _mean_ to?  _Again_? What part of this is  _helping_?"

She took a deep breath and grasped Lena's hand, gently rubbed her thumb in circles to relieve the tension, "You don't have to talk about it, but if you need anything I'm always here."

The Luthor opened her mouth, then shut it, then it parted again as she contemplated.

There was a slight tremble to her voice, "Mother, sh-she..." she choked on her words for a second, "She found out."

There was a pause, hiccuped breaths the only thing either of them heard.

"She found out," Lena repeated—chanted—steadier though more disturbed, her eyes widening as it really dawned upon her.

Kara frowned, squeezing the shaking hand in her palm to reassure her, "Found out what?"

The rush of sentences came back, chopped up and stitched back in a confusing order, varying in speed, spontaneous in pause, "I, in the summer, during...I," she shook her head, "I brought someone—a girl—home, while she was gone. Then I did it again this week. I thought—I didn't think she'd find out," a hoarse breath cracked her throat, "I didn't think she'd be so  _mad_. I'm—I'm a lesbian, not a..." she shuddered, "...not all those words she screamed at me..."

Kara's fingers twitched against Lena's hand, her brows furrowed in anger, and another white hot emotion she could not pinpoint that settled into the pit of her stomach.

She had no second thoughts, caressing her friend's arms before slowly approaching her with a warm embrace and rubbed her back in soothing circles.

Lena stiffened, and for a second Kara thought she made a mistake and internally cursed herself for it, before the body relaxed into her arms.

She leaned into Kara for solace, the wracking sobs ceasing until only tears dampened the strong shoulders she laid her head on.

Kara pulled back, reluctant to let go as she brought a hand up, her thumb swiping the wetness from Lena's baggy, restless eyes.

She leaned into the touch.

Kara smiled, "There's nothing wrong with you. If it's of any consolation," she cleared her throat, " _I_ like you just the way you are."

Lena scoffed, rolling her reddened eyes, "You like everybody."

Kara pouted, "But only the coolest people are my closest friends."

The Luthor chuckled softly, wiping the tears from her face, "Yeah. Sure."

The blonde rolled her eyes this time, tugging at her friend's hand, "C'mon, I think next period started five minutes ago, I'll walk you if you want some company."

Lena tilted her head, "You left in the middle of your class?"

"To check up on you. Yeah," she grinned.

"I'm not worth abandoning classes for," she frowned.

" _Please_ ," Kara stuck her tongue out, "I hate enviro anyway."

"No you don't," she countered weakly, "You love that class."

"Missing a little bit of one lecture won't guarantee my failure on the A.P. test. Besides, it's nothing compared to you," Kara mumbled, "C'mon, or else I'm leaving without you."

Lena gave a tiny smile, "Okay..."

"What's your class? You have A.P. chem, right? Or was it A.P. physics?"

"A.P. Euro actually."

"Ew," Kara stuck her tongue out as she led her friend from the bathroom, "I took A.P.U.S.H. instead."

Lena made a face, her lips loosening into a small smile, "U.S. history is single-handedly the most boring subject in existence."

* * *

She should have expected for things to only escalate from there.

She was a Luthor after all, good things never lasted for her—life was never merciful for Luthors, even if Lena was only sixteen.

The future never looked bright for her, at any point, so she came to anticipate the bad.

It was not like she had a terrible problem with others badmouthing her, she was used to it, but the majority of the time it was due to her family—her surname, that was always the talk about her, not...

"Did you hear Luthor's a  _dyke_?"

Lena froze and shook her head. She knew she felt like she was being scrutinized closer, she could feel the glares, the attention from others lengthen with contempt and disgust.

No, certainly she was mistaken, she must not have heard that right.

She rushed off before the student could utter another obnoxious comment, but the gossip throughout the hallways confirmed her one of her worst fears.

"Lena Luthor's a  _lesbian_."

"What a faggot."

"She's fucking gay too, gross."

She felt the control being ripped from her hands, her secret unwillingly disclosed and shared among students in her high school. She had no choice even if it was hers to divulge, and soon it would spread to the small town.

To her mother.

If the fact that the entire population of Midvale knew she was a lesbian reached Lillian Luthor, Lena would be hospitalized for an entire month for embarrassing the family name, chasing off prospective investors all because the Luthor girl was a  _dyke_.

Lena's entire body was taught, as if ready to snap at any given moment.

She was helpless against the strings of insults hurled directly at her or casually mumbled to others. She could not do anything about it.

For a moment, Lena's mind played around with the thought that Kara betrayed her, ran away and immediately told the first person she bumped into that her new friend was a lesbian. After all, she was a blabber mouth, she could not stop rambling to save her life.

Lena sighed.

No, Kara would never do that to her, but if she did, then the Luthor was sorely wrong about entertaining the idea of actual friendship without alternative motives.

She could feel the hate boiling inside her, at everyone for spreading rumors about her engaging in promiscuous activities and sodomizing other girls, at Lionel for being passive and neglectful of her, at Lillian for being such a bitch and worst excuse of a mother, at Lex for going insane and murdering hundreds in cold blood.

Lena hated herself for letting all of this happen, she should have been more careful, she should have kept her guard up, not let her walls thaw into puddles whenever Kara Danvers showed up with those gorgeous blue eyes and those dorky glasses perched on the bridge of her nose—the way the frames occasionally slid down whenever she bashfully looked to the floor.

Lena could not stop, she could feel herself closing off, feel herself retreating back into her shell, now ten times more durable. No, she would not let anyone else in, it was a mistake, she would not risk loosening up and letting anything slip that could be utilized against her.

She fortified her walls, prepared for the worst day, or week, that she would go through in her entire life, but she did not know when it would start. She could go home and Lillian would ignore her. Or she could go home to Lillian waiting at the door with a belt in her palm, hands gripping the sharp leather so hard her fingers turned white, all complemented with a furious gleam in her otherwise dead eyes.

The next few days after Lena's confession in the bathroom was relatively mundane, as in the comments and treatment at school remained stable, but the fear in the back of her mind was still there—Lillian Luthor was by no means a stable woman, she could be biding her time, waiting for the perfect moment, waiting for Lena to be at her most vulnerable.

It seemed Kara noticed how reclusive she became, as well as Lucy and Winn.

And maybe the Luthor herself noticed as well, because the days at school seemed a little darker, probably due to the fact she had not received her daily dose of Kara Danvers's sunshine.

Lena felt guilty, an overwhelming amount of it when she heard the flash of hurt behind Lucy's voice when she pulled away, when she heard the palpable sadness that dragged Kara's speech.

She was blatantly ignoring the two, and she would not blame them if they never wanted to talk to her again. Maybe it was easier that way, and maybe that explained why she was so frustrated when Lucy mumbled something sympathetic in their physics class.

_"What you're going through, it's awful, absolutely horrible. I get why you're doing this, the pushing away thing," she explained softly, "I've seen it, Kara's seen it. I want you to know that we both understand, and Winn too. Mike is a little bit more difficult to convince. We're your friends, we care about you, whether you believe it or not, so that's why we're going to keep our distance until...well, until you say otherwise. I'm going to talk to Kara about it, she can be a bit stubborn, but she cares about you enough to give you space. Just know that we're here if you need anything."_

Lena cursed herself that she was too petrified by the raw emotions she was feeling to respond with a proper thanks last week, so she hoped that the slight nod of her head exhibited enough gratitude at the time of her mostly unresponsive stupor.

It was surreal.

Two weeks into the revelation at school, she came home to her mother tapping her foot impatiently in front of her.

Lena gulped, thankful that her paranoia provided somewhat of a cushion for the utter terror she was experiencing.

Lillian's eyes narrowed, her glare unrelenting until she pivoted sharply.

Lena heaved a deep breath for what was to come and shut the entrance to join her mother in the grand living room, carefully sitting on the couch across from her.

"What the hell did you do?"

She winced at the coldness of the accusation, panicking when Lillian rose from her seat, the leather cushions giving a small squeak.

Lena snapped her head away, dipped it down to where her fidgeting hands rested over her lap.

She felt sweat dripping from her temples as a soft whisper cracked from her throat, "I don't—what are you talking about?"

She knew well what Lillian meant, but she did not specify, so it was better to play it safe, to play it dumb.

It was a mistake.

The next thing Lena felt were knuckles slamming into her cheekbone as her mother backhanded her to the floor.

She fought the urge to scramble away and cower in the corner—it would only make it worse, but she failed to bite back the cry of pain.

Lillian snarled, "I thought we discussed your..." she waved a hand, "...tendencies."

Lena whimpered, shrinking under her mother's disgusted tone.

"It—they're just rumors, they're not..." she sobbed, "...they're not true. I swear."

"You can't play dumb with me anymore, I know  _what_  you are," she growled, striking her daughter again, "A  _dyke_ , a  _disgrace_ , a  _disappointment_. You just don't learn, do you?" she scoffed, "Leave. I don't care what you do, where you go, I just don't want to look at you right now."

"But, I—"

"And if I hear another word about a similar incident..." Lillian interrupted with a warning, purposely leaving her threat unfinished.

Lena nodded her head, she knew what would happen, she knew very well, "Yes, Mother. I won't let it happen again."

"Get out."

* * *

At this point she was surprised she was not disowned and thrown out on the streets.

She knew her mother wanted to avoid as many controversies as possible, and a scandal involving the woman kicking out her own daughter would not bode well for the investors.

Lena gingerly prodded at her eye, could feel how the skin raised when it swelled, then she placed her ice bag over it again.

Lena sighed heavily, shaking her head as she browsed through the grocery store with an intense frown. It was seven in the evening, Midvale was small and it usually tucked in by six, so at least there were not many shoppers around, she did not know if she could take all the gossip about her situation at the moment.

She turned into the cereal section, or at least that was what she thought.

Lena felt around the shelves, skimming her fingers across an array of boxes, retrieving one to shake, hearing the familiar sound of small flakes jumping about.

_Yep, cereal._

She placed the product into the cart.

She was not particularly picky on what sugary breakfast goodies she wanted to consume, the majority of the time she randomly picked out a box; she would choose which shelf, run a hand over the products until she decided to stop and selected that one.

To avoid returning to the grocery store, Lena reached for another box, but quickly pulled away when her fingers came into contact with another hand.

"Sorry," she apologized, preparing herself to receive an earful from a particularly vexed shopper.

"Lena?"

She tilted her head in shock, "Oh, Kara."

She could hear the giddiness in the blonde's voice.

"I wasn't expecting to see you here, but I'm sure glad that I did run into you," she beamed, "How've you...been..."

Her sentence faltered.

Lena ducked her head, a hoarse and humorless chuckle leaking from her lips, "Do I look that bad?"

"Ummm..."

"I'm taking that as a yes."

"What happened?" Kara asked, her tone soft.

Lena paused, adjusted her ice pack, brows furrowing, "You know what happened."

She nearly flinched when a warm hand placed itself on hers.

"You know what'll cheer you up?"

The Luthor shrugged.

"Food, it always makes me feel better," Kara hummed in her ear, "We can make dinner at my house."

Lena shivered at the breath that tickled her neck, "I'm not sure that's a good idea. For one, you can't cook.

Kara pouted, placing her hands on her hips in protest, "I  _can_  cook."

"But you don't do it  _well_ ," Lena countered, "I've heard plenty of horror stories from Lucy."

"That traitor," the blonde muttered.

"Don't worry," the Luthor chuckled, "That's not my biggest concern. Your family—"

"My sister's gone to a sleepover with her friend Maggie," Kara explained, unable to contain the glee in her voice, "My parents will be home late, and they wouldn't mind me having a friend over anyway. It's been kind of lonely and I've..." a pause, "I've missed you. We haven't hung out in a while, or even talked. Barely."

"I'm sorry," Lena murmured, shrugging, "I didn't mean to close off like this. Things have been...a little hectic."

"A  _little_?" Kara repeated, the anger in her voice evident as she folded her arms, "You...you have a  _black eye_."

The Luthor raised her bag of ice onto the injury, grimacing, "It's not that bad. The swelling went down."

The blonde's arms tightened around her own torso, her voice bitter and gruff, "Was the bathroom incident 'not that bad' either?"

Lena's lips pull down.

"I'm sorry," Kara apologized, placing a hand on her friend's arm, "I shouldn't have snapped," she moved in for a hug, "I'm just glad you're here right now."

Lena reciprocated the embrace, pressing a cheek into a strong shoulder.

"Me too."

"Does that mean we can hang out?" she inquired, hopeful.

The Luthor grinned, "Under one condition."

"And that is?" she urged.

"I'm deciding what meal we're cooking, preferably something you'll likely not get stuck on the ceiling."

Kara sputtered, "Th-that...that was  _one_  time!"

"Most people don't have to scrub quiche from their ceiling, so that's one time too many."

"So what meal do you suggest that's 'Kara-proof'?" she grumbled.

"How do you feel about kale?"

"What's  _kale_?" she repeated with a high-pitched lilt.

"A vegetable," Lena smirked, "It's a leaf cabbage."

The blonde nodded enthusiastically, "I like cabbage. I'm more of a donut or pizza or potstickers person, but I like cabbage."

"Explains why you've never heard of kale. I hope you don't mind eating salad and quinoa for dinner instead of your usual."

"Quinoa?"

"Oh my God, do you live under a rock?"

"I don't usually go to the greens section when I'm grocery shopping exactly..."

"Hopefully I can change your eating habits to something more healthy and substantial."

She straightened her posture when there was no reply.

Then, "Lena?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"Why do you have  _Raisin Bran_  in your cart?"

* * *

Kara's abode was comfy and...homey, that was the first word that Lena could really describe it—the atmosphere felt lovelier and warmer, not cold and bitter like the Luthor manor. The Danvers's house was dramatically smaller than the mansion Lena was used to living in, and it did not take long for her to map out the small kitchen.

" _Kara_ ," she called out as she heard the rustling of a bag filled with something grounded finely next to her, "What are you doing?"

"Uh. Sugar?"

"I believe the recipe says  _one teaspoon_  of sugar, what—what the  _hell_  are you doing? It sounds like you're going to empty a lot more than the recipe in there."

The blonde tilted her head, "I'm just adding a tad more sweetness."

"A  _tad_  more?" Lena repeated in disbelief.

No way, this was Kara Danvers,  _her_  'tad' more did not coincide with an average person's definition of a 'tad' more.

She snatched the measuring device from her friend's hand, feeling around it to process the size, "With a half  _cup_  of sugar? For a  _salad_?"

"Uh. Yeah? And that's actually a whole cup, excuse you. Looks like the dish could really need it. It's too..." she crinkled her brows, "... _green_."

The Luthor shook her head and walked back, dumped the sugary contents back into its original container, "You know, they're just vegetables, not everything green is out to kill you."

"But  _Lena_..." Kara whined, drawing out her friend's name in the complaint, "Why not? You're so  _cruel_  and  _evil_!"

Lena smirked and crossed her arms, raising her brows playfully, "Well, sometimes my Luthor genes just shine through."

Kara forced a small chortle at the joke, and suddenly Lena remembered what her brother had done to her family, and she quickly gulped down the rest of her banter regarding her surname.

"S-Sorry, that's a bit of a...sore topic. I shouldn't have."

"You know I don't think you're like them, right?" Kara asked softly.

Lena frowned, "Yeah. Yeah..."

"You don't sound too convinced," the blonde whispered.

"Well," she chuckled dryly, "Maybe I'm not."

"Why?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Lena started, "I was raised by them, taught by them; maybe I contracted that signature psychopathic gene like them. It's just a waiting game. Maybe I'm a ticking time bomb, eventually I'll snap."

"You won't," Kara chirped, confident and sure.

Lena was startled by how much conviction there was, how much the blonde believed in her.

"You have too much faith in me."

"Maybe 'cause you deserve it."

The Luthor flushed, agitated with the bubbly feeling in her chest. She shook her head, "That's sweet of you, Kara," then she smirked as she carried the bag of sugar to the food closet to feel around for an empty space to store it away, "You're so tooth-rottingly sweet that I don't think you should have any more sugar."

Kara let out a displeased grunt, "Fine."

"I'll make the dressing," Lena stated, "Do you mind preparing the rest of the ingredients?"

"I already gathered the dried cranberries and sunflower seeds, I just need to dice the tomatoes and cut the kale."

"Oh, and don't forget to stir the quinoa."

The blonde released a panicked screech, rushing towards the stove and turning on the vent to suck out the steam.

"You forgot," Lena stated with amusement, mixing the salad together.

"I did  _not_."

"Sure you didn't."

"' _Sure you didn't_ '," Kara repeated in a mocking tone, making a face as she stuck her tongue out.

"You're such a dork," Lena chuckled, "Don't be so childish."

The blonde bumped her hip into her friend's, causing the latter to spill over a few kale leaves out of the salad.

"Stop making this so difficult, I can feel myself getting dirtier the more you mess around."

"Stop being such a meanie," Kara teasingly retorted, "Maybe you'd prevent a mess of yourself if you rolled up your sleeves to cook, they're all dirty, and that's really counterintuitive considering you put on an apron."

She placed a hand on the girl's wrist and made to slide it up.

Alarms went off in Lena's head and she snapped her arm away, "N-no. No, don't. I—"

Kara took a harsh intake of breath, "Who—your arm—who did that?"

The Luthor hastily pulled her sleeves down, irritated, "You already know who."

Her friend backpedaled at the frustrated bark.

"I'm sorry," they both apologized.

Lena frowned, "Can we just...not talk about this right now? We can worry about it later."

_Later meaning an indefinite amount of time._

"Later," Kara repeated, her tone bordering on distressed and disappointed, "Right. Okay..."

Lena crinkled her nose, a slight charred smell invading her nostrils, "You're forgetting to stir the quinoa again."

"You've got to be kidding!"

* * *

"I haven't heard a word uttered from you since we started eating," Lena wondered unsteadily, crossing her legs as she stiffened in her friend's couch, the background noise from the television suddenly even more quiet as her attention diverted.

"I'll be honest, I'm definitely  _not_ a fan of kale," Kara explained, her voice heavy with disgust and the urge to vomit as she placed her bowl back on the coffee table.

She gagged to further solidify her argument.

"It's good for you."

"But I don't like it," Kara whined.

"Oh don't be such a baby."

" _Fine_ ," the blonde huffed.

Lena heard Kara sulk into her cushions and play with her food, and she herself returned to devouring hers cleanly with a manner of grace and poise. Though her speed of consumption, however spotless, did alarm her friend.

"When was the last time you've eaten?" Kara asked.

Lena was hesitant to fully answer the question, "It's been a whi—" she cut herself off when she felt the couch cushions puff up at Kara's movement, "What are you doing?"

"Uh...nothing?" the blonde squeaked.

Lena's ears perked up at a rustling noise of plastic.

"Kara Danvers, if you're doing what I think you're doing..." a dramatic pause, "...you better not be doing it."

"A-And what is it you think I'm, uh, doing?" she stuttered.

Lena narrowed her eyes, shifting her head in the direction of her friend's voice, beckoning her over with a finger.

"Don't you dare throw your food into the trash. You're not really sneaky."

"I can be sneaky!" Kara protested, slumping onto her seat and setting her bowl down the coffee table again.

"Please, you can't even fool a blind girl."

"You have, like, an I.Q. score of over two-hundred or something! That's hardly a good argument," she grumbled.

"That's not a reliable measurement of intelligence. And you're probably just as smart," Lena paused, "But maybe not enough to be able to silently toss your food away."

"' _Maybe not enough to toss your food away_ ,'" Kara mocked, shoving a bunch of salad into her mouth until her cheeks were full and tears were prickling her eyes at how  _awful_  it was.

She shuddered at the taste, " _Ugh_..."

Lena rolled her eyes, "Have you tried the quinoa?"

"No, but I imagine it's just as bad."

"Not as bad as your cooking."

"You're never going to let that go, are you?"

"Nope."

"Hmph," Kara frowned.

There was a clink of metal as her silverware made contact with the bowl, a loud swallow followed.

"So?"

"It's..." Kara's tone brightened as she shoved another bite into her mouth, "I like the quinoa."

"Good, now eat them with the kale."

"How did you—" Kara threw her hands in the air.

"I have a sixth sense," Lena teased.

"I think you know me too well," the blonde pouted.

"Just eat your kale."

She stuck her tongue out, "Okay,  _Mom_ ," she took another spoon of quinoa into her lips, speaking through a good mouthful, "But I'm only eating this stuff 'cause I love you."

Lena could not help but tense at the phrase of endearment. She knew other people used it casually, in an affectionate and caring way, but...

She shook her head, in the Luthor family, that phrase was utilized solely for personal gain—it was detached of any emotion, it was for manipulation, for abuse, it was an excuse for disrespect.

She came to despise it, to associate it with something negative, completely void of positivity.

Perhaps because it often spilled from the lips of the cold and heartless Lillian Luthor.

Lena shuddered.

But the phrase sounded so  _loving_ , like it should be, coming from Kara.

She came to the conclusion that people were shallow, at least the snobby rich people at her family's company galas were. They all desired more money, unlimited wealth, material things, the like. But she realized most humans desired— _craved_ —love from her experiences with, well,  _normal_ people.

Not Lena though, she knew to keep her expectations low, next to nothing, because that was all she would get being who she was; a Luthor menace to others and not enough of a Luthor for her family.

Acceptance and validation was as far as Lena would go with her wants, and even that was unrealistic. So genuine love, whether romantic or platonic, was on another plane of existence.

But maybe, acceptance was not too far in another realm—Lena believed that Kara accepted her for who she was, or maybe she was close to it, but that notion alone made her ecstatic.

Happiness was a rarity in her life, but now that she befriended Kara Danvers, it seemed to be more common.

And now Lena's friend claimed she loved her, above all the impossibilities that ran through her own brain; she knew it was platonic, much to her subconscious disappointment.

But she had never let that phrase be uttered by her own tongue, and she was in no way ready to say it back, because that was how it was, right? Conversations were an exchange, a trade. Kara shared her love, and it was only fair for the Luthor to share it back.

But Lena was not ready, and she did not think she ever would be able to tell someone she loved them so sincerely as her dearest friend did.

Even if she was ready, she would not let a peep out of her mouth. Lena knew the feelings she harbored for the blonde were deeper than the connection they had now, and forcing herself to say an 'I love you' while meaning it non-platonically felt wrong to her, and unfair to Kara—her best friend; if things got awkward, and it seemed inevitable, then she risked losing Lucy's, Mike's, and Winn's friendships as well.

"Lena?"

She startled from her thoughts, "Yes?"

"Are you okay? You seemed like you blanked out there for a few seconds. What's on your mind?"

"Oh, uh," she leaned back into the couch, tucking herself into the corner and making herself as small as possible, "Nothing. It's nothing."

Her feelings were gradually becoming much too overwhelming, she could feel the burden weighing down on her shoulders, increasing the pounding in her heart to the point she thought it would break her ribs and beat out of her chest—show Kara the fullest extent of her pathetic feelings.

The blonde huffed, gave her a look.

Lena winced at the puff of breath. It was only fair to at least divulge to her, and admittedly, she knew real friendship did not work like business deals nor transactions—but that was the entirety of her life since her adoption into the Luthor family; there was no room for anything other than coldness, heartlessness, ruthlessness... Every person for themselves. That was what guaranteed ultimate success, as well as knowledge—intellect was a requirement for the Luthors.

They were a cruel, Machiavellian family. And maybe, sure, their false kindness and manners skyrocketed their success.

But that was not  _success_ , not to Lena; she did not care for money. A part of her wanted to live comfortably and quietly, away from scrutinizing gossip judging her with preconceived notions hundreds of miles away. Success was for people to stop whispering about Lena, that was all. Of course, she wanted them to stop giving her dirty looks as well, but adding that onto the already huge request of people to stop badmouthing her was already too much to ask for.

Lena frowned, her voice but a murmur, "Um, just thinking about my family is all."

Kara's lips pulled down, her expression matching her friend's, "Oh."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"Do you want to talk about them?" she asked thoughtfully, "I mean, with me? You know you can talk to me, right, Lena?"

The Luthor nodded once, but she knew it was not sufficient, not convincing enough judging from the hurtful intake of breath.

Lena ignored it all, fidgeting with her dirtied long sleeves as she slightly pushed them up, pressing on her bruise, hoping the dull pain would distract her.

She did not register that Kara scooted next to her until their arms brushed.

The blonde grabbed a hold of her friend's wrist, gentle enough not to inflict pain, but firm enough to stop her from pressing against her bruise, and maybe the many more that were hidden underneath the long fabric.

Lena flinched from the contact, causing Kara to pull away.

"I'm sorry, did I hurt—"

"No, you didn't. It's fine," the Luthor assured, "I'm just not used to..." she gestured vaguely between them, at their close proximity, "...yeah..."

Not that Lena did not enjoy being near her, she did, but it was still a foreign concept—people talking to her like she was valued, like she was worth something, like she was a person.

Kara nodded, repeated the word gingerly, "Yeah."

Then she sighed, her confusion evident, "Why don't you report your mom to the authorities?"

Lena clenched her hands into fists on her lap, "I...it's complicated."

"I can't imagine."

Lena was startled at the amount of bitterness laced in Kara's tone.

"Sorry," she apologized, "I just..."

"I know. I get it," Lena supplied, somewhat curtly.

Which, not really. She did not completely understand the way Kara was so protective and so caring towards her of all people.

Lena was irked, the blonde knew very well what would happen if she filed a case against her own mother, and the odds were not in her favor. Even if she won, the outcome would be her being placed back into a foster home—she'd become an orphan  _again_ , and people almost never adopted teenagers, so once she would hit eighteen she would be on her own, with barely enough money to provide for herself.

Lena felt ashamed and guilty, at how far from understanding she was with her closest friend, and at the Luthors for destroying said friend's birth family.

"She loves me," she gulped weakly, timidly, unsure.

_It's just a complex mother-daughter relationship._

"Lena—" Kara started.

There was so much doubt in her friend's delicate voice that it was not difficult to deduce that she would finish the sentence with something akin to 'your mom doesn't seem like she loves you'.

She was not ready to face the truth, even if she already knew, deep down. She did not need a belittling euphemism spat in her face.

So Lena interrupted Kara, abruptly rising from the couch, angry— _so_   _angry_ —as she repeated her statement, "She loves me!"

But there was still the underlying tinge of uncertainty even with the amount of vigor forced into it. It was more to convince herself than the girl standing in front of her, and they both knew that.

Kara shook her head, and for a moment she was so grateful that her friend was unable to see that action.

"She's my  _mother_ , she loves me," Lena argued weakly, her eyes stinging from unshed tears, her voice wavering from the absolute  _lie_ that scalded her tongue, "Sh-she...she  _has_ to love me."

"Well, she sure has a twisted way of showing it," Kara snorted, upset at the wildly desperate look in her friend's eyes for motherly love—so much denial. Fury settled itself into her stomach at the thought of Lillian depriving her own daughter of that.

"I-I'm sorry, that was rude, I..." she trailed off, blue eyes now downcast.

Lena could hear it, the 'your mom doesn't love you' still waiting to be unleashed from her friend's lungs.

Kara's fingers brushed raven locks, palms grazing pale skin. Lena's jaw muscles underneath her hand clenched to the point they trembled. Then the few hot tears spilled over.

"Hey—"

Lena belatedly recoiled from the touch, leaning away as she gathered her things and fumbled around, her scoffing tone a far cry from placid, "I need to go, Mother's waiting for me."

No.

She knew that was a lie too, and it seared her lips. Lillian hissed that she did not want to see her own daughter's face, it was best to leave much later, maybe in an hour, when it was ten, or maybe eleven—if she wanted to avoid the woman and a slap to the face.

But her friend's parents would likely return soon, and she was in no mood for a second meeting and more questions being hurled at her.

Kara reached out, locked a pale wrist in her hand, "I don't want you to get hurt," a pause, "And it's late."

The tremble in her voice was difficult to ignore, as was the subtle invitation that she could stay the night.

But Lena's expression was already masked, though rejecting the tempting offer was much harder than she anticipated.

She pulled her hand back, ripping it from the blonde's soft grip.

"I'll see you at school."

Another lie, and it sounded much harsher than she intended it to.

"Oh no you don't," Kara raised her voice, beating Lena to the door.

"Don't what?" the Luthor snapped.

"I know what you're doing—what you're going to do—and it's not going to work this time. I refuse to be avoided and ignored again; you're not leaving me worried sick about you for another week," she crossed her arms, softening her intimidating stance slightly, "At least not until you talk to me. I understand your need for space and time, but I'm not going to be left in the dark."

"Trust me, you don't want to hear me complain about the Luthors," Lena spat, trying, and failing, to sidestep the blonde.

Kara placed a strong hand on her friend's shoulder, "Try me."

A quizzical and angry expression engraved itself onto Lena's face, so the blonde relinquished her hold, "You don't need to give details, but I need to know enough that you're going to be okay, so you won't be the only one carrying it."

Her blue eyes flitted to Lena's bruises, "I'm worried about you, and I know you hate being the damsel in distress or the girl that needs protection all the time. And I'm not pitying you," she added hastily, "I swear. You're my friend, one of my best friends, so I care about you, and I can see how much you want to talk about it—about them, and you probably feel like you can't tell anyone what's going on, but you can talk to me."

"Yeah," Lena nodded, dropping her things and maneuvering her way back onto the couch, dragging her fingers through dark hair, "It's just— _I_ just..."

She shut her eyes tightly, unable to finish the sentence.

"You can talk to me," Kara repeated softly, joining her friend by sliding to the next cushion, "You  _know_ you can. What's holding you back?"

"I'm sorry."

The blonde was alarmed with the tears welling in the Luthor's eyes, confusion coloring her own expression, "For what?"

"Lex," came the raspy answer, "I didn't—I wasn't aware—I'm so sorry about your family."

A strangled, shaky breath escaped Kara's throat.

"I'm sorry," came another profuse apology, "You probably don't want to talk about this—about him. I should go—"

"No," she interrupted, taking Lena's hand and squeezing it affectionately.

"Tell me," she began, "Was he always..."

"Deranged?" the Luthor finished, "Mad? Insane? Psychopathic?"

Kara gulped, "What was he like? Before..."

Lena squeezed the hand holding hers back, "Like a normal brother. He was a little different though; smart, silly, quirky... I mean, I checkmated him my first time playing chess, at the time he was state champion in his teens," she chuckled, "That came as quite a shock, but the grin on his face was priceless when he found someone to challenge that golden brain of his."

Then she frowned, somber, "Mother wasn't so happy though, that me, a...a  _mutt_  beat her own child—purebred for greatness."

Kara entertained the thought of a smile at how kind Lex Luthor was being portrayed, "What...what happened to him?"

Lena shrugged, "He..." she struggled to find the right words, "He wasn't ever satisfied. He was finicky, fussing over the tiniest detail. He was always so  _bored_. I think it drove him mad. I thought—we thought he could be fixed with appointments to the therapist, with the best medicine that could be offered. Lillian and Lionel, they gave him  _everything_ , the world was at his disposal, and a lot of the times, at his mercy. He found a hobby though,  _fucking_ around with other people's lives when he shot down Smallville High's students."

Lena buried her face in her hands, her voice muffled, "We didn't know what he wanted. He couldn't be bought, forced, persuaded— _dissuaded_. Once he made up his mind, he made up his mind. It was final. His goal wasn't money, or anything material," she shook her head, "He was just  _bored_. He  _needed_  something to do, to the point his fingers itched to pull triggers at innocent people. Then he descended further into his madness, so insane he actually managed to bomb the Capitol. And God  _forbid_  someone tell him no."

"My parents told him no," Kara whispered brokenly.

Lena's eyes narrowed and she tensed, "He's a sociopath, a megalomaniac, a... _murderer_."

Kara involuntarily flinched at the word.

Lena softened, "He's killed so many people. Men, women, even children and animals. He's cruel, he made the Luthor name even worse than I thought possible, and now I'm associated with it—all of it. I won't ever escape," her lips twitched into a small smile, "But I guess the silver lining is that I'm adopted, I didn't inherit the defective genetics. But who knows, it could be contagious, maybe I could somehow contract it anyway. You know what they say, 'corruption is a disease'."

Lena felt herself crack open, just microscopically, and she sagged forward, the shift minute as she sighed, "The Luthors come with baggage. A lot of it."

Her tone resigned to something more defeated, a sardonic chuckle escaping her lips as she shrugged, "A lot of cumbersome, daunting, designer baggage."

Kara frowned at her poor attempt to lighten the atmosphere, "You can't just bottle up your feelings like fine wine."

Lena shook her head, "You can't exactly tell me what to do."

The blonde placed her hands on her hips, an aggravated crinkle between her brows as she shot a backfire, "And you can't tell me that I can't tell you that you can't do something."

Lena pinched the bridge of her nose and inhaled sharply, shaking her head as she raised her other hand up, "You know what, let's just stop this before we go on a loop. I'm too exhausted to process a lot of things right now and—"

Lena was suddenly engulfed in warmth, the grip around her slowly tightening.

"I'm sorry about Lex," Kara comforted.

The Luthor could hear the distaste when she rasped his name that she failed to hide. Not that she could blame her.

Lena eagerly returned the hug, just as strong, "I'm sorry for what he did to you, to your family."

She blinked a few tears and felt a dampness on her shoulder where Kara's chin rested.

"We're going to be fine, right?" Lena asked, unsure, trembling.

"We're going to be all right," Kara reassured, rubbing soothing circles on her friend's back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Constructive criticism appreciated.**


	3. Junior: Fine On The Outside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _They only grow closer, their friendship bordering between the blurred lines of platonic and romantic. But Lillian's treatment of Lena is not the only thing driving a wedge between the girls, and something finally gives._
> 
> **TRIGGER WARNING: ABLEISM, ABUSE, BULLYING, HOMOPHOBIA, AND SEXUAL ASSAULT (GROPING).**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Find me on Tumblr at spoopercorp and on FF as Local-Asshole.**
> 
> **Chapter Theme: Fine On The Outside by Priscilla Ahn.**

# Junior: Fine On The Outside

* * *

Lena hummed quietly to herself, a tiny grin painted on her face as her partially frozen fingers curled around the heat of her cup of coffee.

She shivered, slightly, as she repositioned herself on the bench out in the light snow and moved a hand to the book in her lap, her fingers feeling over the braille of the thick paper.

Winter was a time where families would often stay home and keep to themselves. Midvale hibernated during the cold, and that meant Lena could go out more often—less obnoxious gossip from people who failed to try and be discrete.

The atmosphere was peaceful, Lena just sat, a good book on her lap, a warm coffee in hand with her thick coat, oversized scarf, and boots over powdery asphalt.

She switched her hands, her left one now too cold to be used to read as it retreated back to the warm coffee, her right replacing its position as she continued to allow her mind to get lost into the story.

There were no incidences since the start of her junior year either, and now it was December. Lena had a fuzzy feeling that people backed off since she befriended the most loved and popular girl in school, along with the group that she hung out with—or at least three-fifths of the group.

Everyone was excited for the next step in their lives; Winn found Lyra and Mike found Eve, James was busy fiddling with his camera, and Lucy was occupied with her plans to join the Army.

There was a scratch next to Lena that disrupted her thoughts—multiple scratches that have not halted since she sat on the bench.

Lena chuckled quietly, "Are you done yet?"

"No," came the amused voice, "Just keep reading."

"I can't if your pencil keeps emitting such an unpleasant sound," the Luthor bantered, "It's distracting."

"I'm almost done. Ten more minutes."

"You said that fifteen minutes ago," came the retort.

"Stop rushing me."

"Kara, I'm freezing out here. And you must be too with all the sketching you've done the last thirty minutes; I'm surprised your fingers haven't frozen and fallen off yet."

There was a shrug.

"Yet," Kara added.

"'Yet'," Lena repeated, she shook her head, another short chuckle slipping out of her lungs, "What exactly are you sketching?"

There was a small, sharp intake of breath, "Wh—oh, um, s-something...uh, beautiful."

Lena hummed again, "If I guess what you're drawing, can we leave?"

"S-Sure."

The Luthor tilted her head, turning to face her friend, and at that moment her ears registered another soft gasp, "Are you cold? It's chilly out here, and you're stuttering."

Kara shook her head, as if her friend could see, "Y-Yeah, that's it. The cold."

Lena smiled, "Snow?"

"Well, snow is in the drawing," Kara admitted, "Not the centerpiece though."

"A tree?"

"No."

"The building behind us?"

"Nope."

"The sky."

"Incorrect."

"The street of cars."

"Wrong."

"The clouds."

"Nuh uh."

"A fire hydrant."

"Nada. I did say something beautiful," Kara reminded.

There was a pause.

"A dog."

"Good guess, but no."

Lena's smile faltered, lips pressed tightly as her brows furrowed in concentration.

_What other words are associated with the outside in winter?_

She could not exactly  _imagine_ anything Kara could be drawing.

"Mountains?"

"You got it."

"Really?"

"No," Kara chuckled.

Lena pouted, "That's rude."

"What can I say, I'm a pretty mean person."

The Luthor shook her head, "I'm out of ideas and vocabulary at the moment. The cold has shriveled up my brain."

"Oh stop whining," Kara grinned, "I'm finished anyway."

"So what is it?"

"What makes you think I'm going to disclose that information?" the blonde huffed, amused, "I'm not telling you."

"Why?"

"Well, maybe you should guess right."

"I don't know if I'm doing it correctly, but I'm rolling my eyes so hard right now. I swear they're going to pop out of my sockets," the Luthor quipped.

Kara laughed, gathering her supplies and shoving them into her backpack, "I can definitely see that. I'm sure not knowing what I sketched gives you great pain."

"Tremendous," Lena deadpanned sarcastically, standing up from the bench and dusting the snow off of her shirt and jeans, "So, should I just head home? It's a Sunday after all—"

"No way! I want to spend more time with you!" Kara exclaimed with a pout, "And I'm pretty sure it's my turn to dictate this play date."

"'Play date'," Lena repeated, one of her brows lifting in amusement.

"Forget I said that, but it  _is_ my turn to decide what to do, and it's going to be ice skating."

The Luthor groaned, extending her cane to walk alongside her friend, "Is this to get back at me for last week?"

Kara grinned, "Maybe."

"How cruel."

"What's cruel is you forcing me to go to that vegan place!" Kara grumbled, "I still can't brush off the taste of how much kale you forced me to eat!"

"I wasn't forcing you," Lena chuckled, closing her book.

Kara kicked at the thin patches of snow on the sidewalk, her tone mocking as she stuck her tongue out, "Meh, ' _I wasn't forcing you_ ', pffft."

"And you know it."

Kara scoffed, "Whatever. You read a lot by the way, I've noticed."

"You mean for a blind person?"

Despite the tease in Lena's tone, Kara frowned, "H-Hey, stop putting words in my mouth, you know I didn't mean it like that."

"It's okay, I'm not offended."

The blonde made a face, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's just head to the rink."

"Speaking of, I've never ice skated," Lena admitted nervously, "And my cane..."

"Don't worry," Kara whispered into her ear, linking their arms, "I'll keep you from falling."

Lena gulped, shuddering from the hot puff that touched her ear; she could feel herself reddening, "Y-Yeah."

She shook her head, pushing the subject into a new direction, "I've never really asked, but I didn't know you were into art."

Kara's steps seemed to bounce up more enthusiastically, "Definitely, that's why I'm taking A.P. art history and A.P. studio art drawing. It's a fun hobby, but I'm leaning more towards a science-y profession I think."

"I can imagine, you saved my ass in the o-chem section last year."

"You saved my butt in Euro though. I passed with a four."

Lena gasped, "I'm disappointed, Ms. Danvers. A  _four_?"

"Hey! You got a three on the A.P.U.S.H. test!"

The Luthor frowned, "In my defense, U.S. history is perhaps the most boring thing to learn about."

Kara waved a hand, scoffing, "Psssh,  _excuses_ —oh my gosh!"

She interrupted herself with a gasp, patting Lena's shoulder enthusiastically, "Dog!"

The Luthor chuckled, hearing her friend dash away to ask the owner if she could aggressively love his pet.

The man laughed heartily, "Of course."

What followed was a string of giggles and the excited barks of what sounded like quite a large dog.

"Lena?"

She tilted her head, "Yeah?"

"Get over here and give Jabba a hug!"

Lena frowned, "I'm not sure that's a good idea, what if he—"

"He's not going to bite," Kara finished for her, "Trust me, I'll protect you."

Lena scrunched her scarf up to hide her blush before her friend grabbed her hand and dragged her over.

"Don't worry, he's the fluffiest," Kara reassured with an enthusiastic giggle.

Lena nodded, rubbing her hands together, but a big wet nose nudged her fingers and she pulled back slightly in surprise.

The dog snorted, shoving its long snout into her palms.

Lena chuckled, burying her hands into its thick fur.

"He  _is_ the fluffiest," she agreed, then she dropped her hands to her sides and stood up.

"Thank you for letting us pet your dog," Kara beamed, waving the man goodbye.

"Done already?" Lena teased, "Did you have fun?"

The blonde grinned, "Very much fun actually."

A snicker.

"Don't make fun of me! There's nothing better than a dog!"

"A bold statement, Ms. Danvers."

"Well, I'm pretty sure you can't think of anything better than a dog, so—"

"Two dogs."

There was a moment of silence.

"Good point. You're right."

Lena smirked, "When am I not?"

"Well—"

The Luthor held her hand up, a stern expression on her face, "That wasn't an invitation for you to start."

Kara laughed, "Okay, okay. We're at the rink anyway, so let's go!"

The blonde grabbed her friend's hand and tugged over towards the entrance.

"Wait here," she ordered, "I'll go get the skates since you treated me our last hangout."

"Sure. Don't get distracted on the way," she teased.

Lena should have known that her blissful paradise would not last; an entire summer and four month's worth of peace had to eventually break.

A different day for it to come crumbling down would have been a nice courtesy though.

"Luthor."

She internally groaned, the grip on her cane tightening, "Maxwell Lord."

She could just hear the smug grin plastered on his arrogant face, "The one and only."

There seemed to be a shift, multiple, in positions, and it made Lena's already tight hold on her cane even more so.

"I don't believe I've ever acquainted you with my friend."

"I don't believe I've ever shown you any interest in being acquainted with your friends," Lena shot back calmly.

The two boys ignored the statement.

"Ben," the other introduced simply.

Lena stiffened at the familiar voice, her expression hardened.

The silent tension was finally broken.

"You're that asshole from freshman year, with all those immature dicks in T.S.A. The one that was outside the school during winter who ganged up on me with his buddies."

Another blanket of awkward silence draped over the three of them.

It was ripped apart by a cheerful voice.

"Hey, Lena! I got the ska— _oh_."

Kara paused, and the Luthor felt a presence step in front of her almost protectively.

"Max."

The greeting was forced in its brightness, and that was when Lena realized that Lucy probably disclosed his unwanted advancements towards her from the past two years to the blonde.

"Kara!"

Lena's ears twitched, concentrating on the clear enjoyment Ben had in her presence.

Though the blonde seemed more keen on focusing on Max and the other boy's greeting went ignored, much to his dismay.

"Just wanted to drop by and say hello," Max smirked, "And to ask if you wanted to go to the winter ball before Christmas break."

Lena took a deep breath, "Again, I'm going to have to decline your offer, like I have the past few times."

_He can't have possibly forgotten about the lesbian rumors from last year._

Max was unpleased by the reminder, and it seemed to snap his ego as she heard him step closer, his voice raised, "Listen here you fucking  _dyke_ —"

_Guess not._

Lena flinched slightly from the venom in his acidic tone.

"Back off," Kara warned, just below a shout.

Lena heard shuffling as Max was shoved away.

"This doesn't concern y—"

"Yes, it does," the blonde interrupted, crossing her arms, "If you're planning on staying here to give Lena a heartfelt apology, then please do. Otherwise,  _leave_."

The boys slowly shuffled off.

"Are you okay?"

Lena looked up towards the direction of the voice, "Yeah, I'm fine. He didn't do anything this time."

Kara narrowed her eyes, "What do you mean 'this time'?"

The Luthor waved the matter off, "He's a bit difficult to get rid of. He'll be back after a while. I'm grateful you stepped in though."

"If he comes back I'll just have to be more assertive," Kara scowled.

Lena's lips quirked into a soft smile as she gently caressed her friend's clenched fist, "Let's just forget this happened and have some fun, okay?"

The blonde sighed, handing over the skates, "Yeah, you're right."

The pair quickly tied on their laces and carefully treaded over to the outdoor rink.

Lena shivered once the cold air hit her frostbitten skin and stepped foot into the arena.

"Who on Earth would do this for  _fun_?" she cursed, "Who the hell— _shit_!"

She cut herself off with a startled yelp as she lost balance, only to land in the steady arms of Kara.

"Careful, it's slippery," she quipped.

"Hilarious," the Luthor deadpanned.

"Just hold onto me," Kara suggested, "I'll guide you around, you'll get the hang of it. It's only been, like, ten minutes."

Lena was already a step ahead, clutching onto her friend's sleeve for balance, "I don't exactly plan on letting go."

Kara chuckled and glided over the ice slowly, dragging her friend along with her.

"See? Not so bad, right?"

"I'm skating for five more minutes before I'm leaving. I'll just read on the benches while you prance around."

"Awww, but—"

Lena squeaked when a skater zoomed past, too close for comfort, and she lost her balance; she fell to the ground, dragging Kara with her.

"Oof. What was that for?" the blonde whined.

"If I'm going down, you're coming with me," Lena explained, sprawling around and fumbling for a way to compose herself.

Kara shoved the girl on top of her playfully, "Okay, now get off."

"What makes you think I can stand?" she muttered, red staining her cheeks at their close proximity.

The blonde huffed, picking herself and Lena up from the floor, "Okay, I guess this is enough ice skating for today."

* * *

"Happy holidays."

Lena let a confused smile pull her lips up halfway and tilted her head curiously, "Thanks? Shouldn't you be in the cafeteria with your other friends?"

Kara scoffed, "Nonsense, you're my friend too, and they can survive one day without me."

Lena's fingers froze over a book's spine, she was still unused to the term 'friend' being utilized to describe her. It took another second before she continued browsing the shelves in the small braille section, running her fingers along the novels.

"What brings you to the library then?" she inquired.

"I made you something."

Lena paused again, befuddled, "Why?"

"It's gift-giving season, silly!" Kara chuckled, "Hands out."

"But, well, I didn't get you anything," Lena panicked, "I don't usually celebrate so I just assumed—"

"It's completely fine, Lena," Kara interjected softly, placing a small box into her friend's palms, "I made you something."

"Don't spoil the present for me," the Luthor smirked.

"Just open it," the blonde pouted.

"I thought I had to wait until Christmas?" Lena asked, "Isn't that how it works?"

"I'm not going to see you that day, we're going to be on break," Kara explained, "I want to see your reaction."

Lena glided her fingers around the box and felt the thin fabric of the cheap ribbon before pulling at it to loosen. She lifted the lid and retrieved...an object a little bigger than her hand. It felt smooth and polished and was cool to the touch.

Lena set the box down on the table next to them and silently danced her fingers around the...

_It's a mug._

A wide smile lit her face as she registered every depth, every curve, bump, depression, slant; the mug was intricate in design and seemed painstakingly carved into.

"I didn't know you could sculpt," she mumbled.

"I'd like to think I'm pretty decent at pottery," Kara whispered back with affection.

"Thank you," Lena chuckled wetly, feeling a pool of liquid prickling her eyes, "It  _feels_ beautiful."

She let out another laugh, wiping the tears away, "Sorry. I got a little emotional."

Kara hummed, her tone content, "I'm glad you like your gift."

"I feel bad now," Lena frowned.

"Don't worry about it, really," she reassured.

A pause.

"Will you be okay?"

The question was filled with concern.

Lena ducked her head, she knew where this conversation was headed, Kara had tried to bring it up most of the time.

"Yeah."

The blonde sounded like she did not believe the answer.

"Are you sure?"

Lena sighed, "Kara—"

"Please be honest with me," she implored,  _begged_ , "Will you be safe during winter break?"

The Luthor sighed again, mumbling, "I don't know."

She could feel the mood darken around them and hastily tried to ease the tension.

"Mother hasn't—she hasn't tried anything since..."

She trailed off, her voice cracking at another lie that was about to be slipped from her tongue.

_What's more believable? Since summer? Since the beginning of the year?_

"Since this morning?" Kara ground out.

Lena involuntarily let out a quiet gasp, "N-No, I—"

"I've been waiting," she interrupted, her voice was tinged with exasperation and hurt, "Waiting for you to—" she shook her head, "You keep evading this, Lena. And if you can't, you deflect it. If you can't do that either, you lie."

The Luthor frowned guiltily, shrinking into herself, "I'm sorry, I didn't want to worry you."

"Didn't want to worry me?" Kara scoffed, "You keeping silent about this worries me more. I saw you, last week on Friday; you came to school with bruises on your wrist. Then the next day, when we hung out to ice skate, you had more on your shoulders, your collarbones. Two days ago, Monday, your hands were wrapped in bandages—they were  _bleeding_."

"It actually wasn't that bad—"

"Not that bad? You have your ears, but you also need your hands to see," Kara interrupted in frustration, struggling to maintain the steadiness of her voice, "Your own mom is hurting you, that's  _abuse_."

Lena flinched at the word.

Kara sighed roughly, "How much is your own safety worth to you? Your own life?"

"I...I don't know..."

"Does  _any_ of it matter to you?"

Lena sighed, "Of course it does, I just..."

It took her a moment to register the pair of strong arms that tightened around her body.

"Well, I have news for you, Lena Luthor," Kara consoled, voice wavering with emotion, "You're worth it."

She belatedly returned the hug, she felt tired, exhausted, and worn out.

"Yeah," her voice monotone to complement her dull and weary eyes.

Though she did not quite believe herself.

But that was what Kara wanted to hear, and Lena would give her everything she wanted, even if it was a lie to spew from her lips.

* * *

The next time she saw Kara was the day before winter break ended, and luckily for her, she had the gifts in her bag.

They had not really spoken since the emotional confrontation just before the break started, and Lena was unsure where they stood at the moment, but she did feel the need to give her the gifts, regardless of how belated the presents were.

She scanned the bakery's sound, Noonan's; it was bustling even in the winter of January. It was also Kara's favorite and Lena decided to stop by to check out the menu and possibly get her a box of pastries to apologize.

Maybe multiple boxes.

Perhaps not. She really only had one arm intact after another bout of crazed anger from her mother earlier in the day. It was sore at the slightly dislocated joint, but she still had to make up a more elaborate story that would not incriminate her mother, so that would be on her agenda tomorrow and then she could visit the doctor. In the meantime, she would just use her right arm less.

Her ears perked up at the sound of her name.

"Lena?"

She pivoted, "Kara?"

The blonde laughed, "I wasn't expecting to see you here! What a small world!"

Lena smiled, making her way over to the secluded booth before retracting her cane and settling into the cushions.

"So what brings you to Noonan's?" Kara grinned, "If I recall correctly, you're not a big fan of sweets."

"No, I'm not," she admitted, "But you are."

She missed the sharp intake of breath her friend made.

"What about you though?" Lena switched the subject, "Why're you here?"

"Oh, uh," Kara cleared her throat, "You know how Ben's been asking me out for the last year or so?"

Lena slumped back, slightly, into her seat. She knew where this was going, and she silently thanked her self-doubt, because it definitely made this information a lot less painful than it could have been.

But it was still a punch in the gut.

She groaned inwardly, reviewing the list of questions she made for all the straight girls she crushed on who ended up liking some immature boy.

But Kara was different. The pain Lena felt for her was bigger than her previous infatuations all combined, multiplied by a thousand.

Before she could grind out the typical 'is he cute' or 'is he nice' questions between her clenched teeth, Kara spoke first.

"He sort of stood me up."

Lena short-circuited, " _Wh_ - _what_? After badgering you to go out with him for a year, the one time he gets his chance he just..."

She groaned and shook her head.

_Don't call him an asshole. Just...don't go off on Kara today._

A familiar hand brushed itself over Lena's knuckles.

"I'm fine, he just forgot that swimming practice was on his schedule."

She resisted the urge to scoff.

_Maybe he should've been a responsible student and actually checked his availability._

Lena pinched the bridge of her nose, "You know what, let's just..." she shifted, "I have something that'll cheer you up. Hopefully."

She reached into her bag and pulled out the gift, handing it to her friend across from her.

"I said you didn't have to."

"I wanted to," Lena smiled, "Open it. Sorry about the crap wrap by the way."

"I actually think it's kind of cute," Kara hummed, "Though I'm not too appreciative of the tape and paper spikes."

"Stop insulting me and open the damn gift," Lena smirked.

A rip followed her comment, the gasp of surprise chasing not soon after.

"Do you know how expensive these are!" she squeaked.

The Luthor shrugged, "They're just sets of sketching pencils and some sculpting tools. Besides, I'm rich. Sorry about the other gift though, I'm not..." she waved her good hand in front of her face, "...artsy. I couldn't top the mug you made for me, but, uh, I did pick up knitting temporarily and made you a beanie if you want it."

"Of course I do!" Kara exclaimed.

Lena chuckled nervously, pulling out the soft accessory and placing it in her friend's hand, "No wrapper for this one."

"It's really cute," she commented, genuine.

"It probably looks horrid, especially since I don't exactly know what blue and red and gold look like, but Lucy said it looked pretty professionally done, so—"

Kara reached out to lock their fingers together and squeezed, "I love the gifts, really. And the beanie is actually  _really_ neatly done. You should knit more, you're great at it."

Lena squeezed back, "I'm glad. But that beanie took too many rolls of string and too many days, so that's not a hobby I'd enjoy picking up anytime soon."

"What's with the 'S' though?" Kara inquired, inspecting the embroidery.

"'S'?" Lena repeated quizzically. Then it dawned on her, "Oh my God! It was supposed to be a 'K', for the first letter of your name."

She sank into her seat and threw her head back in distress, "Why didn't Lucy tell me? That bitch."

Kara laughed, "It's fine! The 'S' can stand for something else. Like 'super'."

Lena smiled, "Whatever floats your boat."

She was nearly rendered speechless when Kara's thumb began to rub the back of her hand.

"O-Oh, um, did you, uh, eat anything?" she managed to squeak out.

"No, I was actually waiting for Ben to show up and was about to leave when he texted me he couldn't make it. Then you showed up and now I'm hoping my plans will change."

"Well then," Lena smirked, "Are you hungry?"

Kara leaned closer, "Always."

The puff of breath assaulted the Luthor's nostrils with its sweet minty scent, and it took her brain at least five seconds to catch up.

"Cool, I heard they had a killer kale sandwich here."

Kara groaned, sinking until she slid dramatically below the table, "No, please, Lena, have mercy on me. I'm a good person, I don't deserve this."

The Luthor chuckled, nudging her friend with her foot, "Hey, dork, I'm not going to make you eat it."

"You said that last time," she whined.

Lena rolled her eyes, "Okay, but I'm not preventing you from ordering what you want."

Kara popped back up into her seat, "Hot chocolate?"

"Why not?"

"I love you."

Lena froze, her brain rendered useless again.

Even if it was platonic in context, it did not fail to make her heart flutter.

"You know," Kara started, "I'm really glad you decided not to wear your sunglasses as often anymore."

She raised a brow, "'Cause of my 'lovely green eyes'?"

Kara choked on air, seemingly flustered, "I—of course!"

Lena responded with a tight-lipped smile.

* * *

Kara muffled her burp, "Oops."

"Please mind your manners, Ms. Danvers," the Luthor teased next to her, slapping her belly.

She went ignored, the blonde sitting back and stretching, her skin peeking through and Lena's hand slipping onto the warm flesh.

_They're abs. Oh my God._

Lena flushed, held her breath and retracted her hand, focusing on feeling through her bills for the tip.

The first fold was halfway down.

_No, that's a fifty._

The next crease was in the corner.

_Hundred..._

The one that followed had a fold around a centimeter long.

_One..._

Another crease took up one-sixth of the bill.

_There's the ten._

Kara yawned and patted her stomach, her very fit stomach, "My tummy is full."

Lena's thoughts digressed again.

_Abs, abs, abs, abs, abs._

She shook her head and chuckled, setting her tip down and moving to sign the check, "Where's the..."

Kara nudged Lena's hand towards the signature section of the receipt.

"Thanks."

The blonde let out another yawn.

"Tired?" Lena asked with a smile.

"Kind of."

"It's only six."

"But it's winter, so it's dark and it messes up my sleep schedule."

"Ah, yes, I forgot, little Kara's bedtime is at eight o' clock."

"At least I  _have_ a sleep schedule," she countered, "You look like you haven't slept—I thought you were right-handed?"

Lena panicked, dropped the pen after she was done signing, "Yeah, I am," she lifted her injured arm casually, a subtle action to show she was fine, "I just—my right arm's a little sore," she forced a nervous laugh, "I slipped on ice earlier."

Kara narrowed her eyes, "She hurt you again."

Lena sighed in defeat, closing the checkbook and placing it to the side, wincing, "She got a little angry."

"B-But she had a valid reason," Lena added on hastily, hoping it would help, "I...I didn't set the table properly for dinner, and—"

"' _Valid reason_ '?" Kara repeated in disbelief, glaring at her friend's injured arm, "She hurt you to the point you can barely use one of your arms?"

Her tone quickly descended lower, it did not sound angry anymore, just somber.

"How many times have you justified your mom's actions? How many times has she manipulated you into thinking she's always in the right and you're always in the wrong?"

"It wasn't that bad, she only pushed me and I landed on the ground wrong," Lena broke, "Can we not talk about this right now, Kara?"

"When then?" she asked, the cadence in her voice aching, "Never?"

"Some day, just not now,  _please_."

"No, why won't you do something?" she pushed, a little louder, "Why won't you turn her in?"

"'Cause I won't have anywhere else to go..."

Lena's voice was tiny, vulnerable, even as she took a breath to try and rebuild the strength in it.

"I know that calling the police is the most logical answer, without any information, without any context of the background."

"Enlighten me," Kara breathed sharply.

"I'm seventeen. Not yet an adult. If I turn her in, I'll be thrust back into an orphanage. I don't want to move around in foster homes, Kara. No one wants to adopt teenagers. No one. And once I turn eighteen, I have to leave, and orphanages don't have much money to give to any child that leaves the system. I'll have nothing," she sighed, "Even if I report her as an adult, she owns the entirety of the Luthor fortune from what I know—I haven't read Lionel's will, but I'm sure it all belongs to her. She'll cut off all ties with me while she tries to calm the press. She'll take everything away."

There was a small creak as Kara shifted her position, "I hate that..."

_I hate her._

Lena dropped her head in understanding, "I know..."

A long silence engulfed the pair, the last of the customers trickling out before nightfall froze the air completely.

It took another moment before Lena shattered the quiet with a soul-crushing confession.

"It was her."

Kara snapped her head up, "What?"

"She did it."

"I don't..."

"A while after I was adopted," Lena elaborated, "Lex, he fell down the stairs—always clumsy as a kid actually—and Mother came. She thought I pushed down her little boy or something like that," she made a sound between a chuckle and a scoff, "She lost her shit, went to me fists blazing," she sighed, "I remember my face being so swollen I couldn't see. I thought it'd go away, that the doctors would do something about my vision, but it didn't," she shook her head, "Mother managed to cover it all up."

Kara was speechless, "I...why..."

"I know it's more rational to report her, I do, and there were plenty of times I almost did 'cause I didn't feel safe around her. I still don't."

"What stopped you?"

Lena shrugged and chuckled mirthlessly, "I don't know? Some form of Stockholm syndrome?"

She slumped further into her seat and tensed uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry," Kara gulped down the information, "We don't have to talk about this anymore."

She wrapped an arm around her friend's shoulders.

Lena did a double take, "What?"

"I kept insisting, when I didn't know what was really going on," Kara frowned, squeezing tighter, "All of that was yours to tell, and I feel bad for forcing it out of you. You can talk about it as much as you want whenever you want, I'll be there to listen. Seeing you hurt is just...really upsetting."

"The same goes for you."

Lena smiled and relaxed into the hold, but she refused to lean her head on her friend's shoulder—their current proximity was enough to melt her brain into an infatuated puddle.

"Hey, Kara?"

"Mmm?"

"I need you to try and understand that I might need a little more... _time_  than others. Correct me if I'm wrong, but your birth family loved you."

Kara stroked Lena's arm, "Yeah. They did."

"And then you were adopted into a family that immediately accepted you and loved you just as much."

A nod.

Lena inhaled shakily, "I don't...I don't have that, Kara. I never have. I don't remember my birth family. The Luthors are the only people close to it that I've ever really known; they didn't accept me, at least not Mother—Lex was happy to get a sibling, Father was often away so I didn't know how he felt, but I imagine it's not much different from Mother's," she clenched her hands into fists, grimacing when it ached her bad arm, "There was no love, Kara; I don't know what it looks or feels like. We both need to know that when we're talking about anything like this that...that maybe you speak from a place I don't quite understand, and that I speak from a place you don't understand either."

Kara nodded and hugged her friend tighter, "You're right."

Lena hummed, "When am I not?"

"Shush," the blonde laughed.

It took a comfortable minute of silence before one of them spoke up again.

"It's Lucy's birthday soon," Kara informed, "She's hosting a party and it's open to everyone. Of course, she invited me, Alex, James, Mike, and Winn personally," she paused, "Plus someone else."

Lena smirked, "You're assuming I'm that 'someone else'?"

Then she frowned, "I haven't really updated her on her invitation."

"Why not?"

"She's doing it 'cause she pities me probably, and maybe 'cause of you."

"That's not true!" she denied, her brows creased, "You're a likable person. I like you."

Lena rolled her eyes, "You like everybody, Kara."

"That's not true either!" she pulled away from the Luthor's shoulder, slouching back, "I don't like jerks. Like those guys that bullied you freshman year. Especially Max."

Kara's hand slipped from pale ones to clench into a fist, before Lena belatedly chased it with her fingers.

She pried them open gently and smoothed the taught muscles out with massaging strokes.

"Hey..." she called in a soft voice, "Relax. It's okay. It's fine. It's in the past," she quieted further, "I'm used to it, don't worry."

Kara stiffened at the implication, "You shouldn't be."

Lena shook her head and sighed, returning to their original topic, "What I'm saying is that I'm not sure if Lucy—"

"She likes you."

Lena scoffed, "I know. But—"

"She does!" Kara argued, "Lucy might not look it, but when she likes people she likes them, and she doesn't like a lot of people. I know she's the next person you're comfortable with, her and then Winn."

Lena hesitated at the truth in those words, "I'll think about it, okay?"

She could feel Kara beam next to her.

"You should probably get your arm in a sling before the party, you don't want to make it worse."

The Luthor scowled, her right arm pulsing with a dull ache at the reminder, "Yeah, you're probably right."

" _When am I not_?" Kara mocked.

Lena promptly shoved her friend off the booth.

* * *

"This was a bad idea, I can  _feel_ people gawking at me."

"Nonsense!" Kara exclaimed, raising her voice just above the pounding music, "Oh! There's Lucy, James, and Winn!"

Lena frowned at the mention of the photographer, "I'm not sure what you're thinking is such a great idea eith—whoa!"

She nearly toppled over as she was dragged away.

"How about you  _Luce_ -en up, Luce?" Winn chuckled from his seat, propping his feet on the table, "It  _is_  your birthday after all. And, like, the entire school came."

"Look!" he pointed to Mike jamming on the dancefloor with Eve.

Lucy narrowed her eyes and swiped his legs off, "No, and you have to stop practicing bad manners  _and_  horrible puns."

He dramatically threw his hands in the air, "Do you  _ever_  catch a break sometimes? You're so stiff with the military stuff," he scratched his chin, "Maybe you need to get a bit more drunk. You know, play time is extremely healthy for a child's development, so this explains why you're so..."

He trailed off and made a repulsed face, "...you."

Lucy quickly pulled Lena over, who could not help but scrunch her nose at the overwhelming amount of alcohol she smelled. The girl wrapped an arm over her shoulders, gesturing, "Does  _she_  look like she played a lot as a kid? No, I didn't think so, and it looks like she turned out just fine."

Lena tensed, "Oh, um, thanks?"

She was interrupted by a deep forced cough from, perhaps, James.

"Ahem," he glared at the Luthor before a loud rumble in the back of Kara's throat signaled him.

"Be  _nice_ ," she whispered harshly into his ear.

Lena felt the table stumble at his recoil, from the bite of the blonde's inflection or from the idea of being nice to a Luthor she did not know.

Lucy and Winn coincidentally left to acquire more drinks.

Kara then leaned over to scold into Lena's ear, "And  _you_ —"

"I'm open to the idea of friendship with three out of five of your closest buddies," she scowled, "I'm already doing better than Jimmy and your sister."

Kara's mouth hung open for a moment before clacking it shut, "You make a very good point, but just try to..."

Lena arched a brow so hard it shifted her sunglasses, "Not be  _prickly_ , right?"

"W-Well—"

"I'm not exactly sure it's my prickliness that's scaring Mr. Olsen off. I'll find some time to change my last name when summer comes."

Kara deflated, "C'mon, this is supposed to be fun and you two are such party poopers."

"Don't pout at me."

She gasped, "I am  _not—_ how'd you—"

"I can sense the childish aura radiating from you a mile away."

The blonde rolled her eyes, "Okay, okay, let's just tackle this one problem at a ti—"

"Kara?"

She snapped her head up, her voice filled with joy, "Alex! Maggie! My two favorite seniors!"

Lena tensed and distractedly fumbled with her arm's sling when her friend left her side to greet the two newcomers and assumed that they were in a world of their own once the chatter hit off. Her spine straightened even more when she heard a shuffle next to her.

"Luthor," came the gruff voice.

Lena resisted the urge to roll her eyes, "What do you want, Mr. Olsen? Here to give me a shovel talk?"

He huffed, "Honestly, I think you're smart enough to know that I don't take kindly to people who would hurt any of my friends."

"Is that a threat, Mr. Olsen? If so, you can get in line," she scoffed, "Please, I have worse things to worry about than another six foot hulking football player."

"I'm glad we have an understanding," he grunted, "Look, I know we got off on the wrong footing, and I have a history with the Luthors—"

Lena scoffed dryly, "Me too. Doesn't everybody."

James sighed, "But I don't have history with you, so...I think it's best if we start over. I can be less prejudiced and maybe you can be less..."

Lena chuckled, "Prickly?"

James laughed with her, "I'm pretty sure Kara won't use any other word to describe you."

"Luthor!"

Lena let out a groan.

_Can people stop calling me that?_

"Max. Ben," James greeted forcibly, nodding in their directions.

Lena felt him stand up next to her and shift his attention towards the two boys, "We're sort of talking right now, I'd appreciate it if you could decide on another time to speak with her."

When she felt James return to his seat, she snickered at the thought of the two scrawnier boys dashing off.

"Are those two the 'worse things' you were thinking about?" James asked, his tone slightly lighter, "I don't like them either. They both have an ego bigger than the Burj even though they're benched for their games almost seventy percent of the time."

Lena shrugged, "Perhaps. I can handle Max though, he's not one to resort to violence if he doesn't get what he wants."

She felt James bristle next to her, "Not that I'm shocked, but...what do you mean by that? Did Ben do that to your arm?"

Lena shook her head, waved off the slip-up with her good hand, "Nothing, they're both assholes, I'm not too fond of Ben though, for standing Kara up. I'm sure you've heard."

She moved her head to the side, where she could hear that the blonde was still deep into conversation with Alex and her friend. Though from time to time, Kara would awkwardly stop, probably to check and see if she and James were getting along.

Then Ben decided to interrupt the trio's conversation, Kara's older sister glaring daggers at him, and her friend was not too fond of his presence either.

James shuddered, "The rest of us don't like him either. He's  _everywhere_ , like a fifth dimensional omnipresent frat boy, I still can't believe Kara actually agreed to go out on a date with that imp."

Lena smiled sadly, "If they do hit it off, I hope that we're all wrong about Ben—"

"I don't like him."

The outburst was close, clearly directed at them.

"You don't like anyone," another chimed in, Lena assumed it was the Maggie that Kara greeted earlier.

"Shut up, Sawyer."

"Maggie is right though, Alex," James chuckled.

The chair screeched next to Lena and someone slumped on it, then there was a loud bang on the table.

"Keep your feet down."

"Is that an order, Danvers?"

Alex sighed, "Not like I can stop you anyway. So what's up with you guys?"

James shrugged, "Not much."

"Not much?"

There was another sound of clutter as Alex sat herself down, "I saw you two chatting pretty freely before we came over. I'm sure it was a riveting conversation, right, Luthor?"

Lena could feel the lingering stare on her.

"Same thing you two were discussing over there."

"And that is?"

"Our hate for Ben."

Maggie burst out into laughter next to her.

James chortled, "I wouldn't use such a strong word, more like despise, dislike, detest—"

"Hate," the three women interrupted.

The boy chuckled again, "Okay, I guess so—oh no."

Lena tilted her head, "What is it?"

"Looks like Winn made a mess of the punch bowl. And Luce bolted. I'll go help him."

Alex groaned, "C'mon, Kara's over there already helping the poor guy clean himself up, I think it's a little unnecessary."

"I still want a drink though," James smiled, "I'll catch up with all of you later."

"Count me in," Maggie declared, "There might be more beer for me."

Lena internally sighed.

_I'm alone. With Kara's older sister._

"Luthor."

She winced, though the tone was far from sounding hostile like when she first encountered James. Her voice sounded surprisingly neutral.

Lena snapped, "You know, if you want to give me a long speech about how much you don't like me and don't want me around Kara, I've got it. James made it clear when we first met, and you've made it clear—"

"Why don't you zip it for a second and let me talk?"

Lena pressed her lips shut and folded her arms protectively over her chest and growled, "Okay, spit it out."

"You know, you're making this really difficult, Luthor."

"Maybe you should try calling me by my first name."

"Okay, Lena."

The raven-haired girl smirked as she echoed her statement, though with a lighter, arguably nicer tone, "Okay. Spit it out."

Alex rolled her eyes, "You're just as sassy as Lucy and Maggie."

"Thanks."

"That wasn't a compliment."

"I'm sure your girlfriend won't like hearing that."

Lena was baffled when Alex stuttered over her words.

"What the—we're not... _girlfriends_."

Lena was quite honestly confused, her gaydar was pretty top notch, and the way they acted with one another seemed overwhelmingly gay.

"Oh, I thought, I just assumed...yeah, sorry about that then."

Alex shook her head, "I'm not gay. Yeah, I'm not a..."

She trailed off.

Lena rolled her eyes, "Oh for fuck's sake just say it the offensive way," she narrowed her eyes and sneered in the most offensive tone possible, "A  _lesbian_. God forbid."

Her inflection bordered a mocking, disgusted tone at the 'l' word and she chuckled humorlessly afterwards.

" _Jesus fucking Christ_ , Kara wasn't kidding when she said you were prickly."

"I'm _not_ prick—"

Lena interrupted herself by sucking a gulp of air as she pinched the bridge of her nose, "You know what, we're digressing."

Alex sighed, "Right, as I was saying—what was I saying?"

"I don't know, it kind of felt like a shovel talk to me."

"Listen, I'm not here to shake you down, okay? I just wanted to clarify with you that I don't terribly mind that you and Kara hang out."

_Terribly mind._

Lena was skeptical, "You're not fond of me."

Alex scoffed, "I'm Kara's big sister, I'm not fond of anyone she meets. Winn? I thought he was that 'nice, nerdy guy' wanting to get into every girls' pants. James? I thought he was that stereotypical football player that objectified women. Mike fell into that category too."

Lena found herself smiling, "And Lucy?"

Alex waved a hand, "Please, I  _still_ don't like that asshole."

They both shared a chuckle.

"Nah," she continued, "I knew her before Kara did. The point is..." she leaned in and rested her elbows on the table, "...I'm Kara's older sister, I'm going to be pretty picky about who she hangs out with, dates, knows, whatever. That also means I'm going to find any tiny detail of the person and hold it against them. They're snappy one time, they automatically have anger issues and by extension, could be abusive. They ask to borrow money one time, they're automatically a manipulative gold digger. And you, you're a Luthor—it's not a part of your personality, sure—but I didn't care, it gave me a reason to not like you, so you were automatically a psychopath."

"That hardly seems fair."

"You should've seen the shit I gave James and Mike."

Lena smiled.

Alex leaned back, "But I also know that Kara can make her own choices, and that's fine, but I'm obviously going to intervene if I think it's a bad idea. Like the time she decided to eat three tubs of ice cream in one sitting and got a brain freeze so massive she almost called the police. Or that time she decided to save a cat from a tree and ended up getting caught in the branches upside-down until the fire department came."

There was a long stretch of silence.

"So?" she asked, "Aren't you going to say something?"

"Oh, I thought you were going to continue to disclose embarrassing stories about Kara."

Alex laughed, "Maybe another day. I'm sure we can exchange some pretty interesting ones."

"What makes you think I have any stories as entertaining as yours?" Lena smirked.

"Kara came home more than once aggressively whining about how you made her eat kale, which, good job by the way."

"Her reactions were really dramatic," Lena chuckled, "It was pretty easy to convince her."

"It was?" Alex questioned, her curiosity spiking, "She's probably the most stubborn person I know. Even when she was all lovey dovey with James, he could never get her to try out this eccentric vegetarian place near ours. You must be something special."

Lena forced a friendly smile, deciding not to read into the last sentence.

_Just friends._

But continuing their friendship like that, it was too difficult, especially since she did not know the first thing about being a friend. If it was going to work without Lena's feelings getting in the way, she would need space and time, both of which would not last long due to how tactile and easily worried Kara was.

Still, Lena did make a mental note of doing more research; social cues were easy to register, emotions that changed the inflections in people's words were  _easy_ , but understanding and tying that concept with a friend was an entirely different story; Lena did not have to please others and every interaction for her was diplomatic and pertained to business, there were no other crossroads.

A friend though, a friend—especially one that she was infatuated with—came with countless options, all based on emotion. There was no clear-cut way for Lena to navigate and it was, quite frankly,  _exhausting_. Now there were a bunch of other socializing skills she needed to learn, like how to comfort people, how to be encouraging, how to give advice...

Lena was ill-prepared to do anything that was expected of a good friend.

And she was slapped in the face when she ended up catching feelings.

And romance was certainly something she was just as unprepared for.

Lena knew what she was getting into in freshman year, many considered high school to be a section in life that was new, but she did not expect to experience so many new things all at once.

Alcohol. It tasted nice. Sex. It was fun. Drugs. She's heard things, but never involved herself. Love? That was something Lena never considered thoughtfully, and the notion was immediately tossed out the window the moment it broached her mind.

Because it was just so... _unrealistic_.

So it really caught her off guard when Kara Danvers popped up out of nowhere, along with the emotions Lena attached with her.

The fluttery feeling in her stomach every time she was with Kara, the lightheadedness she got every time Kara giggled, the lump that got stuck in her throat every time Kara spoke with her melodic cadence.

It was all about  _her_  and Lena was really getting sick of it. She thought the crush was small, insignificant, that it would fade within a few days.

Then those few days became weeks, then months, and now it has been almost three years and her infatuation only bloomed with time.

It was so inconvenient, even more so when Lucy found out.

" _You can't really hide your heart eyes for Kara very well."_

 _Lena froze, "I do_ not _have—"_

" _Deny it all you want, doesn't really change the fact that you're oozing rainbows and sparkly glitter all over her," she smirked._

_Lena grinded her teeth together, "It doesn't matter, Kara's not interested in girls. She said so herself."_

_Lucy frowned, patted her on the back, "You know, Alex says the same thing, but I'll let you in on a secret," she leaned closer and whispered, "She's not very good at hiding her heart eyes for Maggie either. And Kara could be oblivious to her attraction to girls too."_

_Lena sighed, "She confuses me. I know she's a touchy person, but sometimes the line between platonic and romantic is blurred with her."_

" _How about you tell her?"_

" _That's actually the worst idea I've ever heard."_

_Lucy rolled her eyes, "If the uncertainty is the thing that's killing you, there's only one way to be certain about it, then you can move on. Makes it easier, right? To know if they like you back or not."_

"You sulk a lot you know?"

Lena snapped her head up.

"You're all about the mysterious broodiness," Alex elaborated.

"I've been told," she shrugged casually, "I guess I also can't help it. The Luthors are pretty dramatic, it kind of rubbed off on me."

The mention of the notorious family did not faze either of them.

"You're pretty on par with Kara in that case. She's  _very_  dramatic. She went off on Winn a while ago for taking one of her eclairs, which..." she rolled her eyes, "...she hasn't  _ever_  been that protective about her goodies and that's honestly saying something. But she doesn't even  _like_  eclairs that much."

Lena frowned, "Should I have bought a pie for her instead?"

Alex's eyes bulged, "You bought the eclairs for her?" Then she huffed quietly, "Explains why she went batshit crazy."

"Hey, that's not a nice thing to say about me," Maggie chimed in, three beers in hand as she ambled towards them.

Alex rolled her eyes, "We weren't talking about you, Sawyer."

"Who then, Danvers?" she returned playfully.

"Kara."

Maggie whistled, "The eclair incident?"

"The eclair incident," she confirmed.

"Probably the worst I've ever seen," she turned towards Lena, "Hey, Luthor, you want a drink? I got a beer for all three of us."

Lena shook her head, "No, thanks, I'm withholding for today."

Maggie shrugged, "More for me then."

Alex's face contorted into a disgusted expression as she was handed a bottle, "I don't like this brand."

Maggie rolled her eyes, "Oh my God, you're so picky," she nudged her shoulder, "C'mon, let's go back to the cooler, I'm sure there'll be a brand you like."

"I doubt it, Lucy's all about the  _Corona_ and her  _Buds_."

"There's  _Coors_."

A pause.

"Lena, I'll catch up with you later."

The Luthor waved a hand, "It's all right, I was about to head out for some fresh air anyway."

She heard the two women walk off and stood up, brushing herself off with her good arm and adjusting her sling and sunglasses before carefully navigating her way to the exit with her cane; she stuck to the walls, her nose puckered whenever a particularly sweaty high schooler that smelled of alcohol bumped into her. She inhaled sharply at the fresh air once she was outside and shortened her cane.

Lena grumbled when she heard a couple of boys making a ruckus next to her in the distance.

"Luthor!"

She groaned.

_Great. Max and his lackeys. And they're also drunk._

"Boo."

Lena yelped, jumped away from the voice behind her only to back into one of the other boys.

"Enjoying the party?" Max asked, words slurred as he playfully nudged her side with an elbow.

She narrowed her eyes, "Was. Before you decided to come over."

"That hurts my feelings," Max challenged, invading her personal space even more.

Lena pushed him off, "You reek."

"C'mon, play nice, Luthor."

An arm snaked itself around her waist, then made its way much too close to her breast, another pinching her ass. She shuddered and angrily shoved the other boy off of her as well.

"You can back the fuck off too, Ben," she snarled, pivoting and using the momentum to swing her good arm wildly.

By the sound of the screech he made, she definitely hit a sore spot.

"You  _bitch_."

"Don't fucking touch me," she warned, a threat slipping out, "I'm a Luthor. I have money. I have power. I can make sure no colleges will accept you, that your athletic career will tank like your grades, and that there will be absolutely  _no_ future for—"

Lena's breath was taken from her when she felt the brute tackle her and slam her to the ground.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Ben hastily scrambled off of Lena as she desperately sipped for air.

"Hey," Lucy called out softly, helping her friend up, "You okay?"

"Fine," she managed to heave out, "Just caught me off guard. I'm a little winded."

"Thought you would've learned your lesson freshman year, but apparently not," Ben growled.

Lucy fumed, "Back off you little shit!  _You're_ the one that's been bullying Lena this entire time?" she scoffed, "Wait 'til Kara gets an earful of this you fucking—"

Lena reached out for her arm and grasped it softly, shaking her head, "They're not worth it."

Lucy frowned, twisting around to see the boys scramble off to the pool.

"Well, they're definitely not invited to any of my parties now."

"Lena!"

They turned to the voice and the Luthor forced a smile, "Kara. Hey."

"I just saw what happened and ran over," she stated, panting to catch her breath, "Who were those guys? I swear I'll..." she clenched her fists.

Lucy scoffed, "Tell me about it, those assholes were—"

Lena squeezed her arm, causing her to stop mid-sentence.

"Not anyone we really know, they were just drunk," Lena answered instead.

Kara's jaw dropped slightly, "That's no excuse! Did they touch you? Are you hurt?"

Her forced smile faltered a little, "I—"

"Oh my God, they  _did_ , didn't they!" she shouted, marching past them, "Those—"

"Hey," Lucy called out, stopping her with a hand to her shoulder, "It's fine. Just go back in and chill with your sister or something."

Kara was hesitant, "But Lena—"

"She's with me," Lucy reassured, "We'll join you later."

Her voice was reluctant, eyes darting between the two girls, "Alright. I'll see you guys inside."

Once she left, Lucy faced Lena and folded her arms, giving her a disappointed look, "Is there a reason you decided not to, well, I don't know,  _tell_  Kara about what happened?"

"She's going on another date with Ben."

" _So_?"

"So she likes him enough to go on another date with him, to give him another chance," Lena explained, "I'll give him the benefit of the doubt this time, he was probably just really intoxicated, and I know that's no excuse—"

"Uh,  _yeah_ , it's no excuse."

"—but let's just...can we leave it alone right now? Please? Just between us."

Lucy chuckled in disbelief, "You're kidding."

"When am I ever kidding?"

"Fuck," she shook her head, "Fine. We'll keep this incident isolated, but if I see or even hear about him touching you again I'm going to unleash hell on him and Max and those other shitheads."

"He won't try anything again," Lena concluded, "I think my threat might've gotten rid of him, but there's no guarantee that he'll stop running his mouth at me—him  _and_  Max."

"Yeah, not to mention you probably broke his nose, so he won't be messing with you for a while, or at least he won't be throwing any punches."

"I can deal with him otherwise," Lena reassured, "He'll be all bark and no bite. They're just words, I get them all the time."

Lucy shook her head and folded her arms, "I don't like this."

* * *

The first date went well, or from what Lena remembered—her focus ebbed the more Kara talked about Ben. In all honesty, it sounded desperate, like she was forcing herself to like him because he was just so sweet to her and gave her so many gifts. They went on a couple more dates, apparently they became an item.

Kara insisted he was improving, that his rude attitude towards other students was getting better.

Lena was partially unconvinced, because on one hand Kara was seeing change, and on the other hand Lena was hearing his harsh comments day after day and they never stopped nor ceased in their intensities.

Then Kara got too busy to spend time with everyone—Alex was the first, but granted, she was always with Maggie, then it was Lucy, then James and Mike and Winn, and then Lena herself.

But she refrained from stirring trouble, for Kara, but Lucy was less inclined to do that.

"Why do you just fucking  _stand_ there and take it?" she growled, "It's so  _infuriating_."

Lena retrieved her textbooks from her locker and shut it with a clang, "They're just words, Lucy."

"That doesn't mean they don't hurt," she scoffed, "You should at least stand up for yourself, don't let him mess with you."

Lena shook her head, "No, if I do that it'll go only one way, he'll worsen and make a scene—Mother will hear about it, and I'm trying to avoid any trouble with her."

Lucy's jaw clenched.

"You have to pick your battles," Lena sighed, "Mother is one I want to keep under wraps. And he's not worth it."

"But  _Kara is_. Do you really want her to date that asshole?"

"Of course not."

"Then why're you—"

"She likes him," Lena interjected curtly, "She sounds happy with him, she deserves that, even if it's temporary."

"She doesn't seem very happy with you avoiding her all the time."

Lena frowned, " _I'm_  busy.  _She's_ busy with Ben—I mean, she's bailed on all of us at least ten times already."

"Well, I guess you have a point there," Lucy rolled her eyes, "Look, I respect your decision to spare yourself the heartache, but avoiding Kara  _isn't_ the way to do it."

" _Fine_ , I'll text her and we'll hang out for a bit, that'll tide her over for long enough."

* * *

"Where's Alex?" Lena inquired, stepping into her friend's abode, shortening her cane and closing her umbrella—school was in its last week, and summer in the east coast was erratic, recently it was rainy, and today was pouring sheets of water.

Kara folded her arms and frowned, "With Maggie again. Eliza and Jeremiah are working late, they won't be home until around midnight. How's your arm by the way?"

"Fine," Lena winced at the bitter tone, "So, uh, just the two of us then?"

"Is that a problem?" she asked through gritted teeth.

She turned around and Lena followed after her, "No, it's not a problem."

It actually was, and it became prevalent when they were sitting on the far opposite ends of the couch, forcing themselves to pay attention to the movie.

It was painfully awkward.

Lena pressed her fingers at her watch again to feel what time it was; it was only ten and she wanted to avoid coming home when her mother would be awake.

"Eager to go?" came a rough voice, "You've been checking your watch every five minutes."

"Kara—"

"What's going on?" she asked, but her voice was quieter, "You've done this before, all the..." she sighed, "...all the running away. It's just this time you're  _really_  trying to avoid me. Did I do something wrong?"

"No," Lena placed her hand over Kara's and squeezing softly, "It's not your fault, I swear. It's just...complicated?"

"Is it your mom?" she murmured, the scorn was easy to hear.

Lena hesitated, Lillian was a part of her distress, but not the entirety of it.

"No."

Kara scoffed, pulled her hand away, "I can tell when you're lying."

The Luthor frowned, "Hey, please, she's only a part of it, okay?"

"We're  _friends_ , Lena, I only want to help you, but you're pushing me away!" Kara shot up from the couch and paced around the living room, "I get that you need space, I do. I've given you  _plenty_! You can't be the only one dictating this friendship!"

Lena nodded from the couch, "You're right, I'm sorry. You've only ever cared about my wellbeing and I've been acting ungrateful."

Kara groaned, "And I'll be happy to give you more space, but I can't now 'cause the reason why you need it this time is so blatantly 'cause of me!"

Lena rose from the cushions, "Kara, it's not y—"

"Yes, it is! You keep saying you're busy, but you're always hanging out with Lucy!"

The betrayal and confusion was evident in her voice.

"You're not the reason—"

"What  _other_  reason is there?" Kara shouted, " _I'm_  the only one that's being avoided! You're talking to Mike and Winn and even  _James_  more than me! It clearly screams that I did something!"

"It's  _Ben_ , okay?" Lena yelled, too riled up to control her volume, "And maybe it's you too!"

"Ben?" Kara repeated, softer.

Lena bit her lip, for a moment she considered confessing everything he did, from the assault during freshman year all the way to the unwanted groping during Lucy's party, to the verbal comments so cruel that they compared to Lillian.

" _No wonder no one likes you, your parents should've returned you the first chance they got."_

" _You only have friends 'cause they pity you."_

" _You're a disgusting fucking faggot."_

But she swallowed it down, replaced her answer with a partial truth.

"You always talk about him," she ranted, just below a shout, "Every single time we have a conversation he's always brought up. I get it, you like him, but that's not what made me avoid you. I invited you once, to hang out at the park, you bailed last minute. But then it kept happening,  _over and over_  again; I ask you if we can spend time together, you say yes, you bail... Then it eventually just became 'I'm going to get ice cream with Ben', 'I'm going to Ben's swimming competition, 'I'm grabbing lunch with Ben', 'sorry'. Rinse and repeat every time I text you.  _God_ , and it's not  _just_ me. It's Alex, James, Lucy, Mike, Winn," she chuckled humorlessly, ran her fingers through her dark hair, "I just got so  _sick_ of being rejected  _all the time_ , everyone else too, and by the last person I expected," she shook her head, "You have other friends, a boyfriend. I get that, and you can be with them, with him. I don't have that, Kara; you're the only person I'm close enough to hang out with, and while you were with Ben I got closer with Lucy. In all honesty, I thought you were too preoccupied to actually notice."

Lena pressed her hand to her eyes, but it did little to stop the tears spilling over.

"I'm leaving, the bus stop is coming soon, I need to go."

She extended her cane and grabbed her umbrella, rushing outside.

"Wait, Lena!" Kara chased her until they were outside, the rain drenching them.

She grabbed her arm, "Let's go back inside, it's getting late, it's pouring. Call a cab later, we can talk about this. We're friends."

Lena recoiled, "Maybe I don't want to be friends, Kara!"

That gave her pause.

"W-What do you—"

"I like you, okay?" she confessed, "As more than a friend. I want to hold hands with you, cuddle with you, kiss you, have a relationship like in those  _stupid_ cheesy romance movies with you. And I hate that, it's the most inconvenient thing that I've ever let happen to me! I'm always afraid I'm going to fuck up, but you know what, it was only a matter of time anyway, so let me just fuck up right now!"

There was a quiet moment, only the sound of rain and their heavy breaths from shouting permeated through.

Kara's expression contorted into one of confusion and anger, "Wh—how...how could you!"

Lena scoffed, "Excuse me?"

The blonde threw her hands in the air, began pacing around her front lawn with tiny splashes, "That's—what the heck, Lena! You weren't kidding when you said it was complicated!"

"When have I ever been simple? I'm not asking you to like me back, I respect that you're with Ben, that you're happy with him! All I'm asking is for things to get back to the way they were! We all just want to be able to spend time with you again and—"

"I'm not like  _you_ , Lena!" Kara shouted.

There was a moment of agonizing silence.

"Well that sounds a little homophobic," she snarled.

"You know that's not what I meant!"

Lena scoffed, the damp splashes Kara's frantic steps were making grated her ears, "How did you mean it then? The contempt and disgust were  _pretty_  noticeable in your—" she cut off, took a step closer, blindly reached out with her arm, "Would you just stop the annoying pacing for a minute so we can—"

"Just  _stop_!" Kara screamed, spinning sharply.

The momentum promptly shoved Lena to the ground, and she felt her elbow land at an unnatural angle, followed by a searing burn in the joint that spread outward.

" _Fuck_!"

She cradled her arm, hissed and blinked off more hot tears.

"Oh no. Lena, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"Don't touch me," she growled, scooting away before fumbling for her cane and standing up.

"Lena—"

"Fuck off, Kara. I get the message loud and clear, you don't want to have anything to do with me, but that's fine," her voice wavered, "'Cause the feeling's mutual."

"No, please—"

"I'm going to be late for the bus. See you next year," Lena snapped coldly, storming off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Constructive criticism appreciated.**


	4. Note

I am delaying the final chapter because I recently started university majoring in engineering and Russian as well as the fact that I have guests over to cater to. I will post perhaps tomorrow or some time this week if my job and classes are more merciful. The last chapter is also much longer than the rest, but you guys have plenty of other fics to tide you over until then. Thanks for reading!


	5. Senior: New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Senior year is long and hard for Kara and Lena who are sad and angry respectively. Drama ensues and angst is ripe and plentiful. (With a happy ending and sexytimes)._
> 
> **TRIGGER WARNINGS: ABLEISM, ABUSE, BULLYING, AND HOMOPHOBIA.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hey, guys, I'm back! Turns out university was a lot busier than I anticipated for the first week of settling in, especially since I'm going to try and triple major, one of them being engineering and the other being a foreign language.**
> 
> **I realize that there are "plot holes" in this story, which was actually planned because I'm going to be writing another series to go with this one in Kara's perspective (and maybe Lena's as well) to fill in "missing scenes" in smaller chapters. So if you feel as if something wasn't addressed in this final chapter, it'll likely be in the upcoming series, like Ben and Lillian. If the next series continues not to touch upon something you're curious about, feel free to contact me. I also apologize for this 16,000 worded monster of a chapter.**
> 
> **Find me on Tumblr at spoopercorp and on FF as Local-Asshole.**
> 
> **Chapter Theme: New Beginning by Astrid Holiday.**

# Senior: New Beginning

* * *

_"Hey. Winn's having a summer birthday bash this weekend."_

_There was silence from the other line._

_Lucy sighed, "He'd love to have you over, and maybe you and Kara can talk about what happened that last week of school a few days ago. It's going to be a small gathering, just me, Alex, Maggie, Winn, James, and Kara, plus you if you decide to come."_

_"Can't."_

_"Why not?" Lucy asked gruffly._

_"Tell Winn I'm sorry. I'm too busy for his birthday," Lena replied evenly, "No, scratch that," her voice trembled a fraction, "I'm too busy the whole summer."_

_Lucy scoffed, "'The whole summer'? Look, I know you and Kara had a misunderstanding—"_

_"It wasn't a misunderstanding. Kara was clear about how repulsive I am."_

_"I'm sure there was some miscommunication, but avoiding us for an entire summer and probably the rest of your life? That's pretty drastic if I do say so myse—"_

_"I'm leaving. Soon."_

_"What?"_

_"Out of state. For the summer."_

_Her sentences were choppy, painfully succinct._

_"Okay, I take my previous statement back—_ this _is the most drastic—"_

_"It's not 'cause of Kara," Lena interrupted curtly, "The most drastic measure I'd use is trying to avoid her, not move to another state."_

_Lucy paused, almost in disbelief, "Well, what else would—"_

_"I'm going to a camp," she said softly, "Maybe it'll be good for me. Maybe it'll help me get rid of this...infantile crush I have on Kara."_

_"Camp?" Lucy snickered, "Sorry, you just don't seem social enough to want to go to a summer camp."_

_"It was Mother's idea. She thinks it'll be good for me, and I think she might be right."_

_Lucy's tone morphed into one of confusion, "I'm not catching on h—"_

_"It's a conversion camp."_

_There was another moment of silence._

_"What the...what the_ fuck _?" Lucy shouted, "She's_ forcing _you to go through that shit?"_

_Lena chuckled dryly, "It didn't take much force in all honesty."_

_A pause._

_"I'll be going through reparative therapy there."_

_She scoffed, "That's what they call it?"_

_"They'll fix me."_

_Lucy took a moment to herself, to comprehend what her friend had just said, "You can't fix something that's not broken. You're just desperate, Lena. You feel cornered. You can't go, we can help you, you shouldn't feel ashamed—Ben's an ass."_

_"Ben's family also recently made it to the board for LuthorCorp 'cause of their shares, I can't do anything about that ass," Lena explained, "Unless you want to get your law and debating skills to go up against his influential family and my powerful multibillionaire C.E.O. of a mother."_

_"Just—don't do this, don't go to the camp yet. Let's talk, okay?" Lucy implored._

_"They say it works," Lena said, though her own tone sounded unconvinced with all of their guarantees._

_"Oh, yes, it_ definitely  _works," Lucy growled out sarcastically, "They're all straight by the time they fucking kill themselves."_

_Lena flinched, "It's out of my hands now, I'm sorry."_

_Lucy shook her head and took a deep breath, made a sound akin to sniffling, "You're an idiot. Fine. I'll call or text you or something."_

_A sigh, "I won't have a phone either, you can't check up on me."_

_Lucy rolled her eyes, "Of course, those bastards. Are you going to be safe? From your wardens?"_

_"I should be fine."_

_"What about from your mom?"_

_"She hasn't tried anything recently."_

_"'Recently'," Lucy deadpanned._

_"It's always mostly been bruises, nothing major. She's not...horribly physically abusive. And maybe she feels like she can stop trying 'cause of the camp she's sending me to."_

_There was another long stretch of silence._

_"I'm assuming you don't want me to tell the others about this," Lucy grumbled._

_Lena frowned, "You're correct in that assumption. Just tell them my mother's being more...protective—"_

_Lucy snorted at the choice of vocabulary._

_"—over me. That she's taken away my phone and the rest of my socializing privileges while I accompany her to a business trip over the summer, to see if I'll be able to take the mantle of Luthor Corp. That sounds believable."_

_"It sounds a lot like running away."_

_"Maybe you're right."_

* * *

Drained. Hollow. Tired.

Those were the top three words Lena used to describe herself after she came back to Midvale, came back to the mansion, away from the awful clutches of that camp she suffered through.

She noticed that one of the words she thought would be on that list was not on it.

Ashamed.

She did not feel that.

Lena was always confident in her abilities, in her intelligence and the way she carried herself, never timid in the face of others—unless of course, one of them got physical with her.

She did not succumb to the therapy's more assertive attempts to dissuade her from liking women.

But she did fall into a sort of...different mindset; she could only describe it as floating aimlessly in a very uncomfortable, lukewarm pool and drowning for eternity.

All the fight in Lena left her body, and maybe that was their plan all along, to break down her will, but she could not bring herself to feel angry, sad, disappointed, because it was just perpetual exhaustion every single day.

There was always that inkling of self-hatred Lena had, but now it ebbed into the background of her life and no longer kept her awake at night, haunting her. Instead, it chained weights to her feet and dragged her down a little, but she was strong enough to carry them.

It was different, because she was never in-tune with her feelings, almost never expressed them like a 'normal' person. However, after the camp, all those times she recalled where she reacted with emotions seemed so very dramatic.

Now especially, Lena never knew what she was feeling, always unsure and always numb to any stimuli in any form.

But then a familiar voice would sink into her thoughts, abrupt, and its melodic cadence would send her reeling with  _some_  sort of emotion. That voice always haunted her in the first few weeks of the camp, but now it was almost nonexistent—she no longer remembered its tone properly, and maybe it was because she forced herself to forget.

Lena softly sighed under the tree, laying down in some remote park, basking herself in the warm little splotches of sunlight that peeked past the leaves.

She missed part of the first week of her senior year in high school, four out of five of the weekdays in a row. She did turn in some of her assignments online though, perhaps not her best work, but it would hold her out. Maybe she would go tomorrow, Friday, then she could catch up, then she could slump into her bed and sleep away the rest of the weekend.

"You okay?"

Lena turned and nodded, gave half a smile.

Every action that was supposed to convey emotion felt empty, because no matter how hard she tried to put feeling into them, there would be nothing she could give, so her reactions were only out of necessity—she tried to keep socializing to a minimum.

"You sure?"

"I'm fine, Jack."

Then there was him.

Jack Spheer.

Her boyfriend.

Or beard, that title fit his position in her life more, maybe a close friend as well.

Lillian was fooled into thinking the conversion camp worked, and solidified with Lena's fake boyfriend.

* * *

"Ms. Luthor."

Lena nodded in the direction of the voice, still standing within the frame of the classroom door, "Sorry I'm late, Ms. Grant."

The woman narrowed her eyes, "Half of the lecture to be exact. Take a seat, this is a relatively small class, most of the back is empty."

Lena moved, grabbed the first desk that was vacant and plopped onto it.

She could feel the gazes trained on her, and she had a vague feeling it was probably the fact that she looked a bit disheveled, or 'wildly bad girl material' as Jack had said, and the expensive leather jacket and aviators did not help with countering that image. She was no longer the prim and proper Luthor trying to uphold the family's reputation with her previously neat appearance.

She ran her pale fingers through her unruly hair to tame it and sighed.

She fell asleep within the first ten minutes.

Lena startled from her nap, blinked the grogginess away when the bell blared.

"Ms. Luthor."

"Yes?"

"Stay after class. I need to speak to you. Everyone else is dismissed."

She frowned, gathered her supplies into her backpack while the other students filed out before striding to the front, leaning on one of the desks and folding her arms.

"First week of school. Four consecutive absences overall, two consecutive absences from my class. They weren't excused—you sluffed. Period. Now it's Friday. This is absolutely ridiculous," Ms. Grant scolded, "And your work, I've spoken with your other teachers, and judging from your polished record the previous three years, this is unacceptable. You're an  _exemplary_  student, no obstacles can hinder your ambitions—you're probably one of the top three  _and_  you're the only blind student in this school."

Ms. Grant shook her head and sighed in disappointment, "But you're currently riding on grades that are 'Cs' and lower. You  _need_  to start taking your last year seriously, being a senior isn't an excuse, and neither is your blindness—you've done better than ninety-nine percent of the student body without uttering a single complaint while the rest continue to fool around and whine about how much homework their core classes are handing them. It's hard not to be a little concerned."

Lena shuffled her feet absentmindedly, "There's nothing wrong."

The woman looked the girl from the foot up, skeptical, "We have a counseling center if—"

"I'm fine," she interrupted, "I understand, Ms. Grant."

"Do you?"

There was a moment of silence.

The teacher sighed, "You're dismissed, I'll write a tardy note for your next class. I'll see you next time, if you decide not to sluff."

She scribbled on a small note before handing it to Lena, then her attention turned to another student at the door.

"What is it, Kiera? You know eavesdropping is looked down upon."

The girl squeaked, "Oh, I wasn't—it's Kara by the way, but..."

She trailed off.

Lena stiffened at the familiar voice, but her features hardened into stone, and she moved past the girl, brushing shoulders as she left.

"Lena, wait."

She kept walking.

The majority of her time at school was spent avoiding Kara, and Lucy, and everyone else. It was easy to memorize the routine, to know which way to take and how long to wait in the bathroom before it was guaranteed that there would be no confrontation.

Lena should have known better, if there was no encounter at school, there would be one outside of it.

And it had to be at the Luthor mansion.

She was on her bed, tired but unable to sleep with all the thoughts that ran through her mind: school, Lillian, Jack, Kara, homework...all jumbled up into one confusing mess.

Until the doorbell rang.

Lena was partially thankful for the distraction, but groaned when she realized she had to leave the comfort and isolation of her room.

It was probably Jack, coming to insist they try a popular eatery nearby, and it was because of him that Lillian did not have any qualms with Lena skipping classes and butchering her grades.

Because she would rather have a straight delinquent of a daughter than an intelligent lesbian of a daughter.

Lena was still rubbing her eyes of exhaustion when she reached the door and pulled it open.

"Jack, I'm busy sulking right n—"

"Who's Jack?"

She froze, moved to quickly shut the door before a foot propped it open.

"Lena," Kara implored, wrenching the door wider, "Can we  _please_  ta—"

"No," she cut in, narrowing her eyes before attempting to shut the entrance again, to no avail.

"You know," Lena seethed, "When I try to slam the door in your face twice, I'm pretty positive that's your cue to leave me the fuck alone. Let's try this again. Third time's the charm. I hope you do your part correctly."

She tugged again, but the door would not budge from its position, Kara's grip on the edge too strong.

Lena growled, straightened herself into a painfully stiff stance and folded her arms, "Of course," she sighed heavily, "Make this quick."

Kara frowned, "Please, I just—," a pause, "When was the last time you've eaten? You look—"

"That's none of your business," Lena scowled.

"I'm worried about you, I've  _been_  worried about you."

"You don't need to concern yourself with me. I'm fine."

"But we're—"

"Friends? Please," Lena rolled her eyes, "Remember when I told you to fuck off? After you broke my arm? Yeah, that still applies," a simultaneously angry and sad look crossed her features, then she scoffed, "Goodbye, Kara. This was a lovely conversation."

"No, please—"

"Lena?"

They both froze at the voice, and the Luthor hastily fortified her composure, her spine ramrod straight, "Yes, Mother?"

Lillian joined the two girls, by her daughter's side.

"Who's this?"

"A classmate," Lena said, "She was just leaving."

Kara opened her mouth, then closed it again, defeated.

"Right, I guess I'll just go" she turned towards her former friend, a hopeful expression on her face, "Bye, Lena. I'll see you at school."

She nodded her head tersely before shutting the door with a loud thud.

"I thought we talked about the rules with...female visitors," Lillian spoke coolly.

Lena tensed, "We did, she just hasn't left me alone since—"

Her mother's hand connected with her cheek, a harsh slap echoing through the empty mansion.

The action only made her stiffen more and she felt the habitual apology spill from her lips, "I'm sorry, Mother."

Lena flinched when the woman's hand reached up to stroke her cheek with the back of her hand.

"Go to your room, Darling."

She darted past Lillian and raced up the stairs.

* * *

It was only a matter of time before people started noticing that the most famous and most infamous two girls at school were no longer friends, and it did not take long for the gossip to start back up.

Their estrangement was quickly exploited to torment Lena.

"I just want to get to cla—oof!"

She huffed from the second time being shoved into the lockers.

"I don't think so, Luth—"

"I'm really not in the mood to mess around," she spat before headbutting the boy.

He shouted and stumbled back and Lena took advantage of the opening to gain the upper hand, tackling him and resuming their brawl on the ground.

He landed a punch to her face, leaving her dazed and sent another to her stomach, then her chest as she wildly swung her hands.

"Get your hands off of her!"

Lena frowned at the sound of Kara's voice, followed promptly by a loud crash and a scuffle as the boy fled, as well as the onlookers.

Lena rose, winced from the pain on her forehead, bringing her hand up only to pull it away with something wet and a little viscous.

"Are you okay?" Kara asked, her tone laced with immense worry as she placed a hand on her friend's arm.

Lena backed away, a low growl uttering from her throat, "I was handling it."

Kara scoffed, "Seriously? You call  _that_  'handling it'? You were getting your butt kicked! You can't expect to get a hit in just punching randomly—"

"Well, I  _am_  blind," Lena chuckled sarcastically and brushed herself off, "And again, that's none of your concern."

"Of course it's my concern! Stop being so difficult!"

"If you'd leave me alone then maybe that difficulty will—"

"I just want to talk!"

Kara was fuming, Lena could tell that much, and the girl was rarely provoked into anger, but it seemed she was one of the very few people who could piss her off.

"Well," Lena shrugged, pointing to the direction the boy fled, her tone nonchalant, "That guy was first, so get in line if you want to lecture me. When it's your turn, you can break my arm like the last time we 'talked'."

The low blow silenced Kara for several seconds.

"I'm not—I didn't mean to," she whispered, "I swear. Y-You  _know_  I didn't mean to—"

Lena chuckled dryly, "Yeah. Sure."

Before Kara could reply, Ms. Grant caught them idling in the hallway and criticism easily escaped her mouth.

"I don't know what's going on between you two, but take it somewhere else!"

Then she turned to Lena, "And  _you_ , your little fight with Devlin...you're lucky your record here is spotless, but you'll still be serving detention after school today."

She shrugged the statement off and pulled her backpack over her shoulder, "See you tomorrow, Ms. Grant."

She stormed off without a word to Kara.

* * *

"Bad day at school?"

"The usual," Lena replied, linking her arm with Jack before walking away.

"The entire school is staring at us," he whispered into her ear after a moment.

"Good, maybe the Lena 'lesbian' Luthor rumors will stop," she commented.

"Hey, let's just sit down for a minute," he suggested, voice soft, leading them to an empty bench on the sidewalk.

"What's up?" he inquired, "You've been out of sorts lately. Or at least more so."

Silence.

"Is it that Kara girl?" he asked.

Lena shook her head and sighed, "I don't know, Jack. I'm just tired."

"Well, let's get you home quickly so you can get some shut-eye and—"

"I'm not talking about  _that_ kind of tired," she added, "Just..." she kicked the gravel beneath her feet, "I've been sleeping. A lot. But I'm still exhausted all the time. There's no energy, no motivation. I haven't been as hungry. I'm doing poorly in school and scribbling nonsense on my homework."

"Are you taking more extra-curriculars and rushing?" Jack asked, "You're president for a handful of high school student organizations. Maybe you need to back off a few."

Lena shook her head, "Yeah, a little more clubs than I've ever had, but there's less schoolwork since I basically finished all of my credits. Logically, I should be able to deal with all..." she waved a hand, "... _this_."

"Well, you're for sure smart enough to ace in any class," Jack complimented, "So maybe the problem is that you're not trying? Is something holding you back?"

Lena's shoulders drooped, "Should I drop out? Of school?"

Jack's worry skyrocketed, "Why would you even consider that? You're just giving up?"

Lena shrugged, "I don't know. Everyone hates me—the Luthors. My grades are tanking, which is my fault, but I don't really care. And that's—that's scary, that I just feel so indifferent all the time. I can barely get up for school, sometimes I don't even go. I just want to stay in bed all day or indulge in some other distraction—"

"Wait, are you telling me that you had classes all those times we hung out?"

"Focus."

"Right," Jack frowned, narrowed his eyes, "We'll talk about that later."

"Maybe I can just transfer if dropping out sounds too drastic," Lena suggested.

" _Both_ of them are pretty drastic."

"Which one is  _less_  drastic though?"

He sighed, wrapped his arm around her shoulders, "Are you depressed?"

"N-No, I'm—I'm not..."

"It was the camp, wasn't it?"

Lena deflected, forcing the topic to swerve into a more humorous direction, "Or the fact that I'm the product of infidelity. Or the sex with Veronica isn't that great. Well, I guess being unable to see puts a damper on things."

"Focus," Jack echoed, though his furrowed brows loosened at the lighter comment, "Wait, you're still with her?"

"Not 'with' her," Lena shrugged, kicking the concrete, "We agreed on being fuck buddies, nothing more."

"Do you want something more?"

She shook her head, "I don't want her."

"You want Kara."

Lena tensed, quick to evade answering, "What I want is a bottle of whiskey. Or anything that'll knock me unconscious."

His arm fell from her shoulders, and her ears twitched at the sound of him unzipping his oversized bag as he perused its contents.

"Well, I've got my baseball bat from practice—"

"Something I can  _drink_ , Jack," she smirked, folding her arms.

"I don't have whiskey at my place though."

"Vodka works too."

He grimaced, "You have really strong taste in alcohol."

"What can I say? I can hold my liquor."

"I've seen," he rubbed at his head and throat gingerly, "And I think I got a migraine and felt my throat melt just watching you drink all that rum and tequila that one day."

"It was an impressive feat, wasn't it?" she grinned.

"Impressive indeed, but the next day wasn't too pretty with the hangover. Talk about unhealthy coping mechanisms."

"Ugh," Lena shut her eyes, "Don't remind me."

"C'mon," Jack grinned and patted her back, "Let's grab a bite. We have to cure this serious case of senioritis."

"Seniorosis," Lena corrected, "You're smarter than this, Jack."

"Unfortunately, it looks like depression doesn't nullify the smart assery part of you," he grumbled.

"I'm not depressed!"

* * *

Lena grunted when her back hit the stall with a hard slam.

She heard the door swing closed and the lock turn.

"Did we just decide to ditch the middle of class to—"

"To fuck?" Veronica finished, swiping her tongue across the hollow of Lena's throat and sucking roughly, smirking at the groan.

"D-Don't you think this is a little bit unsanitary?" Lena inquired breathily.

She let out a tiny squeak when a thigh was shoved in between her legs.

"Nothing about what we're doing is sanitary," Veronica chuckled, "Besides, we've fucked in plenty of different places before: bed, car, desk, wall, floor—"

"But not in a bathroom stall right next to a goddamn  _toilet_ ," Lena whispered harshly.

"It's not like you can see it," Veronica stepped back and rolled her eyes, "Do you want to come or not?"

She folded her arms, and when there was no answer she made for the lock.

Lena was quick to grab her hips and press their bodies back together before her hands slipped lower to squeeze her ass.

Veronica gasped at the sensation before a wide grin plastered on her face, "How daring of you. I like it when you're brazen."

She resumed assaulting Lena's neck, simultaneously unclasping the belt and unzipping the fly, dipping her fingers past the waistband of her underwear.

Lena threw her head back and Veronica took the opportunity to nip into her flesh.

She hissed, "You're really a biter, aren't you?"

"Are you asking me to stop?"

Lena forced the girl's hand further into her pants and bucked her hips.

Veronica smirked and wiggled her fingers at the wetness, "Hm, I didn't think so."

In hindsight, they should have probably been a little quieter with the panting and grunting, but Lena was too focused on releasing her stress rather than concentrating how loud their voices or the thumps against the stalls were.

Several beads of sweat trickled down her temples, "I'm almost—"

"Shhh," Veronica whispered, covering her mouth with her hand to muffle her sounds.

Lena shut her eyes tightly and bit into her bottom lip, bracing herself. She thrusted wildly, faster, no longer matching Veronica's pace.

"Hello?"

They froze and Lena resisted the urge to groan in disappointment and tell the intruder to fuck off.

Veronica hastily removed her fingers, earning her a whine that fell involuntarily from her partner's lips, and the pleasure gradually ebbed away.

"Um..."

Veronica composed herself and unlocked the stall, stepping out and looking to the side, giving the girl a shameless smile. There was a quiet clank of metal and she glanced back at Lena, who successfully buckled her belt in record time and moved to escape.

"Your fly is down, babe."

Lena halted in her tracks.

The statement was flagrantly embarrassing, but judging by the tone, Veronica was very much amused.

Lena, on the other hand, was very much not, but there was time to yell at her later. She spun around and audibly zipped her fly up, not bothering to fix the flyaway strands from her ponytail.

Veronica grinned, moving towards the exit, "Bathroom is all yours."

"Uh, thanks..."

Lena's eyes widened at the familiar voice, still hidden behind the stall.

_You've got to be kidding me._

The situation was inevitable anyway, so she straightened her posture and held her chin high, striding fully out from the stall to follow Veronica.

" _Lena_?"

There was disbelief and a little bit of mortification in the tone.

She ignored Kara and walked past, giving away no hesitation.

"You owe me an orgasm by the way," Veronica smiled, nudging her with her elbow.

"I didn't even  _get_  one!" Lena complained, "I can't believe I have to spend the rest of the day sexually frustrated."

"But  _my_  hands still have your—"

"Don't even finish that sentence."

Veronica shrugged, smirking as she sucked two fingers and released them with a loud pop, "Mmm, I can save it for later then."

"You're disgusting, Sinclair."

"I try my best, Luthor. Want to head back to my place and finish up?"

"Right now? We still have the last half of our classes today, and I need to keep my grades stable."

"Lunch is starting in a few minutes anyway. Besides," Veronica turned and trailed her fingers up Lena's arm to her shoulder, to her neck to lightly pull at the hair there. Her voice dropped low, seductive and sultry, "If missing class bothers you so much, you can just go back after a quickie—you know my house isn't far from here anyway. The weather isn't going to be as warm, it's going to be winter in a month, we can't have our little arrangement as often once it gets colder," she suggestively scratched the nape of Lena's neck, "I'm not too willing to trek through three feet of snow just to get some pussy."

"Hm, tempting, I'll take you up on your offer."

"Great."

Then Veronica leaned into Lena's ear.

"I'm loving the leather tank top by the way," she whispered, her index finger pressing a sensual line down the valley of Lena's breasts.

Veronica's puff of breath sent a shiver down her spine and then she was promptly dragged out of the building. They were able to make it to the empty front lawn of the school before an angry shout rang from the entrance behind them.

" _Lena Luthor_!" Kara screamed.

"Shit, keep walking," she mumbled to Veronica.

"Get your butt back over here!"

Lena groaned and pivoted.

"Looks like you got the local sweetheart to snap," Veronica smirked, "I've never seen her so furious."

"Thanks for the input," Lena grumbled, "Go on ahead without me, I'll catch up later."

"She looks like she prepared a speech for you, I'm not sure you'll be able to catch up."

"Wait for me up ahead then."

"Sounds like a plan."

Lena heard Veronica's footsteps recede in the distance, but Kara's stomping was getting louder and louder.

A finger jabbed into the center of her chest.

"I've had it with you!"

Lena narrowed her eyes, knocking the arm off with her hand, "Fascinating, are we done here?"

Kara's eyes widened comically and she stuttered out, " _Wh_ - _What_? Are we—you—' _are we done here_ '? No! No, we're  _not_  done here! We're the exact  _opposite_  of being done here!"

"Then can you get on with it?" Lena said gruffly, folding her arms protectively around herself, "I'm a little short on time."

"Fine.  _Fine_. I'll 'get on with it'," Kara growled, " _You_  are being a huge jerkface! You're pushing me away! You're pushing everyone away! Lucy, Winn, even James, we're all worried about you!"

"My life isn't any of your concerns," Lena shot back coldly.

"We're  _friends_! Of course it is!" Kara rebuked, "You're doing awful in school—"

Lena shrugged, "School got harder."

"I beg to differ," Kara scoffed, "You're a genius and you mostly have 'D's', your highest grade is a 'C'—"

"Well, at least they're not F's, but you know all this how exactly?"

"Th-That's beside the point!" she sputtered, "Anyway, you're also sluffing to go out with that boy and your... _girlfriend_ all the time!"

Lena clenched her jaw, not bothering to correct Kara about her relationship status, especially since she sounded very hostile when she spat the word 'girlfriend' out.

There was a pause.

"I'm just worried about you..." she sniffed, voice breaking.

Lena's ears perked up at how tiny she sounded, her tone laced with pain, and her heartbeat hastened in slight panic.

"Oh fuck. Please don't cry. I've been a really shitty person lately, I'm sorry."

Lena made a cautious step, and suddenly Kara threw her arms around her, the embrace almost suffocating, and she awkwardly returned the hug.

"Can we try and be friends again?" Kara begged into the girl's shoulder, "I know it'll take time to get back to the way we were, but I'm willing to try. Are you?"

Lena reluctantly nodded after a moment, "Y-Yeah. Of course. I'll make it up to you."

Kara pulled away, wiping her tears with her sleeve, "I missed you."

Lena forced a small smile, but did not say anything back.

Kara ended up breaking the silence again, her voice unsteady, "I didn't mean to hurt you that day, I was overwhelmed. I know it isn't an excuse, but I need to explain—"

Lena frowned, it was still a sore topic for her, and she felt an uncomfortable ache in her arm at the reminder. She subconsciously reached for her elbow with her other hand and rubbed it as the memories flooded back.

"No need to," she interrupted, the smile her lips made was even more forced than before, "It's fine. Sorry, but I need to get going."

Kara frowned, shoulders dropping, "Uh, yeah. Okay. I guess I'll see you later then?"

"Luthor!" Veronica beckoned in the distance.

"Coming!" Lena replied, missing the deep, possessive growl Kara made.

"You sure will be," Veronica quipped in her ear.

She jumped, eyes widening at the very audible and very lewd reply as she turned to the side, "Seriously?"

"C'mon, babe," she tugged at Lena's waist and glanced at Kara, "Sorry, Danvers. I'm going to borrow her now," she nodded to a group of people near the entrance, "Looks like your friends are waiting for you too."

"It's fine," Kara said, gritting her teeth, eye twitching, "We just got finished here anyway."

Lena was promptly dragged away.

Veronica hummed, "She was glaring at me the entire time, looked like she wanted to throw me into space, especially when I called you 'babe'."

"No way, she's too nice for that."

"Sure, explains why her face was so red and there was steam coming out of her ears," she chuckled sarcastically, "Are you sure she doesn't like you?"

"Positive," Lena answered.

"Are you sure she's straight then?"

"She pretty much vehemently denied being into girls the last time we talked, so yeah," Lena shrugged, hiding the pain with a casual and nonchalant expression, "And she sounded pretty appalled when she referred to you as my girlfriend."

Veronica snickered, " _Girlfriend_? You're kidding."

Lena chuckled as well, "Right?"

"Did you guys make up? It seemed sort of tense."

"More or less," she quickened her pace, "Let's go, it's kind of chilly out here."

"Who decided to wear a leather tank top during fall?" Veronica jibed.

"Who refuses sex when someone's outfit isn't aesthetically pleasing?" Lena mocked.

"I'm sorry, no one can be lucky enough to not see how unkempt your appearance was the first time; a hoodie and sweatpants aren't sexy at all."

Lena tilted her head, "They  _feel_  relatively sexy."

"You're lucky you're 'relatively' attractive then," Veronica scoffed, gesturing to her tight red gown, "So was this outfit all for nothing?"

"Not  _all_ for nothing. Silk always feels nice. I'm just hoping the zipper on this dress will be easier to find than the last one."

* * *

When Lena agreed to mend her bond with Kara, she did not think it would be so soon nor so abrupt.

Neither of them even intended for it to happen, but Lena just happened to be around the campus when Kara came out of the schooL.

"Hi."

Lena turned, her hand gripping even tighter to her cane at the girl's presence.

"Hey," she returned.

She gave a crooked, tight-lipped smile.

"How are you?"

"Fine," Lena supplied shortly, "You?"

Her jaw clenched when Kara's voice lost its confidence and became timid at the curt answer.

"Oh. That's...good. I just finished soccer practice..."

She quieted, not completely replying to Lena's question, but judging how Kara's mood dropped, it probably was not going to be the most positive answer.

"Sweetie," a woman called out gently.

"Hi, Mom," Kara greeted, her position next to her friend remained stable.

"Oh! Lena!" Eliza gasped in surprise.

"We haven't seen you in so long!" Jeremiah chuckled.

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Danvers."

"You can just call us Jeremiah and Eliza, kiddo," the man hummed.

"It'd be a pleasure to have you over, if you're not doing anything for the holiday," Eliza said, "I know your mother is awfully busy."

Lena had only talked to Kara's folks a handful of times, only exchanging greetings and superficial informalities and small details. She did not think she was close enough to warrant the spontaneous invite to their Thanksgiving dinner. It was so sudden that she stood speechless for several seconds.

Lena felt Kara stiffen at the mention of Lillian, her spine uncomfortably ramrod straight, and from Eliza's inflection, she at least had a hunch about the Luthor's home life.

"You won't be the only odd one out either," Jeremiah added, "Alex is bringing over Maggie once their break starts. Our friends Mr. John Jones and Ms. Megan Moors are going to be there too, the J.R.O.C.T. and history teachers."

Lena was internally screaming at this point.

_What the fuck am I going to do?_

_If I say no, Kara might be upset._

_If I say yes, I'm going to subject myself to the most awkward and embarrassing experience of my entire life._

It was honestly no competition; hearing Kara cry is the worst sound she had ever had the displeasure of listening to.

"Of course, I'm not doing anything over the break, I'd be happy to spend it with all of you."

* * *

Apparently Alex and Maggie were a thing. Like a romantic thing according to Eliza and Jeremiah, and Lena could only smirk as they told her, the expression she wore communicating something along the lines of 'I knew it, took them long enough'. She pondered for a moment at how Kara thought about the new development with Alex, but the moment she felt a dark mood begin to sculpt her expression into a scowl, she distracted herself.

Lena sat at the table, adjacent to Kara after they finished setting up for the dinner, only waiting for the Danvers to come home with groceries to cook and the rest of the guests to arrive.

They were alone. Together.

After several minutes of mind-numbing silence, Kara leaned over, "I swear I didn't tell my parents about our disagreement. I mean, they noticed we weren't talking as much and probably caught on that something was up, but I didn't—"

"It was more of a fight or an argument than a 'disagreement'," Lena snapped.

"Well I'm sure you get into a lot of those with your  _girlfriend_ ," Kara ground out.

"What the hell does Veronica have to do with this? And she's  _not_  my girlfriend," Lena hissed.

"I—what?" Kara pulled back slightly, her cadence softening to something that felt like relief, "She's not?"

"No?"

"But she called you 'babe'."

"She calls pretty much everyone that."

"But you guys had sex in the—"

"Friends with benefits."

"What?"

"Fuck buddies. We're fuck buddies, Kara. Nothing romantic or glamorous about it," Lena rolled her eyes, switching the topic with gritted teeth, "So. How's Ben?"

"I...I actually wanted to talk to you about that..." Kara mumbled, "We broke up."

Lena's lips parted in shock, "Oh. Um. How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine actually," Kara said, "I broke up with him."

" _You_  broke up with him," Lena echoed.

"I broke up with him," Kara repeated, nodding.

"And you're telling me this 'cause..."

Lena waited patiently as her friend gathered her thoughts.

"Ben was bullying you, right?" Kara murmured, "He was that guy from freshman year? And the guy from the party?"

Lena pressed her lips shut and shifted away, "Something tells me you already know the answer."

Kara's voice cracked, "I'm sorry. Why didn't you tell me? You know you could've told me, right?"

Lena grimaced, continuing to avoid directing her body towards her friend. She felt the anger in the pit of her stomach flare, "No. I couldn't have."

The comment was unnecessary, cold. Her chest felt like it caved in from the sad whimper Kara made.

"I'm sorry I made you feel like that. Feel like you couldn't tell me," she whispered shakily, "And I'm so sorry that Ben—"

"He's not your responsibility, yet  _you're_  apologizing for  _his_ mistakes?" Lena scoffed, her tone dark and cruel, and the words that flooded from her lips were relentless, "For when he beat me up freshman year? For when he insulted me every day? Attacking me, my sexuality, my family, my lack of friends? For when he couldn't keep his hands to himself at the party?  _His_  family invests in LuthorCorp's stock!  _He_ makes a scene and  _I_ deal with the consequences from my mother! Speaking of the devil, I can't do anything about her either! She'll take  _everything_  away from me if I step out of line! Not to mention I'm eighteen! I'll have nothing! I'm trapped 'cause of my own mother and that prick!"

A tear ran down Kara's eye and she flinched with every ruthless comment snarled out.

"So much for fucking 'improvement'," she spat, "If you think your words will make me forgive him—"

Kara raised her voice, "I  _know_ you won't forgive him!"

Lena's eyes widened at the change in volume, but furrowed together shortly after, her amplitude rising as well, "Then why are you telling me all this?"

"'Cause _I don't_ ," Kara screamed.

The sound of a shattered plate followed, chased after by the rattle of the table from the strength of her wrathful fists.

Lena sat there in shock, finally turning to face her friend's direction.

"Kara?" she called out softly, and she clasped her fingers together, cursing her hands for shaking in the aftermath of the loud noise.

A part of herself steeled for a physical punishment, years of abuse under Lillian conditioning her so.

" _I_ don't forgive him, Lena..." Kara whispered, heaving ragged breaths to calm herself down, "I  _hate_  him. And I reported him."

Lena short-circuited.

Kara Danvers did not 'hate' anyone.

"Did he..." her stomach flipped, "Did he do anything to you?"

Kara shook her head, "No. But he hurt  _you_."

She sniffed, and Lena heard the clank of the plate's shards being gathered and footsteps receding into the direction of the kitchen.

A moment slipped by until Lena resolved to stand up and make her way to Kara. She followed the sound of running water to the area of the sink and tentatively raised her hand, placing it on her friend's arm and squeezing softly.

"I don't know how long he'll be gone," Kara breathed shakily, "I didn't use your name, but he was harassing other girls too, so I notified the school and they're dealing with him right now."

"I'm sorry. I messed up," Lena frowned, "Thank you, for what you did."

Her heart sank when Kara shrugged off her touch, but the next second Lena was tackled into a suffocating hug.

"Could you, you know, give me a warning before you attack me?" she laughed.

Kara chuckled with her.

"Girls! We're back! Let's get cookin'!" Jeremiah shouted from the entrance.

Eliza walked into the kitchen with a grin, "Lena, you should come over more often, Kara told us to buy some kale. I think you're a good influence."

Lena tilted her head, "She did?"

Kara's hand reached up to squeeze her shoulder, "I did."

"What happened to your hand, Sweetie?" Eliza fretted.

"Oh, I dropped a plate and cut myself when I tried to clean up," she laughed nervously.

"You're such a klutz."

Kara squealed, "Alex! Maggie!"

"Hey!" a pause, "Hey to you too, Lena."

The gruff deliverance from the older Danvers was enough to give her the idea that the fight from junior year was most definitely a topic between the sisters.

* * *

Their relationship... _improved_.

If Lena could actually say that.

Her interactions with Kara were not as forced, and their friendship was tentatively repaired, albeit somewhat crudely. The bond might have not been as healthy as it had been before their fight, but at least it was not as coarse as it was the start of senior year.

All thanks to Lena tutoring her on Saturdays for the A.P. music theory exam.

_"I'd rather study rocket science!" Kara shouted, smashing her fingers on the piano, "I have better things to do on a Saturday than this!"_

_"A lot of students taking music theory say the same thing," Lena chuckled, "And try not to destroy my piano, it's expensive."_

_"But my pitch is perfect."_

_"They're not only making you sing for the test," Lena informed, "Besides, your intonation needs a lot of work."_

_"What else are they going to do?"_

_"Make you analyze a tune," she answered, "For example: what meter is the Folgers jingle in?"_

_"Uh...two-two? So, alla..."_

_"Alla breve," Lena sighed, "And that's incorrect. It's common time, not cut time—four-four, Kara. You're probably thinking about that Meow Mix jingle you've been singing for the past few days."_

_"Urgh!"_

_Lena grabbed Kara's mug off of the piano and slid away, "I think you're going to need some more Folgers in your cup."_

_"I want to cry."_

Yeah.

She still had a ways to go.

In all honesty, Lena was positive they could never ever go back to the way they were, forever stuck in the fragile limbo of glass and eggshells whenever they were around one another.

There were still cracks, deep and daunting and inexplicably blocked by something—someone. Kara had a different method of mending their friendship while Lena was more cautious in her ways about it.

Kara was more exasperated and impatient since Lena became more of a recluse once the cold of winter arrived.

Not on Kara's watch though.

"There's a fireworks showing," she started, the crunch of her boots heavy against the thin bed of snow on the sidewalk, "Elk River is half an hour away."

"Kara—"

"I know you want to stay inside, but you've holed up in your house for too long," a pause, "I checked the weather too if it's a problem. It's going to be chilly, but it won't be snowing."

"The weather isn't the problem."

"I invited Lucy too. And—well—you don't have to worry about it just being the..." her tone fell, "...just the two of us..."

Lena heard a kick in the snow, something digging into the cement, probably a boot.

"I wouldn't have a problem with that," she said softly.

"Yeah."

Lena frowned at how distressed Kara sounded, like she did not believe a single word she said. Her ears perked up at the sniffle she heard.

"Kara—"

"It's a little cold out here," she chuckled forcefully, "My nose is—uh—a little runny."

Lena pressed her lips shut, deciding not to push anything.

* * *

" _What_!"

Kara shot up from her couch and promptly fell to the floor with a thud, "What? What's wrong?"

Lena groaned into her phone, "You've  _got_  to be joking."

"Nope," Lucy grinned, "I've got R.O.T.C. stuff going on."

"What a coincidence..." Lena grumbled.

"Listen, you two need to work whatever the fuck it is out. This stroke of luck is a sign that you guys need to fix shit."

"'Stroke of luck' my ass, you planned this shit—"

"Hey, you bastard!" Lucy shouted, there was a rustle, "Max keeps trying to flirt with Alex  _again_. I don't know how you got rid of him. Anyway, I need to make another phone call."

The next thing Lena knew there was a monotone beep that followed the end of the conversation.

"Bitch," she muttered under her breath.

"What's up?" Kara was concerned, padding over to her friend.

"Well—"

A loud ring interrupted them.

"H-Hold on, I need to take this," Kara stammered.

Lena heard her fumble with her cell before harshly tapping on the answer button to stop the ringtone.

"Lucy?"

Kara's voice diminished into harsh whispers as she stepped a few feet away, so quiet Lena was only able to pick up a few words.

"You're kidding...uncool...be really awkward...hates me..."

Lena's brows furrowed when the familiar end call drone emitted from the cell and Kara paced back closer.

"So, I'm going to assume you already know Lucy isn't coming," she said softly, and Lena nodded.

Kara sighed, her voice wavering, "Um, so if you don't feel like coming to the lake anymore, I understand—I don't want you to be uncomfortable. I'll start getting your stuff ready so you can leave again."

Lena's ears twitched at the last word, but judging from the scuffling sound of Kara gathering up her belongings, she did not notice the slip-up.

"Hey, I'm not leaving."

There was a crash and a plethora of apologies that spilled afterward and Lena jerked at the series of events.

"Uh, what?" Kara coughed, dumbfounded, "You're not? Are you—are you sure? It's no trouble."

"There isn't a problem. I'm fine with it," Lena's lips curled into a half-hearted smile, "I enjoy spending time with you anyway."

She gave as casual a shrug as she could, "Let's get going, midnight is in..." she placed a finger on the band wrapped around her wrist and ran the tip over the bumps, "...two hours."

"Uh, yeah. Awesome. Cool. That's—that's great."

"Do you need a thesaurus, Kara?"

"Be quiet."

Lena chuckled, rolling her eyes, "By the way. Your ringtone."

"Yeah?"

"It's tacky."

Kara gasped, "NSYNC is  _not_  tacky!"

* * *

Lena sat comfortably on the dock, legs dangling so her feet were ankle-deep in the cold water.

It was relatively quiet in their area; no people, only the tiny chirp of crickets and coos of perched birds. Any sign of disruption came from far into the distance where muffled sounds of celebrations buzzed.

It was just her and Kara, and thankfully not as awkward as Lena had originally anticipated. The ride to the lake was filled with idle chatter here and there, or the occasional blast of popular 2000's music.

_"Okay, but Bye Bye Bye is an absolute jam, Lena."_

_"But have you heard Bring Me To Life."_

_"Bye Bye Bye won an_ Emmy _Award!"_

_"Bring Me To Life peaked at number one in more countries than that godforsaken song!" Lena countered, "And you owe me, that Barbie marathon was probably the worst week of my entire life."_

_"...Fine, we'll listen to your stupid metal song," she huffed in defeat, "And Barbie is my childhood."_

_"You couldn't choose a Disney or Pixar movie?"_

_"All the Barbie movies are_ amazing _excuse you."_

_"All of them?" Lena arched a brow._

_"All of them," Kara asserted, adjusting the volume of the music._

_"By the way, what key signature is Bring Me To Life in?"_

_"Can we_ not _right now?" Kara groaned._

_A moment passed._

_"E minor?" she guessed._

_"Wrong."_

_"_ What _?" Kara exclaimed, slightly swerving the wheel, her tone one of disbelief, "No way! I got that right!"_

_"I'm just kidding."_

_"You're mean."_

Lena jolted when a splash resonated in front of her.

"Hey!" she shouted, wringing her shirt, "You got me wet, Kara!"

She chortled, an array of slaps in the water clapping through the quiet, "Get in here!"

Lena shook her head, "No! I can't swim you dork!"

"Fine, I guess I'll have fun without you, since you're so  _boring_."

"' _Boring_ '?" Lena exclaimed.

She stood up and slipped her shorts off and removed her t-shirt in several swift movements, now clad in her bikini. If there was one thing she learned from Veronica's impeccable lasciviousness, it was how to undress at the speed of light. She quickly undid her ponytail, shaking the dark tresses out freely.

"Oh my God..." Kara whispered to herself, awestruck.

"What was that?" Lena asked, running her fingers through her hair.

"N-Nothing!"

She rolled her eyes and jumped into the lake with an obnoxious splash.

When she resurfaced, she spit the water out and struggled to wade herself, "H-Holy sh-shit. What the...f-f-fuck. It's honestly f-freezing! Are you c-crazy? I can't even sw-swim."

A pair of strong arms guided Lena up, dragging her towards where she could put her feet flat down to the ground. She straightened up until the water was just above her hips, Kara standing next to her once her fingers drifted away from her waist.

Lena was not so sure she shuddered from the cold at that moment.

* * *

"You're sketching again."

"I am..." Kara hummed.

"What is it?"

"Hmm, guess."

Lena rolled her eyes, "How are you drawing anyway? It's probably dark right now, there's like ten or five minutes until midnight."

"Just guess you idiot. Also, clip-on lights exist."

Lena shrugged, snuggling into the damp towel wrapped around her shoulders, "How about a hint?"

"Beautiful."

"You say that as a hint all the time," she scoffed, "How about another?"

"Lovely."

"Can it  _not_  be a synonym to the first hint?" Lena chuckled.

Kara hesitated, her cadence dropping, "A little melancholic. A little sad."

"Sounds romantic," the Luthor smirked. She tugged her legs close to her chest and rested one of her cheeks on her damp arms propped on her knees, facing her friend's direction. Confusion flashed across Lena's face when there was an audible sharp intake of breath.

"Give me another?" Lena asked, her voice slightly muffled in her position.

"Ethereal."

A moment of silence.

"Is it pizza?"

Kara burst into laughter, relief tinging the surface of the bright sounds, "No. For a second I thought you were actually going to get it; you looked like you had an epiphany."

"A donut."

"No."

"Potstickers?"

"Good guess, but no."

"A dog."

"Also another good guess, but also a no."

"Now you're just fucking with me. How about another hint?"

There was a pensive pause.

"Pessimistic."

Lena chuckled sarcastically, "That sounds a lot like me."

Kara made a strangled sound, choking on nothing but air, but she gulped and let a nervous laugh slip out in its place. Before she could answer, a screeching sound filled their ears, chased by an explosion.

Lena gasped, slapping her palms onto the dock's wooden planks from the ear-shattering sound.

"Hey," Kara called out gently. It seemed as if she was scooting closer, then there was a hand grazing Lena's forearm.

"You're okay," she assured, the lilt in her voice comforting yet tentative.

Boom. More cheers.

Lena flinched, instinctively wrapping her fingers around Kara's hand and squeezing as tight as she could.

"Are you okay?"

"I don't exactly... _like_  fireworks."

Kara gasped, "Why didn't you tell me? We could've done something else!"

"It's—" Lena flinched when another bang in the sky rattled her ears, shaking off her towel, "—fine."

An arm draped over her shoulders and applied pressure, Kara's body closing the gap between them.

Lena felt intense heat form in her cheeks and she ducked her head to hide her blush, and suddenly the fireworks were just white noise in the background.

"Um, are they pretty?" she wondered.

Kara's arm never fell from Lena's shoulder and the latter barely contained a squeak when her friend's other hand placed itself on her thigh. Kara leaned in and slouched her head against Lena's shoulder.

"Very pretty," she answered softly, the puff of breath tickling the bareness of Lena's flesh.

She would have liked to say that she remained completely in control of her feelings, but at such a close proximity, at least half of her brain malfunctioned.

"I'm really missing out, am I?" she blurted.

The comment sounded a little bitter, and Lena could feel Kara frown.

"I mean," she added hastily, not wanting to bring down the celebratory mood, "I don't often wish I could see again, very seldom actually. I mostly want things any other person would: success, family, friends, happiness..."

She sighed, "But it's moments like this where I kind of get that little inkling," her hand that was not sandwiched between her and Kara traced patterns into the wood of the dock, "What's the moon like? What about the stars? Are there really as many in the sky as people say there are? And fireworks, are they really worth it to drive thirty minutes away from my house to watch? What color are they? It's not like I can see—it's been so long since I lost my sight that I can't remember—I've forgotten."

"Fireworks can be all sorts of colors," Kara answered, so soft and so sincere, "Some are red, some are blue, some are mixed, some are colors that are in between."

"'In between' huh?" Lena repeated, "I don't...I don't know..." her brows crinkled in frustration, "Colors are concepts, I can't sense them, they're associated with objects or emotions; the sky is blue, but sometimes it can be purple or orange or yellow or—I mean—what the fuck is a gradient?" she chuckled, "What color is olive and maroon and lavender? I know blue is sadness, and purple is fear, but red can be love or it can be anger. White is light. Black is darkness, but what I  _see_  isn't 'black', it's just...nothing. I can't witness the so-called beauty of colors."

Her inflection was simple, final, perhaps even nonchalant.

Kara's head lifted from Lena's shoulder, and the hand on her thigh squeezed reassuringly, her other arm moving to soothe over her back, "Concepts can still be beautiful."

Lena hummed, "Blue is my favorite concept."

"Why?"

"Everyone associates it with the sky, the cold, the moon, the oceans...and the rain—petrichor is my favorite smell, next to vanilla and mint and those tacky sea or forest aromas in those candle stores."

"I'm more into the freshly baked cookies scent, or gingerbread, but whatever floats your boat," Kara chuckled, "The Peeps marshmallow and Girl Scout cookie candles are great too."

Lena's expression puckered, "They make those?"

"Yankee Candle has a  _lot_  of questionable products. There's 'fluffy towels', 'whiskers on kittens', 'sparkling snowflakes'... They have a patriotic one too, it's called 'stars and stripes'."

"What the hell. What does that even smell like?"

"Freedom,  _duh_!"

"That makes no sense."

"Oh my gosh!" Kara laughed uncontrollably, "It makes no  _scents_!"

"I  _will_  push you into the lake, Ms. Danvers."

They both chuckled, basking in the silence of the night and the occasional crackle, yowl, and bang of a firework.

"Happy New Year, Lena," Kara murmured, the affection in her voice apparent.

The hand on Lena's back trailed up to push back a dark, stray lock of hair behind her ears.

She yawned, content, and rotated her head to face her friend next to her, "Happy New—"

Lena only managed half a gasp before she was pulled in by her neck for a kiss.

She froze, every nerve ending in her body tuned into the moment.

Fingers dug into Lena's hair, against her scalp, then grazed her jawline before caressing her cheek, and the other hand on Lena's thigh slid further up when Kara moved forward to deepen the passion of the action—her lips were so soft and supple.

Lena kissed back.

Once.

It was a poignant moment and it felt beyond perfect, her heart so elated it skipped a beat.

Then reality sunk her into an ice cold bath.

She shot her hand to Kara's stomach, short-circuiting for one hot second at the feel of her palm pressing against hard, flexing abs, taut muscles quivering from her touch. Then she pushed, their lips separating with a hushed smack.

Lena's eyes were wide with utter shock, and she assumed her friend's expression mimicked her own.

"I...I'm so sorry," Kara whispered breathlessly, "I didn't—I wasn't..."

Lena was still struggling to reel in what just happened, her brain lagging too far behind to register anything to conjure up a response.

"Lena?"

Once Kara's outstretched hand reached her arm, she processed the situation and recoiled with such force she fell back and staggered to her feet.

The creak of the wooden dock signaled to her that her friend stood up as well.

It creaked again, the soft pad of a bare foot nearing one step closer.

Lena took one back, a little dazed from the ordeal. A little sad.

A lot confused.

A lot angry.

Her brain was able to formulate several words after struggling for twenty seconds trying to haphazardly stitch up an elaborate response.

"Don't touch me!" she roared.

"Wait—"

Lena stumbled back another few steps, hot tears stinging her eyes, and then the ground suddenly disappeared and she yelped when she fell into the lake.

Her panic spiked when water entered her nostrils and throat into her lungs as she flailed her arms wildly.

A muddled shout reached her ears that sounded like her name, then there was a splash and a pair of arms dragging her out by her waist to the rocky shore.

Lena sputtered and coughed, blinking the water from her eyes.

* * *

The ride back was dead silent.

Save for the chattering of Lena's teeth.

And the occasional breath Kara took in whenever she wanted to say something, but every time Lena heard it she would lean farther away, tighten her crossed arms, and pull the hood of her cotton-light jacket farther down her face as she braced herself.

But Kara would never say anything, maybe it was due to her cowardice, maybe it was due to Lena's averse body language, maybe it was both.

When the car was set into park and a soft 'your stop' croaked from Kara's throat, Lena gathered her things in haste and slammed the vehicle's door shut, bolting away.

* * *

"What's got  _your_ panties in a twist, babe?" Veronica panted, her bare back hitting her bed.

Lena deflected the question with an open-mouthed kiss to the girl's neck, her tongue trailing down to dip into the hollow of her collarbone.

Veronica groaned and undid Lena's bun to tangle her fingers into the obsidian tresses, her other hand raking her nails against the porcelain skin of her partner's back and leaving a trail of angry red marks in their wake, "Cat got your tongue?"

Lena bit the flesh of a sharp jawline and dug her nails into Veronica's ass, causing her to arch up, "Shut up."

She squeaked, "You're a little rough tonight, aren't you? I'm kind of glad I was naked before you came over, my clothes would've been shredded apart."

Lena only grunted, roughly spreading her partner's legs and situating herself in between, her stomach pressing against the girl's wetness as she assaulted her breasts.

A whine ripped from Veronica's throat as she bucked her hips up to grind against Lena, " _Fuck_. Can you be angry every time we have sex?"

"You're so wet," Lena growled, cupping her center.

"No shit," Veronica gasped, her hips jerking, "As much as I'm—" another gasp, "—enjoying this foreplay, can you just—" she moaned, her patience crumbling, "— _put your goddamn fingers inside me already_!"

* * *

"Good job," Veronica sighed and moved on her back, still slightly breathless and a bit sweaty, "I don't think I've ever had that many orgasms in an hour. This New Year is off to a great start, aside from the soreness I'll get come morning."

"It's only been thirty minutes," Lena grumbled into the pillow next to her, arms comfortably tucked under and the front of her body pressing against the sheets, thin blanket draped just over her hips.

"Well, that's a little embarrassing," Veronica chuckled, "In my defense, you're really hot and sexy when you're pissed. A little bitchy, but really hot and sexy."

Lena snorted.

"Anyway," Veronica yawned and stretched, "You should probably get going, it's already ten."

Lena groaned.

"Okay, I guess you can stay for a few more minutes, but I highly doubt you want your mom to beat you home," Veronica hummed, turning her head to face her friend, "So, what's got you so riled up?"

Lena groaned into the pillow again.

"It's Kara, isn't it?"

Another muffled groan.

"Can you say something comprehensible?" Veronica asked, "I'm pretty curi—"

Lena rotated her head to face the general direction of her partner, "She kissed me."

"—ous about— _what the fuck_?"

"You heard me."

There was a moment of silence, and Lena assumed it was because Veronica was still going over the new information.

"Why're you so upset then? Isn't this a good thing? You like her, don't you?"

"It's complicated."

A pause.

"So you  _don't_ like her."

"I  _do_  like her."

"Then why is it so complicated? I'm missing the point here."

"I'm just confused. First she screams that she's straight at me in a pretty homophobic way and accidentally breaks my arm while doing so. Then she says she wants to be friends, and we were doing great at that until she decided to kiss me yesterday."

"Your guys's relationship is kind of..."

"Messy?"

"Yeah."

"What should I do? We have the tutoring session tomorrow, I can't help her with music theory like this."

"Well," Veronica cleared her throat, "I'd say you two need to communicate better so that there's no misunderstandings, but you're not great at talking so..."

"Thank you for the vote of confidence, Sinclair."

"Or you can just use your mom as an excuse," Veronica suggested, "That lady scares the living daylights out of everyone. I still don't know how you managed to convince her it was okay to have Kara over your place for tutoring 'cause of her 'no girls' rule,  _especially_  since she's always gone Saturdays."

"Not exactly a 'no girls' rule, but she's been getting more lenient—Jack is really making her swoon; I think she's starting to really think I've been 'cured' of the gay."

"Just go for Kara, Luthor. That's all I have to say."

"No thanks, I'm going to buy a plane ticket to Nepal and live my life as a farmer in the Himalayas."

Veronica scoffed, "You're so dramatic. You'd rather do that than talk to a girl you like?"

"Yes," Lena confirmed without hesitation.

"Oh boy, you need to sort out your priorities, so..." Veronica sighed, "...let's get to the root of the problem: why don't you want to talk to her?"

"Well, there's the fact that I'm furious at her, and that I'm probably just a lab rat for her to test on," Lena rolled her eyes, "Straight girls do 'experimenting' all the time. Even if she does like me, which she doesn't, I'm going to M.I.T. after high school; no one likes long-distance relationships."

Veronica shrugged, "That's an understandable concern, and there's the fact that you like her. On a side note, I still can't believe you got straight 'A's' even though you had your edgy slump."

Lena slammed her face into her pillow, "Feelings suck."

"Tell me about it, babe."

"So how's it going with Elizabeth Chapel?"

"We're talking about Kara Danvers right now, we can talk about Beth and I later," Veronica diverted, "I mean, your girl's easy on the eyes; she's got—"

"She's  _not_  'my girl'," Lena denied, but her comment went ignored, "And I don't exactly  _have_  'eyes'."

"—blonde hair, blue eyes, nice body, sweet personality—"

"You know blue and blonde don't mean anything to me, right?"

"—she can sing too, but her fashion sense is a little too... _modest_  for my tastes—"

"Can we not talk about Kara?" Lena grumbled, "I just want to either take a quick nap before I go or have another round, unless you're too worn out."

"Nap it is," Veronica decided.

"Thank you."

There was only about thirty seconds of silence until Veronica piped up again.

"Was she a good kisser?"

"I'm leaving."

* * *

Kara never arrived for the tutoring session.

Lena was hung up on trying to figure out what to say that her mouth jittered, and she sat on her piano bench in the living room fidgeting so much she realized thirty minutes had passed.

The possibility of Kara not coming never occurred to her until now.

Lena found herself disappointed, yet relieved. The hurt and anger inside her was still fresh, she was unsure what could have transpired had Kara decided to show up.

Lena expected her friend to badger her during the school week, but it was suspiciously quiet and uneventful—no tense confrontation, no words. The anxiety she felt made her restless.

Then next Saturday came.

Lena placed the pad of her index finger over her watch.

8:10 P.M.

She stretched and yawned, slumping into her couch and crashing, Kara was ten minutes late anyway, and she was likely not showing up. Lena made herself comfortable and fell into a light snooze.

The doorbell rang after five minutes.

Lena grunted.

Ding.

She sighed and dragged herself off the cushions, "Who is it?"

She trudged to the door and waited for an answer.

The voice was tiny and apprehensive.

"It's Kara."

Lena paused, her hand on the knob and the other frozen in midair reaching for the lock.

_Shit._

Her internal monologue was erratic for a split second before she chose to open the entrance.

It took a few seconds longer than usual for her to unlock the mechanisms holding the door closed due to the sleep she failed to rub out of her eyes.

The fact that she felt unprepared to face Kara was also of no help.

Lena took a deep breath and swung the door open with a soft creak, her expression a blank mask.

"You're late," she muttered stoically, "And missed last session."

"I'm sorry," Kara apologized, "I didn't think my presence was welcome."

Lena was pretty sure that heartfelt apology was not for her tardiness, and she pretended not to hear the last part.

"Come in," she invited.

Kara shuffled inside the mansion, her steps slow and tentative.

Lena shut the door and led the way to the living room, sitting on the bench as she heard her friend sift through the right notebooks and papers to place on the stand.

Then Kara slid onto the seat, their thighs brushing from the action. They both simultaneously scooted away and Lena's vigilance increased tenfold.

The elephant in the room certainly still had to be addressed.

But the courage Lena found when the pain was fresh just last week suddenly vanished, though the anger and confusion still simmered in the foreground, and she was wary.

From Kara's unusual silence, Lena deduced that she was just as unwilling to bring the topic up.

So they went on with their routine quietly and efficiently and  _very_  awkwardly.

"Play a major-six-major," Lena requested, returning from her kitchen with a cup of hot coffee in hand.

She narrowed her eyes, listening closely to the triads.

_A. C-sharp. E._

_D-sharp. G. A-sharp._

Lena blinked in surprise, "You've been practicing. How about major-four-minor?"

_F-sharp. A-sharp. C-sharp._

_F. A. C._

_E?_

Lena leaned in over Kara's shoulder, "You used an F-major-seven chord."

"Oh."

"It's fine," Lena placed her hand over her friend's on the piano and pressed into the stiff muscles, "Just relax your fingers."

"Sorry," Kara whispered gingerly, "I got a little..."

Lena suddenly felt like her friend's eyes were raking over her.

"...distracted," Kara finished as she turned her head, her minty breath puffing onto Lena's cheek, her lips barely grazing the pale skin.

Lena jerked backwards and folded her arms around herself protectively, her tone skeptical and cross, "What do you want?"

It was finally addressed.

The bench scratched the hardwood floor as Kara stood, "I—"

"First you said you wanted to be friends. But now what is it?" Lena's voice was unsteady, "'Cause friends don't kiss each other like that—back at Elk River. You don't  _like_  me that way, you said so almost a year ago. Do you remember what you said that day?" she asked, "Do you?"

Silence.

Lena scoffed, broadening her shoulders, "You said— _screamed_ —'I'm not like you'; that was a pretty aggressive 'I'm straight' statement you gave. It was awful to say the least—not the rejection part, I was expecting it, but the way you sounded when you said those words..." she tilted her head, "It was a little deplorable, don't you think?"

"I understand, I didn't mean to—"

"I  _know_  you didn't mean to, Kara," Lena snapped, "But that doesn't mean it didn't hurt."

Then she chuckled bitterly to herself, expression sour, "And I thought my mother was the only person who could make me feel ashamed and humiliated about my sexuality."

"I'm sorry."

"And I'll forgive you," Lena mumbled, "Just...not right now. Eventually though. I need more time. You have to realize that what you did was uncalled for," she expelled a shaky breath, "And it's on me too. I should've made more of an effort to rekindle our friendship, maybe you would've been less despera— _inclined_ —to try and fix it by giving me a kiss out of pity."

"It wasn't out of pity," Kara argued, "I do  _love_  you, Lena! As more than a friend!"

Lena's hand was quickly enveloped into her friend's palms, clammy with nervousness.

But she pulled away and shook her head in disbelief as her lips trembled, " _Don't_. Don't say that. It's cruel. It's not fair to either of us. You don't love me, Kara," she choked on her words, "Not like that. You're just—you're confused."

"Who are  _you_ to dictate how  _I_  feel?" Kara countered.

"Oh, I don't know, you were pretty convincing when you said you were straight."

"But I've realized things now," she implored.

"What the  _fuck_  do you want from me?" Lena cried.

" _You_! I want  _you_ , you  _idiot_!" Kara sobbed, "I want the same things you do. I want to hold  _your_  hand, I want to cuddle with  _you_ , I want to kiss  _you_ , I want us to have a relationship like those cheesy romance movies I made you watch."

Lena's mouth gaped, and she buried her face into her hands.

This was all she ever wanted, but even after the heartfelt confession, she was not quite convinced. There were so many variables: Kara is pity-liking her, Kara is confused, Kara will find someone better, Kara will realize she made a mistake, Kara will realize she deserves better, Kara will leave her, Kara will—

"You're overthinking."

Lena dropped her hands to her sides and hung her head low, "I think you should leave."

She heard a thump as Kara dropped back onto the bench, a strangled gasp combined with a sob left the girl's lips.

"You don't want that anymore," Kara murmured, mostly to herself, "You don't want me anymore," she sniffed, "You've moved on, haven't you? I'm too late. It's  _Veronica_ , isn't it?"

Lena startled from her thoughts at how hopeless and defeated she sounded when she said Veronica's name.

"I do want you, Kara."

"You...you do?"

Lena dropped to kneel and put a hand over her friend's knee.

"Of course I do."

Kara did not hesitate to link her hand with Lena's, who squeezed reassuringly.

"But?" Kara inquired, "What's holding you back?"

Lena gave a half-hearted smile, "I'm not staying here after graduation. I'm going to M.I.T."

"You're going to M.I.T.?" Kara repeated.

Lena nodded, "We'll be apart, and even if we were together, I couldn't ask you to maintain a relationship with so much distance between us."

Kara frowned, shoulders sagging as she traced a circle on the back of Lena's palm with her thumb.

"You're worth it," she whispered, then took a deep breath, "Hypothetically, if we were together, would you want to stay together despite that? Would you want to try?"

"I would," Lena breathed out, her other hand hooking behind Kara's neck, slowly pulling her down.

Kara met her lips halfway.

Lena felt her chest flutter, her fingers now digging into silky locks, gently scratching her scalp.

She pulled away, just as Kara nipped her bottom lip and moved her tongue in to deepen the kiss.

Lena smirked when Kara whined at the separation, leaning forward to chase her lips.

"You're a biter too," Lena chuckled offhandedly.

She heard Kara huff at the unintentional comment she made about Veronica.

"Don't worry," Lena smiled, "There's nothing between us."

"Better not be," she grumbled.

Lena felt the collar of her shirt pull and Kara's lips crashed back onto hers.

* * *

"You're not going to a five-star restaurant, Lena," Jack sighed.

"She might as well be," Veronica called out from the closet, "Everything in here is Armani, Burberry, Gucci, Prada, Versace, and—oh—of course you have Oscar de la Renta."

"This is our first date, I don't know what to wear and I'm trusting you two to not dress me like an idiot," Lena groaned, falling face-first onto her bed.

"It's a high school football game," Jack chuckled, "Just dress casual."

"The most 'casual' thing she has in here is a pair of jeans and a blouse," Veronica interjected, still rummaging through the closet, "From Porsche Design."

"What color is it?" Jack asked.

"Black."

"You look good in black," the boy complimented Lena.

"Yeah she does!"

Jack laughed, "What about the shirt?"

"White."

Veronica shuffled out of the closet, Lena presumed with the items in hand.

"She'll look nice in those," Jack approved.

"'Nice'? She's going to look  _hot_ ," Veronica hummed, "Red stilettos would be  _amazing_  with this outfi—"

" _Casual_ ," Jack reminded her, " _Casual_."

"Fine, I'll tone down on the heels, so I'm going to pick out some nice boots. Be right back. Catch!"

Jack huffed and Lena felt the rush of air as he caught the flying clothes.

He shifted and laid out the apparel on her mattress.

"Will Kara like it?" Lena inquired nervously.

"Why do you think she wouldn't?" Jack replied with a question.

"I don't know..."

"She's liked you even when you were dressed like a hobo," Veronica answered instead, "Just relax."

"I didn't ask  _you_ ," Lena retorted, shooting up from her bed.

Jack chuckled at the exchange, placing a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder, "The outfit is a little bit too formal for a football game, but I think it'll go over well with your date."

"Got them!" Veronica shouted, through more clutter.

"I thought you said you'd tone down on the heels!" Jack groaned, exasperated.

"I did! They're black!"

"Those are at  _least_  six inches!" he protested.

"They're Christian Louboutin!" Veronica implored.

"Make it two inches!"

"Four!"

"Three!" he countered.

"Fine!" Veronica growled, darting back into the closet, "And what are we going to do about her face?"

"What's wrong with my face?" Lena asked, a look of panic flashing across her features.

"Nothing's wrong with it, babe," she reassured, "I'm just talking about makeup!"

"But I don't need it."

"I gave up the sexy red stilettos, you're going to put the color on your lips instead!" she demanded, "You'll look great!"

Jack shrugged, "She's not exactly wrong."

Veronica rushed out and gripped Lena's hand, tugging her over to the bathroom, "Let's get changing."

* * *

"What am I supposed to do with my hair?" Lena grumbled, rubbing her lips together at the strange polish.

Veronica snatched a rubber band and brush from the counter and tied the raven locks into a high ponytail, "Easy peasy lemon—stop doing that, you'll ruin your lipstick."

She playfully smacked Lena upside her head before dragging her out of the bathroom, "Let's show Jack."

Lena stumbled back into her room and quickly straightened her posture, "Uh, how do I look?"

"She's hot, right?" Veronica grinned, patting her friend on the back.

There was a moment of silence.

"She looks like a milf."

"Shut the fuck up."

Lena's lips quirked into a smile at the sound of a thud and a subsequent yelp of pain from Jack that followed.

"I was asked to express my opinion!" he argued, "It's not like she's an  _un_ attractive P.T.A. mom!"

" _You're_  an unattractive P.T.A. mom!" Veronica rebuked.

"That doesn't even make sense!"

" _You_ don't make sense!"

Another slap.

"Stop hitting me!" Jack whined.

* * *

Lena's expression momentarily formed one of befuddlement at Kara's silence.

Her confusion grew when she heard a clack of teeth.

"Keep your mouth closed and stop gawking like an idiot," came Lucy's tease, who stepped forward to envelop Lena in a tight hug, "Great wardrobe. You look hot."

"I know right?" Veronica chuckled, casually leaning against the Luthor, "I dressed her myself," she nudged her friend's ribs playfully, "I have to say it's a lot easier taking her clothes off than putting them on."

Lena rolled her eyes and scoffed under her breath, "More like ripping..."

A loud pop and a rush of liquid startled the group of girls.

"Kara! You exploded your soda all over the grass!" Lucy exclaimed, "Give me the drink."

Lena's lips twitched into an amused smile.

"Whoops," Kara gritted through clenched teeth.

"Oh, Veronica, look at that!" Lucy gasped.

"What?"

"You know... _that_ ," the girl repeated before dragging her away from the couple.

The last thing Lena heard was Lucy scolding Veronica.

"Keep your dirty comments to yourself, Sinclair."

Lena chuckled, diverting her attention to her date, "Sorry about that, Veronica is a pretty flirty person."

"Let's just go find a seat and watch the game," Kara pouted, leading the way.

"By the way, does anyone else know about us?"

"Oh, it's just Lucy, James, Maggie, Mike, Winn, and Alex," she answered, seating herself next to her girlfriend on the bleachers.

Lena bristled, "And, uh, how's your sister reacting to this new development?"

Kara laced their hands together and leaned in to whisper, "She'll warm up to you," and placed a chaste kiss behind her ear before resuming her attention to the football game.

Lena ducked her head shyly, feeling a blush rush up to her cheeks, "That doesn't make me feel any better."

"I might've...cried about you...a lot," Kara mumbled.

Lena squeezed her hand and frowned, "I'm sorry."

Kara reciprocated the action, "Me too. Let's just enjoy the game."

* * *

"How was your exam, darling?"

"Awful," Kara sighed, closing the door to her house.

"Awful?" Lena repeated with a smirk, closing her book and saving her place with her finger, "With  _my_  tutoring?"

"Music theory is hard. The test ended at four, then the soccer potluck ended at eight, and then I had to run to the bus stop, which I missed, and now it's like nine or ten in the evening and I'm  _tired_ ," Kara drawled out, tapping Lena's legs, "Now sit up and make some space for me."

"My, you're a little grumpy."

Kara muttered something under her breath before cozying up next to Lena and nuzzling her head under her neck. She reached for the remote and turned down the volume on the television.

"How'd you get in my house anyway?" came the muffled voice.

"I came early, just as your parents were leaving for their trip, they let me in," Lena answered, stroking Kara's blonde locks.

"When was the last time you brushed your hair," she inquired amusedly, tugging away the knots with her fingers as she carded them through the tresses.

"It's A.P. test week, excuse the mess," Kara scoffed, "I also missed the bubble party, so that put a damper on things."

"I told you it was before school that we had to fill out the forms," Lena smacked her head lightly, "Five months into this relationship and you're already slacking."

"I don't need to impress you anymore," she muttered, her hold on the girl tightening possessively.

"I'm just glad you managed to tell your parents about us," Lena hummed, "I don't know how much longer I could've beared with the discrete handholding."

"But you got a lot of hugs."

"Unnecessarily long hugs."

"But they're hugs."

"How long is your ideal hug anyway?"

"Forty minutes."

"That's not realistic."

"You said ideal, not practical."

Lena chuckled, "You're such a dork."

"But I'm  _your_ dork for the next week."

"Not exactly," she sighed, "Mother is actually returning from her business trip early. Tomorrow night actually."

Lena could feel Kara frown.

"Awww. Fine. We'll just have a sleepover for a day then."

"You're cute."

Kara giggled and leaned in to peck her girlfriend's lips. Before she could move away, Lena placed her hands on Kara's cheeks, pulling her in for a deeper kiss.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" Lena murmured, her nose brushing against her girlfriend's as her thumbs traced her cheekbones. She swung her legs over in one smooth motion to straddle her.

Kara laughed and rested her hands on the Luthor's hips.

"I'm serious," Lena reiterated with a wide grin, "I can still appreciate beauty without sight."

"I know. I believe you," Kara hummed, fluttering her eyes closed as a pair of thumbs gently smoothed over them.

Lena's fingers traced over her soft jawline, then against her supple lips.

"I should've mapped your face out sooner."

Kara giggled, "Why didn't you?"

"Boundaries," she cited, "It's not everyday you get a blind girl groping your face."

"What a gentlewoman," she teased.

"Shut up," Lena chuckled, kissing Kara again, darting her tongue out and slowly dragging it to her jaw. She felt the girl shudder and slid a hand down to caress her neck, the other tangling in her blonde hair and pulling her head back so she could easily access the hollow of her throat.

Kara moaned and jerked her hips up when Lena sucked the skin between her teeth and nipped.

"Little eager?" she teased.

Kara whimpered when a cold hand slipped under her shirt and scratched her stomach and a tiny gasp escaped Lena when she felt the hard abs under her palm twitch.

Kara grabbed a pair of soft, porcelain thighs and stood, hooking the legs around her waist as she made for the bedroom. She deposited Lena onto the mattress gently, crawling on top of her and sighing into her mouth.

"Mmm, I like it when you wear my clothes," she complimented, pulling at the neck of the sweater and the band of the shorts in gratitude.

Lena smirked, "I like your clothes too, they're so soft, but they're better off." She tugged her girlfriend's top over her head and dropped them to the floor before bending down to claim Kara's lips and resting their foreheads together.

"Are you sure?" she breathed.

Kara nodded so enthusiastically she bumped her head against Lena's.

"Ow."

"S-Sorry! I'm sure. I'm very, very sure," the girl amended.

Kara squeaked when Lena's fingers unbuttoned and pulled down the fly of her jeans, dragging the pants down as she helped kick it to the floor.

"You're wearing too many clothes," Kara whined, Lena felt the girl bunch her sweater into her fists desperately, beginning to pull it upwards.

"Don't," Lena said, her breaths shaky and nervous as she intercepted the action with her hands, "Uh, y-you're going first."

"Okay?" she replied, her voice skeptical.

Lena stroked Kara's knees affectionately, guiding them open for her to move her body between. She grinned when the impatient hips below bucked upward to gain friction.

"Hold on," Lena laughed.

Kara grunted, and once the bottoms were off, she shoved her girlfriend over. Lena's back hit the bed with a soft thump, quickly pinned by Kara straddling her.

" _Ah_ ," Lena whined, her hands gripping a muscled waist as she felt hips thrusting against her own.

Kara panted, her breaths sharper and shorter the faster she grinded into Lena, whose nails dug into her sweating skin.

"Panties off.  _Now_ ," Lena growled, her attention diverting to how damp her shorts were. She hastily slipped her hands past Kara's garment to feel wetness slide against her palm.

They both gasped.

"Already, Kara?" Lena smirked, though it was quickly wiped off her face when the girl bent over to capture her lips in a sloppy kiss. Kara made a strangled moan when Lena pulled her fingers away, busying herself with ripping the panties off. She needed to feel more skin and she needed it immediately.

"Lena— _ah_ ," Kara whimpered when deft fingers returned, "I've never been with a— _oh_ —a girl before."

The Luthor smirked wickedly, backing away despite Kara's protesting moans until her face was between her legs.

"It's okay," she breathed, nipping at twitching inner thighs, "I'll show you."

* * *

Lena hummed into the crook of Kara's neck, their legs tangled with one another's under the blanket, and continued to stroke the toned abs with her fingers, her other arm pinned under Kara's weight.

"Lena?"

"Mmm?" she hummed, snuggling their bodies closer.

"Um..."

Lena's brows creased, and she halted her wandering hand, settling it over Kara's bare stomach, draped over the heated skin lazily.

"You sound a little troubled," she breathed, brushing her lips over her girlfriend's cheek.

Lena heard a sigh followed by the dip in the bed shifting, and Kara's nose nudged against hers before a kiss was placed upon her lips. A hand cupped her jaw, traveled to her messy raven hair.

Then Kara pulled back, "I'm going to N.C.U."

Lena frowned. She knew they would be separated once they graduated from high school, but the fact that their distance from each other would increase the moment they entered university carved a frown into her face.

"National City?" Lena questioned, "That's all the way on the other side of the country."

"I know," Kara mumbled, tightening her embrace around Lena, "Not quite a five hour drive from Met U to M.I.T."

"What made you not choose Metropolis?"

"I want to pursue journalism, but I don't want to be at the Daily Planet—that's my cousin's jurisdiction," she chuckled, "And I, uh, I got an internship in California. Kind of."

"Kind of?"

"Technically I'm an assistant."

Lena closed her eyes and whispered into her neck, "Where?"

"CatCo Worldwide Media."

Lena could hear Kara's giddiness at the new opportunity, "Congratulations, darling. I'm happy for you. You'll be a great journalist soon, as long as you give me good press with LuthorCorp."

"You're taking over the company?" Kara inquired, "Do you...do you  _want_  to take over the company?"

She shrugged, "It wasn't unexpected. Mother probably wants to retire."

"And what does she think about you taking over the family business?" Kara asked.

Lena frowned, tracing feathery circles on a muscular back, "Let's not talk about her."

"Is she the reason why you don't want me to see you?"

"Well, I am pantsless, and underwearless, so you got to see my—"

"That wasn't the question," Kara squeaked, dipping her head as her cheeks flushed.

Lena chuckled at her nervousness, "Kind of."

Kara pressed their faces closer, "Kind of?"

Lena gave a melancholic smile before laying flat on her back, slowly removing the sweater and letting it fall to the floor, now fully bare for her girlfriend's eyes to roam.

She heard the breath Kara huffed, heard the scratch of the sheets as she shuffled closer, felt a soft hand graze over her chest, around her naked breasts.

"How recent are these bruises?"

"A week maybe?" Lena answered, shuddering as lips tickled over the ladder of her ribs.

"I can pull some strings," Kara breathed hotly against pale skin, "Perks of having Alex as a federal agent and Maggie as a detective. They actually already have plenty of evidence to rightfully incriminate Lillian and lock her away for a long time, and you'd be left with LuthorCorp's wealth."

Lena felt Kara shuffle, draping her body closer to hers and wrapping her arms around her torso, just under her breasts, in a soft hug.

"Lena?"

She could hear the worried tone in Kara's voice, how it wavered at her name.

"Yeah?" she answered, tucking the girl under her chin snugly.

"You don't want to make a case against her, do you?"

Lena sighed, "It's not that I don't want to, it's just..."

She trailed off, "...I don't know."

"You still love her," Kara mumbled against her throat, "You care about what's going to happen to her if she's guilty."

Lena scoffed weakly, turning her back to Kara, "No, she can rot in hell for all I care. But..." she gulped, "...she's my only family left. I-I can't just let her go... She raised me, she put a roof over me when no one else would, she..." Lena gripped the bed sheets tightly, "...conditioned me into this helpless girl that's always vying for her mother's attention and approval."

Kara pressed her lips to the nape of Lena's neck and embraced her, "I'm your family. And Lucy. And Winn. Everyone else will eventually be too. You deserve some amount of justice, and though I prefer it in the form of sending Lillian to prison, you decide whether you want that or not."

Lena released an unsteady breath, "You're right. I deserve that. At least that. Tell your sister and her girlfriend I'm going to consider it."

"I will..." Kara hummed, "Ha, who knew you'd be the little spoon."

Lena let out a playful growl and shoved her off the bed, her body making a loud thump on the floor.

"Hey!"

"You can sleep on the couch."

Kara glared at the girl and stood up, popping her neck and cracking her knuckles, "Fine. Two can play this game."

Lena swallowed, "Don't. You.  _Dare_."

Kara grinned evilly and wiggled her fingers and pounced, their naked bodies writhing for dominance, "Tickle monster!"

"No!" Lena gasped, breathless, "Stop! I admit defeat! Stop tickling me!"

Kara chuckled, dropping her head and rolling them over, "You lasted longer this time."

"Shut up," Lena grumbled, smiling when a loving kiss was placed on her cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Constructive criticism appreciated.**


End file.
